The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

Live from the Svalbard Global Seed Vault, Trixie and Katya dodge reindeer traffic jams and a military parade led by a literal knighted Brigadier penguin named Sir Nils Olav, all in a valiant effort to bring you yet another episode of Scandinavian insanity. From a brief symposium on recreational pharmaceuticals to midwestern high school reunion etiquette to the questionable morals of restroom telep...

Live from the historic Djurgårdscirkus theater in Stockholm, join us as we dive headfirst into the frosty fjords of Sweden! From government-funded moose warning signs to the national obsession with fermented fish that smells like Satan’s humidifier, it’s a smörgåsbord of Scandinavian magic! The dolls dissect Sweden’s bizarre love affair with coffee breaks (yes, “fika” is mandatory), their legally...

The otherworldly icon herself, Tammie Brown, returns for another deliriously unhinged chat as the trio dives headfirst into the sky-high rents of Provincetown, the socio-political effects of pube-dying, and why Tammie was quite literally born for reality television. Expect cosmic wisdom, hard-boiled egg recipes, and at least one off-topic rant about Hugh Hefner's canine predilections. Planning a S...

The break-up was rough, but looking around the house, the realization hit me: enough time had passed. The house felt hollow, the memories mere echoes as the walls finally exhaled. It was time for a new beginning. A new dawn that can only commence at the ultimate church of eclectic, spirited commerce: World Market. I started small—replacing our antique China with vivid Moroccan flatware that seemed...

Ninntenndo America, Inc. Announces Two New Pokémon Arriving in 2026!: Trixioohh is a deranged Fairy/Plastic type Pokémon evolved from a cursed eyeliner found in the haunted Ross store on La Brea Avenue. With moves like Wig Whip, Slander Pulse, and her apocalyptic signature attack Nuclear Eyebrow Gluer, she crushes enemies into submission and leaves behind a sticky residue of THC gummies. Katya Zam...

Calling all señiores and señoritas! Book your tickets today and soar above Mexico City with Beyoncé’s Balloons: the only luxury hot air balloon experience where altitude meets attitude! Founded by Trixie and Katya after a prophetic Katya fever dream involving an Aztec King, a singing churro, and Ben Franklin's kite, float gracefully over ancient Mesoamerican pyramids, swirling Mexico City traffic,...

Have you looked in the mirror lately and thought to yourself, "Ewww..."? Well "Ewww" no longer, friends. Come on down to Bald’s Gym! Where abs are churned, not earned, and you sculpt your body not into a Greek god, but into a glistening, viscous tub of full-fat Greek yogurt. Let us show you how to go from stick to thick! Forget Mt. Olympus—our clients ascend to Mt. Dairy, oiled and trembling with...

Lords, Ladies, and Theydies! By royal decree and under the ever-watchful eye of our potentate and monarch King Emmanuel Podcast IV, Esq. — prepare thyselves for a presence most prodigious and profound! Now entering the Bald & Beautiful Grand Hall of the Dolls...we present to you: the Duchess of Deadpan, the Empress of Eccentricities, the undisputed Queen of Comedy, KRISTEN SCHAAL! Follow Kristen:...

If you need answers about your past life, we're here to help. As we gaze into the swirling mists of the unknown, we're seeing you. Not "you," but rather a past you. You're wearing a funny hat and white stockings. You're Henry Picklethorpe Wigglesworth IV, the Viscount of Golden Balls, Oxfordshire. Your estate, Hairy-Knob-upon-Fanny-Bottom, was famous for its 27 chimneys, haunted marmalade cellar,...

Do you love the idea of space travel, but hate the color blue and happen to be super gay? Introducing Pink Horizon! The universe’s first fabulously queer space exploration company. Final frontier? More like fierce frontier! Ooh there ain't no other way...to the cosmos, that is! Powered by science, pride, and just the right amount of interstellar trimix, we're gaying up the galaxy one phallus-shape...

From the new OUTtv series Wish You Were Queer, Michael Henry and Tim Murray regale Trixie and Katya with epic tales of suburban cruising permits, the epicurean superiority of Chili's, and a hook-up debate as old as time: to chomp or not to chomp. Don't miss the May 22nd premiere of Wish You Were Queer on OUTtv! Make progress towards a better financial future with Chime! Open your account in minute...

Greetings, you luminous kitchen sprites! Today, we’re embarking on a journey — not just of baking, but of awakening your lifestyle & fashion demon through the delicate magic of edible flowers. Because why just eat cake when you can also accessorize it? STEP 1: DON'T GET YOUR BEGONIAS IN A BUNCHTo avoid a trip to the E.R., avoid begonias and instead find manufactured spiritual enlightenment with fr...

