The Borderline Besties

Today we're: Discussing male gynecologists Getting to the bottom of why Michael can't pee in the ocean Judging people's choices on the beach ...and much more! Buckle up!

Today we're: Discussing our Facebook Marketplace gripes Talking about a recent pet psychic claim Speculating why John Mayer's head is so big ...and so much more! Buckle up!

Today we're: Discussing the "Catching Print" craze Judging Michael's overactive salivary glands Reminiscing on finding hair and bandaids in our food ...and much more! Buckle up!

Today we're: Reminiscing on some of Michael's most recent (and valid) public meltdowns Pretending we're waiting for a table at Olive Garden in 1998 Reflecting on Abbey's thyroid cancer diagnosis ...and much more! Buckle up!

Today we're asking the important hard-hitting questions: "What if there's no life after death?" "What if people were born old and died young?" "What if our buttcheeks had nipples?" Buckle up!

Batshit Banger: Abbey curated the perfect cart at Home Goods. What happens next you WON'T believe. Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…how getting older is affecting each of us. Our bones pop when we stand, we have turkey necks...it's not lookin' good folks. Dilemma: A woman's husband pooped his pants. She now wants nothing to do with him. Listen in to see what happened and...

Batshit Banger: Lauren experienced the worst massage of her life. You won't believe what happened after. Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…the absolute audacity other people (and us!) have. We could totally plumb an entire house... Dilemma: A new boyfriend's breath is just too stinky. Listen in to hear the borderline professional advice we offer up...

Batshit Banger: Michael watched someone get kicked out of a wedding last weekend... Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…Dreams! Bad ones, good ones, scary ones. Are dreams only in our mind or a portal to another dimension? Dilemma: Someone is super constipated and intelligently came to us for help. Listen in to hear the borderline professional advice we offer up...

Batshit Banger: Michael made a cake for a gathering and things went south fast... Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…More conspiracies! Dilemma: A girl meets her future monster-in-law. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...

Batshit Banger: Lauren tells us about a time she broke two arms in one week. Yes, you read that correctly. Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…FOOD: the good, the bad, and the delicious. Dilemma: A neighbor refuses to pick up his dog's poop. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...

Batshit Banger: Michael has an awkward mishap while trying to book a reservation at a restaurant... Meat & potatoes: Each of us went to see a psychic and today we're sharing our experiences! Dilemma: French onion soup creates a rift in this person's marriage. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up..

Batshit Banger: Abbey tells us about a time she went jet skiing and almost didn't make it back... Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…birthdays! (Happy birthday Michael!) We're reminiscing on birthdays growing up, memorable parties, and current celebrations. Dilemma: A husband is wanting to decorate, but ends up overstepping. Listen in to see what happened and the borderlin...

Batshit Banger: Why would you help yourself to someone's used towels?! This viewer sent in a really BOLD dilemma... Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…our astrological signs! Do they match our personalities? You be the judge... Dilemma: A man's nose whistle is ruining his marriage. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...

Batshit Banger: Michael tells us about a woman who used an airplane bathroom for the first time in her life. How do you not know how to lock it?! Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…Daily struggles. It's not easy being a millennial adult. Dilemma: A friend gives the WORST gifts. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...

Batshit Banger: Lauren reflects on an awkward moment where she really could've used a diaper... Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…Spring Cleaning! Out with the old and in with the new. Dilemma: A bride to be expected a little TOO much. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...

Batshit Banger: Michael recalls a time he got into it with a woman on Poop Patrol... Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…conspiracy theories. Don't forget your tinfoil hats! Dilemma: A woman's boyfriend never joins her when she wants a sweet treat. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...

Batshit Banger: Abbey and her friends are traveling abroad when a wallet goes missing. You won't believe who has it... Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…things that feel illegal but actually aren't. Dilemma: Someone joins a book club and ruins EVERYTHING. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...

Batshit Banger: Lauren tells us about a time she was left in the middle of a back road at night. Her story has a twist ending you won’t see coming! Meat & potatoes: Today we’re each bringing to the table…the most unhinged Google reviews you’ve ever heard. Dilemma: A nosy neighbor gets a little TOO comfortable. Listen in to see what happened and the borderline professional advice we offer up...

Today is a blast from the past. From thongs to Cosmic Brownies, we cover it all. But first…Michael starts us off with an absolute batshit banger you don’t wanna miss (he just wanted to be a hero!!). Once we calm our nervous systems down, we jump into the meat and potatoes - growing up in the 90s vs. growing up now. Remember those scrunchy shirts and 3D Doritos?? Man...what a simpler time. This epi...

Today we dive into our sporty pasts! Did you know Abbey and Lauren were like, so good at softball...?? But first…Abbey leads off with an absolute batshit banger you don’t wanna miss (her brother in law was only trying to find a plunger!!!). After we pick our jaws up off the floor, we jump into the meat and potatoes - sports. From our own sporty histories to professional poodle clipping, all the wa...

Today we dive into love: the good, the bad, and the awkward. But first…Lauren leads off with an absolute batshit banger you don’t wanna miss (dog parks can be a very unhinged place with very unhinged people...). After everyone's heart rate regulates, we jump into the meat and potatoes - love. From awkward dating stories, to how we all ended up with our significant others, we give you the inside sc...

Today we dive into some piping hot takes. But first…Abbey leads off with an absolute batshit banger you don’t wanna miss (shaving someone’s pubes always leaves the door open for batshittery to occur). After we pick our jaws back off the floor, we jump into the meat and potatoes - the hot takes. From airport behavior, to jeans, we rip into some really controversial topics. We end the episode with a...

The episode begins with all three catching up and a discussion about the full moon. The episode then transitions to something Borderline Batshit Michael experienced. The three hosts then dive into a deeper exploration of the emotional and physical effects of being a woman, including the luteal phase and its impact on behavior and mood. The conversation covers a range of topics including gender dif...

The conversation begins with the origin story of the podcast, detailing how the idea was conceived and the initial reactions of both Abbey and Michael. We talk about childhood memories, school experiences, and the impact of some traumatic experiences on our self-image. Wanna know our love languages and who would survive a zombie apocalypse? Press play! Takeaways Podcast origin story Investment in...