The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

Dearest Katya. It is I, Silas P. Hoofman, the ghost of the antelope who currently hangs in a perpetual state of taxidermy above your bed. From my velveted perch upon this ignoble wall, I address you with a heart still pulsing with spectral ire, my musk perfumed with the rot of remembrance. In the hush of our shared candlelit hours, I have vowed that my whispers from beyond shall coil about your dr...

’Twas 12 days after Christmas, when we gathered in the valley, To record a podcast and reflect on our holiday glee. We had dashed through L.A., to a glittering A-List soirée, To eat pizza and sliders at Charlize Theron’s chalet. Trixie ran into Paul Feig, a multi-Emmy nominee, But congratulated him, instead, on a bit part from the 90s. Such awkwardness made her hungry, so she eyed the pizza pie, B...

On a balmy Los Angeles New Year’s Eve, as the city chimed with hope and regret, the Podcast Ghost of 2025 came gliding through the lamplit air to visit Trixie and Katya, its countenance stitched of hours spent listening to the pod in the netherworld. Awakened from their slumber, it showed them hours upon hours squandered on movie reviews and anecdotes and puns that curdled into cacophonic comedy,...

On a mild Los Angeles night as Christmas bells rang out into the darkness like gentle couture thunder, fashion model, curator, writer, musician, and actor, Daphne Guinness, descended into the velveteen ether of The Bald and the Beautiful podcast studio, a gothic angel wrapped in mystery and myth. Together they summoned a yuletide séance of aristocracy and absurdity, a baroque nativity of wigs and...

Today, as our fingers gently brushed the record button and we engaged in a long and thorough microphone check, we adjusted the levels for several minutes, thus ensuring the room was warm and ready and inviting us to continue. We settled into a steady rhythm, exploring the acoustics until we eventually found the mythical sweet spot, taking our time and allowing the tension to build as the red light...

Official Statement from the esteemed Lushious H. Massacr IV, Esq.: In a moment unprecedented in the annals of human cooperation, the international drag community proudly proclaims the dawn of lasting global concord, achieved through the harmonious power of the Astounding Portal of Unity: The Booty Hole. Let this precious orifice inspire nations to transcend petty grievances and embrace collective...

Get ready, America, because the new dance craze "Cream Nation" is sweeping the country faster than a soda fountain jerk slinging banana splits! From hip teenagers at the malt shop to squares cutting loose on the living room floor, everybody is jumping, jiving, and creaming their way into this sensational new dance! All you have to do is sway, shimmy, and jerk it like you’re stirring up the sweetes...

The dolls are joined by the prodigious patisserie of elegance and razor-sharp wit, the incomparable Kim Chi! Miss Chi who would like you know that public libraries stand as luminous beacons of civic generosity, offering complimentary tootsie rolls that taste like tiny victories of the working class as these huddled masses check out CDs to be burned into their iPod Classics, empowering each and eve...

Observational Cinematic Compulsion Disorder, or OCCD, is a common behavioral condition characterized by involuntary ocular fixation on a neighbor's in-flight audiovisual LCD display, even in the absence of accompanying auditory stimuli. Patients with OCCD exhibit vastly impaired concentration filtration, resulting in reflexive visual tracking of narrative cinematic sequences presented on adjacent...

Attention aspiring disc technicians! At Trixie’s Greater Milwaukee Center for Turntable Excellence, you’ll receive comprehensive instruction in cross-fader voltage modulation, cue-point bias alignment, and real-time pitch control using state-of-the-art Technics SL-1200MK2 direct-drive turntables. You’ll learn to dissect, equalize, and live-sequence Chappell Roan and Nicki Minaj masters through ree...

Do you dream of living a life of romance, success, and not being a social disgrace as you awkwardly tap at your keyboard like a Dickensian ghost? With 3 easy payments of $99.99, you can be the proud owner of the year's hottest CD-ROM from Katya Zamo's Shift Happens Typing School. You’ll go from 7 pathetic words per minute to a blistering 80+ WPM because if you don't, you will perish loveless and a...

In the twilight hush of a Burbank podcast studio, Trixie finds herself opposite the immortal Elvira, Mistress of the Dark: the legendary Cassandra Peterson! Upon the mist of their delightfully macabre conversation lays her infernal grimoire, "Elvira’s Cookbook from Hell", its pages reeking of brimstone and buttercream, whispering festive recipes that seem to writhe with unholy hunger. Through grin...

