The Boys Read The Bible

We have Jonah on, who teaches us about Yeshiva, shares his opinions about the Torah, and reveals to us that David has never had any insightful or original thoughts in his life. You may have noticed a mistake in the title of this episode. It is not a mistake, we really skipped an entire chapter of the Bible, from the book of Numbers no less. Sadly, in this episode, Nic bravely spoke out when I wron...

Alex sees punishment for adultery both ways and David weighs in on issues of misogyny. We also pound out exactly how much Luke's brother probably owes Alex for fake employing him. Also we slam through two chapters because David has on the ground reporting regarding those Jewish tunnels that were all over the internet a few years ago. We also discuss Jewish apocalypticism and the dynamics of the Lu...

Sorry for the audio quality, we lost Angelo's recording halfway through so I had to use the backup file which is much lower quality for everyone. We get into the nitty gritty with some rules about dolphin skins and a complicated financial scheme that seems to benefit Moses and Aaron in a confusing and underhanded way. The Levites seem to be getting a bad deal, but we're not really sure. Donate mon...

WE ARE BACK. We actually never left, I am just terrible at editing. If we ever stop posting episodes, and you wonder, "did this podcast die?", just know that it is not dead, we are doing it without you, every week. Guests: Alex, Nic, Luke, Cassidy Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

SORRY FOR BROOKE'S AUDIO I can't fix it. Hopefully she's audible enough. There are about 15 minutes of banter at the beginning of this episode, so if you don't want to hear us chit chat for two long, skip it. We talk about partying, how to do it, how not to do it, what to eat when you do it, when to do it, why to do it, who to do it with, and what to kill at the party. We discuss lunar calendars,...

I am so sorry, but in the last episode we forgot to read Leviticus Chapter 20, so I read it quickly at the beginning for those of you that still refuse to obtain your own Bible. Luckily, it is basically the same content of Chapters 18 and 19, so the discussion would have been redundant anyways, We are losing steam slowly on reading lots and lots and lots of laws and cover everything from ableism t...

On this episode, we discuss all of the sexual acts god finds disgusting, and we discuss how creative they are and the merits of a society that lacks those acts. We also briefly touch on one of the more politically relevant verses of the Bible, the infamous Leviticus 18:22. Luke from the future gives better prepared notes on how this verse can be interpreted differently and provides a few resources...

We get a demon name drop (Azazel), we discuss more sacrifice options, and general rules as to how to be a good boy or gal. I am so, so sorry for you listeners, I promise it gets better. Guests: Alex, Keith, Luke Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

More skin disease, more cleansing, more sickness, still no guests. Us three men get to the bottom of misogyny (we solve it) and also if periods are gross or not. We read a lot about just about every unclean thing that could be ejected from a man or woman's body. Guests: Alex, Nic, Luke Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1984 sucks, its a bad book, we get it, authoritarianism bad. We discuss leper colonies, how to treat it, and also how birth is maybe a sin. No guests because we don't have friends. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Aaron's sons use some unauthorized, strange fire, and get in very big trouble with both God and Moses. The Bible does finally get good again, and we read a great story about some smiting and some priestly drama. We bash on winos for a while so sorry if you're a Barefoot enjoyer. We also talk about the entire list of kosher and unclean animals, and speculate on what animals would not be on the list...

We read ALOT, and it drains much of our enthusiasm. We are trying to power through these repeat laws for your sake and ours. We cover more sacrificing, more blood spraying and more offerings. We spend a large portion of the last ten minutes speculating on how to perform a "scientific" animal sacrifice ourselves. Guests: Alex, Luke, Nic Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Tbh I edited this a while ago so I don't really remember what happens. I think it's more sacrificing. Also we try to dip our toes into the Talmud but it doesn't go well. We are very sorry for reading so little of the actual Bible this episode. Guests: Alex, Luke, Nic Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We get into the nitty gritty of killing bulls and rams to cleanse the people of their sacrifices, and Luke spoils some of the events of the New Testament so that everyone has a more holistic context for blood sacrifice. Guests: Alex Luke Nic Brooke Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We dive into the third book of the Bible. We are back from break. Again. Guests: Alex, Luke, Nic Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Alex and Nic appoint Luke chairman of obfuscation, and we proceed to power through every single detail regarding the construction of the tabernacle as it is repeated for Moses' new plates. Part of the way through, we all take a deep breath and decide to save you all from another episode of Ikea instructions and read FOUR WHOLE CHAPTERS in one episode. You're welcome. Guests: Alex, Luke, Nic Hosted...

Exodus: Chapter 34-35 - God lays down more laws to replace the ones that Moses broke, and he has a rant about how awesome he is. We speculate on the feasibility of removing gold from the human body after it has been consumed. We talk a bit more about the two author hypothesis, and relate our opinions about reading some portions of the Bible as metaphor and some literally. Guests: Alex, Luke, Nic,...

Exodus: Chapter 32-33 - Moses comes down from the mountain to absolute mayhem in the form of idol worship. God gets really mad, and Moses talks him down from starting from zero again with a bit of decimation instead. Aaron avoids accountability by the hem of his ephod, and we discuss ancient cow worship. Guests: Alex, Luke, Nic, Hannah Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Exodus: Chapter 30-31 - I'm sorry folks but this is a particularly off topic episode. We do cover two chapters, but we did this episode after a bit of a break so we aren't in the flow and just jibber jabber about nonsense for a large portion. We read about biblical taxes and incense laws, so if you decide you can't bear to sift through our chit-chat, you aren't missing much. Also, Bibles are basic...

Exodus: Chapter 29 - We read about lots of animal sacrifices, what to do with their insides, and question if any of it is really necessary considering the binding of Issac. God instructs Aaron and the blood boys to spray viscera, blood and organs all over his fancy new tent so that nobody needs to worry about sins. Daniel thinks God might have been an early 80's metal fan. Guests: Alex, Luke, Nic,...

Exodus: Chapter 28 - If you were hoping for more gold, there's lots more gold. Aaron and his blood boys get ephods, blue cords and breastplates adorned with crystals. We talk alot about crystals and crystal magic, because God is very interested in using them to symbolize the twelve tribes. If you or someone you love knows lots about crystals, tell them we want them to come on and tell us what they...

Exodus: Chapter 25-27 God has something against dolphins, and we read a lot of instructions on how to build a very gold, very brass, very dolphin skinned tabernacle. There are more sacrifice instructions, and the Israelites have a lot of work cut out for them, because this tent is going to be many talents heavy. Alex pontificates on how much he can empathize with godhood, and we critique God's gar...

Exodus: Chapter 23-24 Welcome to Alex, don't forget to like that like button and smash that bell. Alex reads Alex, and we discuss unlevened bread, murder, some other laws, and we think some are good and some are bad. Also, David comes on for his first episode (late). Also God calls for six genocides and shows off his feet. Guests: Alex, Luke, Nic, David, Daniel, Max Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/...

This one goes out to women. Welcome to tall talk. Luke rambles about Nextdoor drama (that he incited), and we read about property law, which includes humans as much as it does inanimate objects. There are a few cool laws in this section that we will put the TBRTB seal of approval on, such as Exodus 21:28 and Exodus 22:26. Guests: Alex, Luke, Nic Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more info...

The Ten Commandments! The big rules! We finally get to find out what God's top ten priorities are, and he comes all the way down to Earth (Mt. Sinai) to do it. He's got some weird rules for it, but Moses and his people navigate it effectively. Sorry Luke talks a lot on this one, there's a lot of info dumping to get through (ten commandments and all that) and Alex and Nic don't carry their weight....