The Boys Read The Bible

We pick up with the gang in the desert, no longer hungry but still very thirsty. Moses cajoles water from a rock, and his father in law teaches him how to organize his phrophet-hood into an actual government and religion by establishing a middle management. Also, Alex publicly apologizes to our past guests for an unknown reason. Guests: Luke, Alex, Nic Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for mo...

We speculate on all things mana; where it is from, what it tastes like, what it could be and if we would be happy or grossed out by it. Noah recites Miriam's death metal classic, and we begin our journey out into the desert. Guests: Luke, Alex, Nic, Noah Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We get to a big milestone in the Bible, the story of the parting of the Red Sea. We get a glimpse into God's military strategy, and get a theophany with a bonus angel. We discuss the terror of God for the first time in a while, and some of the more minor details often glossed over in the story of the Red Sea crossing. Guests: Luke, Alex, Nic, Daniel, Max Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for...

We celebrate Passover, as the Israelites finally manage to escape slavery with the help of God's divine hand. God lays out some dietary restrictions, and a few ideas for a holiday he wants his people to start celebrating. Noah and Nic take over reading on this episode to prove they have Bibles and can read. Guests: Luke, Alex, Nic, Noah Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is cut short because Alex had plans at 9, so if you were hoping for your allotted 1 hour of rambling you can play this on half speed. We only read one chapter as a result, but its still a good one, and its two more plagues, if anyone thought it couldn't get worse. Guests: Luke, Alex, Nic, Erika Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

EDIT: I had to reupload this episode because of some technical issues. The last one was for some reason only 30 minutes, so if you listened to that already, sorry, now you can relisten to it. We talk about frogs and fleas. Daniel joins us. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I would have named this episode something else based on the unanimous thematic take-away discussed towards the end, but I am not allowed to. We sadly have to read some begats, but Alex takes some shortcuts to avoid most of it for you all. Max's recording drops very early in the episode, so I tried to cut in such a way that it isn't super weird for us to be talking to an invisible voice. Moses begi...

We read the story of Moses and the burning bush, and obviously talk about all of the various interpretations that go along with "talking to a burning bush". We read more receipts, and Moses gets recruited to lead a slave revolt. We are sadly not joined by any guests. If you want to be one email us. Also God tries to kill Moses??? Guests: Alex, Luke, Nic Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for m...

We talk about midwives for way too long on this episode and fall into a googling hole. More importantly, we finally start the second book of the bible, Exodus, and Luke does an extremely long powerpoint presentation that only the guests can see (sorry audience) about what to expect in Exodus and what kind of historical context to include in our expectations for the book. We are joined by Cassidy,...

We finally finish the book of Genesis. You probably didn't think we would, but we did it to spite each other and our audience. We say goodbye one last time to a few more favorites, and we attempt to decipher the sometimes vague and sometimes extremely benign prophecies of Israel. Lee has a difficult time staying on the call, and I summarize the entire first book of the bible for you all at a super...

A lot of people die, and Joe's master plan (maybe?) goes through without a hitch, as it always does for him. Blessings are transfered through family members in a confusing and extremely specific fashion. Alex is not here for this episode and we also had technical difficulties in the beginning, so if it sounds like we'd been chatting for a bit at the top of the episode, its because we were. The cut...

This episode is riddled with technical issues. Alex's audio is spotty because his original recording didn't upload so I had to use our backup, and Noah's call drops half way through from the recording. If the conversation sounds weird, it's because I tried to edit out any portions where we were talking to people who's audio failed to record, and I tried to mark sections where that occurs so it's l...

It is still about Joe, and he is still gaslighting his siblings - which we do tire of, but Ben points out that in Joseph's defense he was sold into slavery so he can have a little bit of gaslighting as a treat. Also, Alex and Nic share their own dreams for interpretation and Ben touches a Bible for the first time in his life. Sorry if Ben is quiet and my audio is weird, we shared a microphone and...

Joseph is at long last reunited with his brothers that tried to kill him and sell him into slavery. He spends the entire family reunion lying to them about his identity and their innocence in an extremely dramatic fashion, but who wouldn't after what they did. Guests: Alex, Luke, Nic, Indu, New Nick Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Joseph institutes agricultural planning practices in Egypt, something that they probably should have instituted earlier, and gets in tight with pharaoh and his sun stuff. Also, I am sorry for the wildly inconsistent audio volume between episodes, I just sat back down to edit the episode backlog for the first time in a while and I have no idea what the right volume is right now. Also there are now...

We follow our new favorite main character Joseph, or as Ana insists on calling him, Joe, as he snakes his way out of a handful of sticky situations. Joe leverages an assault allegation to move himself from slave to the head of the Egyptian department of agriculture in a few short years, with his own wits and also probably a lot of help from God. Guests: Alex, Luke, Nic, Ana Hosted on Acast. See ac...

On this episode we begin the story of Joseph, his coat and his terrible brothers. We are joined by Ana and Matt. I don't really remember what happens in this episode I edited it weeks ago and am just now publishing it. Guests: Luke, Alex, Nic, Ana and Matt Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode we read Genesis 34 and 35, and discuss the geopolitical climate of the promised land. Levi and Simeon do some terrible things to some other people who also did terrible things, and Alex launches his search engine. Also, nose rings are ok with God. Guests: Luke, Alex, Nic Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's episode, we hit a big landmark in the Bible, that being the birth (kind of) of Israel. A strong case is made for God entering the wrestling hall of fame, and lots of livestock-related math is done. Guests: Luke, Alex, Nic Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Laban and Jacob have a "confrontation" regarding Jacob's "theft" and there is a brief discussion of male and female familial hierarchy and the nature of household gods. Payton is entirely missing in this episode, the reason is still unknown and he spills a comically large amount of Cheerios. Lee relearns how to read a bible. Guests: Luke, Alex, Nic, Lee, Technically Payton Hosted on Acast. See aca...

Jacob works on his uncle's ranch for 7 years to earn his cousin's wife, Rachel, and eventually earns a wife, but not the right wife. There's a bit of a baby-making competition, and Jacob scams Laban out of a lot of sheep, somehow, possibly through genetics. Guests: Luke, Alex, Nic, Noah, Payton Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Half of this episode is a discussion of the story of Jacob and Esau from the last chapter with some examples of how the story might be used in a sermon, as well as Haley's gender studies-ish interpretation. The Second half is the story of Jacob's Ladder, a brief but iconic Bible story. We also get a bit into chapter 29, for those listeners that are trying not to get confused as t where we are. Goi...

We read the story of Issac, Jacob, and Esau with this week's guest, Haley. We discuss the questionable ethics of Jacob and his mother's plan to rob the eldest of birthright, and what that implies for Jewish and Christian tradition. The story is a literarily famous one, and we break down the symbolism and character motivations actually found within the text rather than the mythos and assumed narrat...

We jump back into the Bible with Luke's new roommate, Ryan, to discuss Abraham's number one wingman and his quest to get Issac laid. We say goodbye to some important characters, say hello to some new ones, and admittedly read one of the less interesting stories in the Bible but only out of narrative necessity. The audio quality takes a brief but severe dip due to the group transitioning to a remot...

God asks Abraham to sacrifice the son God just gave him, and we talk about wether or not God is allowed to pull a takesy-backsey of such monumental proportions. There are water rights disputes in the land of Abimelech, and Hagar gets kicked out again. The episode stays brief for the first time in a while, and the narrative of Abraham returns to some of the symbolic gestures of weirdly abusive but...