The Boundaries.me Podcast

In this highlight from the podcast, Dr. Cloud answers a frequently asked question about getting a parent to seek therapy. For people of faith, belief in the power of prayer can sometimes prevent them from seeking professional therapy. When someone says it's all just psycho-babble, the Bible says otherwise. We need help from others, for grieving, for addiction, for depression, and so much more, and...

In this highlight from the podcast, Dr. Cloud answers a written question: How do I get started changing emotionally unhealthy patterns? The first step to breaking an unhealthy pattern is recognizing and owning the need to change it. Following that, we need to become comfortable with it taking some time. Unhealthy patterns are not changed overnight. Healing takes time, and growth takes time. Changi...

In this highlight from the podcast Dr. Cloud dispels the myth of "self-help." All help comes from outside ourselves. We have to get out of our closed circle in order to break through and learn new things. But advice is cheap, and you can get it anywhere. You have to turn to people that have the skills, energy and or intelligence to really help you. Whatever gap you want to close in your life, try...

In this highlight from the show, Dr. Cloud talks about follow-through. We all commit ourselves to getting things done. Whether that's helping out a friend, or telling our spouse we'll do something, whatever it may be. When we fail to get those things done, we might think it's because we lacked follow-through. But is that it? A lack of follow-through implies that something could have been done but...

In this highlight from the podcast, Dr. Cloud talks about why relationships require togetherness and separateness. You might have attachment issues, or anxiety issues. You might interpret separateness as abandonment. You might be feeling controlled because you don't have enough personal time. Start by asking yourself if you're spending too much time together, or too much time apart. If you don't h...

In this highlight from the podcast, Dr. Cloud talks about how damaging triangulation can be in relationships. Triangulation is a common and often destructive problem in relationships in families, friendships, working relationships. When a conflict arises between two people, a third party is often brought in, unintentionally or intentionally, to ease the tension and pain. We're not talking about pr...

In this highlight from the show, Dr. Cloud talks about our automatic tendencies in conflicts. Our default tendencies aren't always so productive, fruitful or stellar. Sometimes they stem from conflicts or trauma and often do us a disservice. Dr. Cloud talks Dr. Karen Horney's way of breaking down these tendencies into categories. Our automatic tendencies fall into one of three modes: Moving Toward...

In this highlight Dr. Cloud talks about the path to finding peace. When we know we're right in a conflict, it'll often prevent us from making peace with the other party. How can we be bigger people and begin the process of reconciliation? You're not just doing it for their sake, you're doing it for yours too.   Got a narcissist in your life? Not sure what to do? Then you're in luck! We have an upc...

In this short highlight from the podcast, Dr. Cloud addresses the old saying that a person's character becomes their destiny. It's often the little things, the small decisions, that over time become our habits. These habits become patterns, which become our identity and character. Got a narcissist in your life? Not sure what to do? Then you're in luck! We have an upcoming workshop on Narcissism on...

In this highlight from from the podcast, Dr. Cloud talks about why we need to practice gratitude to lead our best life. Psychologists researching happiness have found that practicing gratitude is crucial for a happy and fulfilling life. So how can we do it more often and more meaningfully?   Got a narcissist in your life? Not sure what to do? Then you're in luck. We have an upcoming workshop on Na...

In this highlight from the podcast Dr. Cloud talks about how automatic thoughts are different from normal thinking. These automatic thoughts greatly affect our mood and outlook on life. So how can we avoid the spiral of negative thinking that they often cause?   Got a narcissist in your life? Not sure what to do? Then you're in luck. We have an upcoming workshop on Narcissism on June 28th at 5pm P...

In this short highlight from the podcast Dr. Cloud talks about the importance of getting back to what really matters in life. We often find ourselves stressed out about the wrong things. Reprioritizing and remembering what matters gets us back on track.   Got a narcissist in your life? Not sure what to do? Then you're in luck. We have an upcoming workshop on Narcissism on June 28th at 5pm Pacific!...

In this highlight from The Dr. Cloud Show, how can we become more comfortable with anger? Anger isn't correct in anything other than signaling that something is wrong. When we can see that it's a signal to investigate, rather than an instruction to respond we can react well.   Got a narcissist in your life? We have an upcoming workshop on Narcissism on June 28th at 5pm Pacific! Early bird pricing...

