The Bible in Fewer Words

Judges is a violent book even by biblical standards. It begins by cutting off the thumbs and big toes of a captured king - and just gets worse from there. Here is the cycle that is repeated throughout the book: The people do evil in God's sight God sells them to their enemies The people cry out to God God sends them a deliverer (a judge) The deliverer slaughters those who bought the Israelites...

This episode covers the last 14 chapters of the book of Joshua. Here a some of the highlights: 20 kingdoms are massacred, 33 kings are killed, Caleb gives his daughter to whoever captures a city (his nephew Othniel is the lucky winner), A war is nearly fought over an altar named "Ed", And Joshua dies at the age of 110 The text and notes for this episode can be found here . If you enjoy t...

In this episode, God stops the sun from moving so that Joshua could get his killing done in the daylight. This is the passage that got Galileo in so much trouble with the Catholic Church. So it is of central importance in the history of science and religion. The text and notes for this episode can be found here . If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW .

Joshua does to the city of Ai as he did to the city of Jericho - he killed everyone in the city. Then he hung its king on a tree until evening. Then he enslaved the Gibeonites. The text and notes for this episode can be found here . If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW .

God told the Israelites not to touch the accursed thing during the Jericho massacre. But one man, Achan, couldn't resist. So when the Israelites tried to do to the town of Ai as they did to Jericho, they were not successful and 36 Israelites died. God commanded the Israelites to stone and burn to death Achan and his family. So that's what they did, and God wasn't angry anymore. The tex...

God tells Joshua to circumcise again the Israelite males at a place they called the hill of foreskins. After allowing a few days to recover from their circumcisions, Joshua and the Israelites slaughtered everyone in the city of Jericho (except Rahab): women, children, old people, and animals, with the edge of the sword. The text and notes for this episode can be found here . If you enjoy these pod...

Joshua's spies visit the prostitute Rahab's house, she lies to protect them, and the Israelites cross the Jordan River without getting their feet wet. The text and notes for this episode can be found here . If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW .

As you may recall, God told Moses that he wouldn't make it to the promised land because he hit the rock (instead of talking to it) back in Episode 62 . Well, Moses finally dies in chapter 34, the last chapter of Deuteronomy. But before he dies, he writes down and reads the entire law (the Torah or Pentateuch) and reads it to all of the Israelites. Then he teaches them a song that God wrote, which...

If you're trying to decide if you should follow all of God's commandments, this episode is for you. God gives you a simple choice: Obey him and things will go well for you; disobey him and he'll force you to eat your children - among many other things. If you decide to obey him, he'll circumcise your heart and the hearts of your children, and put all the curses that he threatened you with on your...

In this episode we learn that if a man re-marries a wife that he previously divorced, it is an abomination to God. And that a man must marry his dead brother's wife (or she will take off his shoe and spit in his face). But the most important thing that we learn is this: We must cut off a woman's hand if she touches the genitals of a man who is fighting with her husband. And we must do it without s...

In this episode we are joined by Objectively Dan, a host of the Atheist Community of Austin and the creator and host of Truth Wanted and Talk Heathen. Chapters 22 and 23 of Deuteronomy contain a strange mix of few good rules mixed with many horrendous ones. We are told to help our neighbors, while stoning to death women who are raped in the city or are found not to be virgins on their wedding nigh...

In this episode God and Moses lay down the law about holy wars, dead bodies, women captured in war, hated wives, and disobedient sons. It's important information that you won't find anywhere else. The text and notes for this episode can be found here . If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW .

This episode contains the passage that I use whenever a Jehovah's Witness, Mormon missionary, or evangelical Christian tries to convert me - Dt 13:6-10. It also has provides two tests for false prophets. Both tests ask whether what the prophet says comes true or not. If it comes true, then it's a false prophet who God sent to test your faith in him and you must kill him (13:1-5); if it doe...

In this episode, God provides instructions for committing genocide. If you run into any problems, don't worry. God will send hornets to help you. And if there are any giants, God will destroy them too. And although it may seem a bit contradictory to you, God commands you to love strangers, circumcise the foreskin of your heart, and don't do what you think is right. The text and notes for t...

Remember how in Numbers, God repeatedly told Moses that he wasn't going to make it to the promised land (because God was mad at him for hitting the rock instead of talking to it)? Well, here's a spoiler for you: Moses finally dies in Deuteronomy - but not until he gives a long, boring speech, which is called the Book of Deuteronomy. This episode covers the first part of his speech - Deuter...

Well, we've finally made it to the end of Numbers. In this episode two of the tribes of Israel decide not to go to the promised land, God tells the Israelites to kill all the Canaanites, we learn some more about revengers of blood and cities of refuge, and the daughters of Zelophehad are forced to marry their cousins. The text and notes for this episode can be found here . If you enjoy these p...

In this episode, we are joined by Seth Andrews, the host of The Thinking Atheist podcast and YouTube channel, to discuss one of the most appalling stories in the entire Bible. In it Moses commands his men to kill all the males and non-virgin females, but to keep the virgins alive for themselves. In his autobiography, Deconverted, Seth said that Numbers 31 was one of the parts of the Bible that led...

Our son, Philip Wells, joins us in this episode. He has helped us produce the podcast, as well as the SAB website and books. In the episode itself, there are several passages about women's rights - both good and bad. So we welcome you to listen to the podcast and meet our son, Philip! The text and notes for this episode can be found here . If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at...

When the Israelites commit whoredom with the daughters of Moab -- Moses, God, and Phinehas respond by hanging up dead bodies, committing mass murder, impaling a couple while they were having sex, and sending a plague that killed 24,000 people. All in one chapter of the Good Book. The text and notes for this episode can be found here . If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon....

After Balaam, God, the angel, and the donkey finally got things worked out in the last episode, Balaam arrives in Moab to curse the Israelites for King Balak. But things didn't go as planned. The text and notes for this episode can be found here . If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW .

This is a bizarre story - even by biblical standards. God changes his mind three times in a single chapter, while making a donkey talk to a man about an angel that only the donkey can see. It reminds me of the Mr. Ed show that I loved so much as a kid. The text and notes for this episode can be found here . If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW .

This is one of the Bible's most famous stories. The people complain about the lack of food and water, and God sends fiery serpents to bite them. Stories like this can only be found in the Bible. The text and notes for this episode can be found here . If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW .

Miriam dies, Moses sins, and Aaron dies naked. The text and notes for this episode can be found here . If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW .

In this episode, Aaron's rod blossoms and bears almonds. And the red heifer is presented - which many Christians and Jews believe is required for the rebuilding of the temple and the coming of the Messiah. The text and notes for this episode can be found here . If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW .

In this episode we learn about Korah - the Bible's freethought martyr. 250 men are burned to death in an incense-burning contest. God kills 14,700 in a plague. And we are told to put blue fringes on our garments. The text and notes for this episode can be found here . If you enjoy these podcasts, consider supporting us at Patreon.com/BFW .