Friends, fans, and fellow seekers of the sublime; it is I, Trixie Mattel. Lend me your trembling hearts, for the hour of All Hallows' Eve draws nigh, and with it, my home shall rise from shadowed mediocrity into gothic immortality. Upon my modest parcel of earth shall stand a citadel of candlelight and cobweb, a mausoleum of wonder where even the moon itself will pause to admire its own reflection...

In alignment with Bald, LLC's ongoing corporate initiative to foster dialogue in the fields of glamour, aesthetics, and brand synergy, SVP of Novelty T-Shirts Katya Zamolodchikova is pleased to engage in a high-level dialogue with esteemed guest, the one and only Bosco. This executive board-sanctioned exchange will address key sectors including adhesive textile engineering, gender-affirming massag...

Hear ye, dear listeners! Mark the annals of human history, for contained herein is a tale so resplendent, so epoch-defining, that even the stars themselves lean closer to listen. On this fateful day, the cosmos bore witness to the advent of Katya’s long-foretold Pussycat; an event so cataclysmic in wonder that the entirety of the world's commerce, conflict, and creation alike was bowed into revere...

Irene The Alien travels across the cold infinities of space for a brief descent to converse with the singular earthling amongst earthlings: Katya. They discuss, with the tranquil gravity of deep space, the paradox of her early ejection from the Drag Race mothership, the chromatic splendor of dresses that gleam like auroras on a methane sea, and RuPaul’s rapt delight in immense mortal metamorphoses...

In this impeccably-coiffed episode, Trixie and Katya luxuriate in the cultural gravitas of wigs: those mercurial crowns of artifice, seduction, and spectacle. Act Two detonates with an opulent, penetrating dissection of Weapons, that brooding cinematic masterwork whose themes of menace and morality gleam as dazzlingly as a freshly-honed rapier. The final act pirouettes into both low and high philo...

In a candle-lit chamber filled with the velveted echoes of hazy remembrance, Trixie and Katya unveil the ultimate quadrilogy of reminiscence. Prepare thyselves for episodes 11 through 14 of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7; each memory a rare gem, cut and set with princely precision. Their every recollection unfurls like a brocaded tapestry of wit and wonder, where the haute couture of heartache is pop...

Latch your steamer trunk and press your travel slacks, as Trixie and Katya summon you for a grand tour through the jeweled harbors of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7, Episodes 9 and 10. Like discerning aesthetes adrift upon the sapphire sea, they linger in reverie over the operatic revels of the Divine Comedy challenge, then recline in first-class velvet banquettes to consider, with equal parts mirth...

The stars have spoken and celestial forces have aligned as Trixie and Katya gaze backwards in time through the planetary veil to Episode 8 of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7. According to famed Houston Chronicle astrologer and self-proclaimed inventor of tangerines Madame Claire Voyánt, this was the episode where destiny shuffled the queens into roles both triumphant and tragic, their fates written in...

A storm of lace bodices and shattered dreams erupts as Trixie and Katya revisit Episodes 5, 6, and 7, where the workroom transformed into a bloody battlefield and destiny itself teetered on stilettos. Katya, radiant yet tormented, recalls the soaring ecstasy of comedic victory before plunging into the abyss of crippling self-doubt, her every glance a silent scream for redemption. With the dual cru...

This evening's Auberge du Bald prix fixe menu opens with a velvety consommé of critiques simmered to perfection as Trixie and Katya revisit Episode 4 of Season 7, ladling out a slightly tart first course of humiliation and an amuse-bouche of sweet nostalgia. Before the main course, light humiliation is flambéed tableside, its acrid smoke mingling delightfully with champagne bubbles of self-depreca...

Today’s forecast predicts a heavy downpour of sewing machine mishaps, zipper malfunctions, and a strong chance of Ru's outsize expectations. Expect gusts of flimsy excuses sweeping in from the west, as poorly constructed gowns struggle to hold their structural integrity. A cold front of judges’ side-eye will move in by runway time, dropping both temperatures and morale. Listeners should prepare fo...

On the latest Drag Race Season 7 reminiscence, Trixie and Katya relive the transformative chaos of Episode 2, where challenges were confusing, tensions ran high, and eyebrows ran even higher. With unfiltered vulnerability, they unpack the emotional exfoliation brought about by both success and failure, as well as the subtle art of absolutely destroying a group acting challenge before celebrating w...

You are cordially invited to the first Drag Race Season 7 Reminiscence, a decadent audio dégustation featuring Miss Trixie Mattel and Madame Katya Zamolodchikova. The first course is an amuse-bouche of backstage trauma, served slightly chilled with a reduction of self-doubt and chicken coop wigs, as the dolls recount their entrances in RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 7. For the main course: tender morse...