In the depths of the city of angels, where devilish sinners prance, There live two drag queens, luring innocent souls to Gomorrah with their twisted dance. With rainbow flags flying, amidst the woke chaos no one can hear, The cries of good 'ol Americans drowning their sorrows in watery domestic beer. But down in the South, where mint juleps flow like water and the bayou air is pure, The laws of th...

Chunky or creamy, innie or outie, hot or cold, tall or short, spicy or mild, text or call, sweet or sour, clean or dirty, gentle or rough, baked or fried, wet or dry, pizza or pasta, confetti or glitter, loud or quiet, elbows or knees, sparkling or still! Whether life serves you lemons or lemonade, give yourself a kiss today, 'cuz honey you were born some way. Consider hosting your home on Airbnb...

As we enter the final lead-up to Easter Sunday, let us all reflect on the many blessings we have in our lives, including the magical marshmallow carbohydrate bombs: Peeps. This Lent, download CruciPeep from the App Store and join Peeps devotees from all across the globe in our special 2025 Bald & Beautiful CruciPeep Challenge! For the week leading up to Easter, make Peeps a part of every single me...

In a world where Amish tradition meets secular temptation, six Amish youths will be tested like never before. Watch as these impressionable young adults from Lancaster County are thrown into the outside world where their innocence doesn't stand a chance. From the barn to the bar, this ain't your Uncle Jedediah's Rumspringa. This Summer, Tee-El-Cee Network presents a journey from farm to filth. Sto...

Is your spouse sick of your night terrors involving narrow driveways and parallel parking? Does the thought of merging onto a freeway during rush hour make your perineum perspire? We here at The Bald Driving School are here to help. With dozens of days of driving experience, our two instructors will guide you through blinkers, beeps, blind spots, and barefoot driving techniques. The Bald Driving S...

Dearest Trixie and Katya fans: it has come to our attention that ye, the huddled malodorous masses of the proletariat who worship at the altar of our eternal magnificence, have come to the falsely-held belief that encountering us in a public space grants you the privilege of speaking to us, thereby forcing us to acknowledge your meager existence. In many cases, the most squalid amongst you have ri...

This Summer, visit beautiful Australia and experience Brisbane’s sights, sounds, and especially the smells! You can island-hop by helicopter, hike to hidden waterfalls, or relax at one of Brisbane's acclaimed new restaurants! Explore the city with your mate as you sip spritzes atop a rooftop bar, down pints at a craft brewery, or order cheeseburgers and fries with a side of automobile adhesive at...

In a historical socio-political context, "appeasement" is defined as a diplomatic negotiation between parties where one party makes political, material, or territorial concessions to the other party (the aggressor) with the express intention of avoiding conflict. While we will never admit that the blue set exemplified anything but unadulterated aesthetic perfection, we grew tired of seeing you hea...

Blueberry season is on its way and this Summer, prepare for that special vacation to Disneyland by clearing out your tired old mocktail recipes, your social calendar, and your stomach contents! This week we're making our signature non-alcoholic weight-loss aperitif, "Katya's Berry Bad Decision". It's a refreshing, subtly sweet concoction filled to the brim with blueberries, mint, and regret; all m...

From the makers of The Fast and the Furioustest and 2 Fast 2 Fastiest comes the highest-octane installment of the hit movie franchise ever! When convicted felon and secret drag queen Jonathan "Turbo Titties" Callahan (Trixie Mattel) tries to start a new life on the south side of Milwaukee, his obsession with street racing sets him on a collision course with the head of the Wisconsin criminal under...

I believe in one god, the Noodle Almighty, maker of marinara and meatballs, of all pasta visible and invisible, born of the semolina before all ages, fettuccine to fusilli, ravioli to rigatoni, bucatini to capellini, begotten, not overcooked, perfectly al dente, topped with parmesan for our salvation, he came down from heaven, and by the spirit of a stripper, touched his noodly appendage to her, t...

Do you ever glance over at your partner and feel like they're a million miles away, both physically and emotionally? While we all know that building a connection is hard work, it also requires vulnerability and a willingness to accept your partner as they truly are. But with your weekend already full of buying groceries for Jenny's scouting jamboree, carpooling to Michael's Taekwondo steamed veget...

The opposing forces of the yin and the yang are alive and well in 2025: Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni; TikTok and the Absence of TikTok; Emilia Perez and Good Taste. With the dizzying start to the year that has many of us stress-eating Thin Mints and Taco Bell while practicing scream-therapy techniques into our pillows, we'd like to devote this week's episode to helping you cast off 2025's disco...