In this short from The Dr. Cloud Show, forgiveness does not require us trusting someone to give it. Forgiveness is free, trust is earned. We often get hung up thinking that forgiving someone means that we'll trust them again. They're not the same thing.   Got a narcissist in your life? We have an upcoming workshop on Narcissism on June 28th at 5pm Pacific! Early bird pricing is available for a lim...

In this short highlight from The Dr. Cloud Show, what can we do to break the cycle of guilt? There is self-condemnation that keeps us stuck, and there's remorse that can move us forward. The big delusion is that guilt keeps people in check, and it doesn't. It makes them act out more and keeps the cycle going. It doesn't help.   Dr. Cloud's upcoming workshop Mentally Healthy Faith is a two hour wor...

In this short from The Dr. Cloud Show, how do we relinquish a victimhood mentality and regain control over our lives? You have to re-own that you have the power of choice. You may have been powerless over what happened, but you can't internalize that powerlessness.   Dr. Cloud's upcoming workshop Mentally Healthy Faith is a two hour workshop covering how your mental health and your spiritual life...

In this short from The Dr. Cloud Show, overcoming obstacles can seem nearly impossible when we don't know what to do, or where to start. We often forget that we can learn new things we don't yet know. When we learn that we can learn is when we begin making progress. Share this with anyone that's stuck in a rut.   Dr. Cloud's upcoming workshop Mentally Healthy Faith is a two hour workshop covering...

In this short from The Dr. Cloud Show, why are you stuck repeating the same patterns, especially with difficult people in your life? How does confirmation bias keep us trapped in dysfunctional situations? What can you do to get out of it?   Dr. Cloud's upcoming workshop Mentally Healthy Faith is a two hour workshop covering how your mental health and your spiritual life intertwine. Find out more a...

Welcome to Shorts! These are quick podcasts that cover a subject we here on the team think is worth highlighting. This one is called Find the Misery and Make a Rule. Share it with anyone that's banging their head against the wall!   Dr. Cloud's upcoming workshop Mentally Healthy Faith is a two hour workshop covering how your mental health and your spiritual life intertwine. Discounted pricing is a...

On this special edition of the podcast we are shining the spotlight on Negative Thinking. Dr. Cloud shares his thoughts and insights on how to break negative thinking patterns and end the negative self talk and self criticism that we all fall prey to.   Jennifer is having difficulty letting go of negative thought patterns. How can she let go of regrets about her past that battle her positive feeli...

In this special edition of the podcast we're focusing the spotlight on anxiety.   Dr. Cloud talks about the difference between a gut instinct protecting us from danger, and anxiety preventing us from doing what we should.   Darlene has anxiety. What can she do to change her mental dialogue that leads her to anxiousness?   Erin needs help with her anxiety around her parents. They fight all the time...

In this special edition of the podcast we spotlight Dr. Cloud's insights on the subject of narcissism.   Dr. Cloud's introduction covers the over-attribution of narcissism, what it is, and what it is not.   Shelly is seeing signs of narcissism in a man she's dating. She want to know: Can narcissists change?   Hayley has a narcissistic mom. She's been "gray rocking" her and it's working, but her si...

On this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show:   Question: According to my spouse, I'm struggling with balancing priorities in my marriage. We both work and I spend my free time on the golf course. This seems to create conflict in our marriage. I only play on the weekend. How can I balance work, golf, and my marriage?   Question: Our daughter and her boyfriend have been dating for two years. They met in c...

On this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show:   Question: How do you separate being a helpmate to your spouse versus being an enabler? How can you let them own their responsibilities and help them with kindness and love?   Anne is in couples counseling. Her counselor wants her to validate some pretty crazy feelings that her husband is having. It makes her uncomfortable. How can she balance out participat...

On this episode of The Dr. Cloud Show:   Question: I am recovering from a bad relationship. I feel like I've come a long way but now I'm surprised by how much I miss him and the good times we had. Aside from therapy, what can I do for myself?   Lynn is feeling disconnected from her family and is learning about ambivalent attachment. What are Dr. Cloud's thoughts on ambivalent attachment?    Questi...