The Ax Files UNLOCKED

Lost in deep space, the kids quickly find themselves embedded in another Lord of the Rings reference! And also intergalactic war, you know how it is. Ax's mission report continues as war rages over Leera and also like three different people tell him he's awful at lying. It's kinda brutal, ngl. Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about This Guy Doesn't Know What Winning Means, I Can't Carry the R...

In the first one of these books for a while that actually respects the framing device of the kids writing them for future people to read, Ax is here to give us an after action report on a military disaster! And also steal so much food he almost dies! Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Bun Madness, We're in the NCR Apparently , and The Sextuple Bird! We kind of gave up on twitter! You can...

Rachel is having a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day. I mean we kind of did also since we had to rerecord this, but let's be real, she's got it worse, what with the falling directly into the yeerk pool and all. Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Alcoholic Sauce, Let's Joe Ahead, and War Crimes But Silly! We kind of gave up on twitter! You can find us on bluesky @usweirdoscast.bsky...

The day has finally arrived: we get to talk about what Gleeting is. Also we just get to say the word Gleet a lot, which is pretty great. And I guess there's thing with the ethics of potentially scarring hundreds of people for life? but that's less important Gleet Gleet Gleet. Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Diggy Diggy Mole, Tobias Would Die For You, and Oatmeal: Not Even Once! We kind...

With a new book comes new ethical questions, like...is chemical warfare okay if you're a thirteen year old? Probably not, tbh! Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Planet Hollywood Horror Stories, Guest Starring Ah-nuld, and Breast Expansion Barbie! We kind of gave up on twitter! You can find us on bluesky @usweirdoscast.bsky.social. Come, abandon the HellPit with us! You can also email us...

It only took a quarter of the series, but Jake is finally starting to understand the power ot terrible and gratuitious violence! Surely this will have no long-term consequences! Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Marco-ca Magica, Baking That Boy, and The Incredible Bulletface! We kind of gave up on twitter! You can find us on bluesky @usweirdoscast.bsky.social. Come, abandon the HellPit w...

If anything is weird about this ep, let me know, my mouse died and I had to edit it with my LAPTOP TRACKPAD If there ISN'T anything weird about this episode, BEWARE MY POWER. Anyway the Animorphs learn about the evils of capitalism (except Marco) and drive Jake even further into despair when they take on the second-richest man in the world! They're literally fighting the guy who invented the inter...

It's time to start a new cycle, and so we start the book that gives us our most interesting Jake so far! The morals of war are about to be twisted as the kids find an evil AOL chatroom! Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Security Theatre of the Mind, Toilet Humor, and Rhinos From Heaven! We kind of gave up on twitter! You can find us on bluesky @usweirdoscast.bsky.social. Come, abandon th...

It's time for the last chapter of the Sharco adventure! Surely nothing bad will happen. Marco can only hold so much trauma, after all. Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about One Glass Bone, The Four Straw Situation, and The ClaaaaAAAAaaaaw! WARNING: This episode largely revolves around non-consensual brain surgery and the implantation of foreign objects, as well as our medical history revolvi...

It's time for an aquatic adventure! There's something at the bottom of the sea, and only the Animorphs can find out what! I sure hope none of them are afraid of water! Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about LAVA SPIDERS, We All Live in a Transparent Aluminum Submarine, and Shark Brains! We kind of gave up on twitter! You can find us on bluesky @usweirdoscast.bsky.social. Come, abandon the Hel...

It's time for Marco part three and boooooooy howdy is this kid full of trauma! Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Bird Facts, the Sharks and the Jets, and Tobias' Old Time Aquatic Hawk Rodeo! Check out our patreon at patreon.com/usweirdoscast, where you can get the advance feed of this very show-subscribers get to listen three months early! We also offer other stuff, like weekly let's pla...

Hey, so I dunno what happened to my edit queue? But this episode managed to get out of order over on our patreon feed, which means that last week you missed the middle part of the book and skipped straight to the end! This is a reupload of part 3 of The Unknown just to make sure the feed plays in the correct order. Sorry about that! Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about The TALK, My Brother,...

This episode Cassie starts to feel like she's surrounded by horses, horses, horses horses horses! It's time to invade the Zone, but first, a day at the races! Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Solid Gold Horses, Naruto Running into Zone 91, and They're Putting Chemicals in the Water to Turn the Freaking Horses Blue! Check out our patreon at patreon.com/usweirdoscast, where you can get th...

It's time to take a spin out on the range, as Cassie and Rachel head out to the Dry Lands fer a good ol' horses and guns adventure. I mean it isn't *really* an old west book, but it's a horse book in the desert, you know? Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Cowboys vs Aliens, Conspiracy Evolution, and Where Nevada Is! As a brief note, in talking about the history of this book Nobody discus...

Okay! Once more, with feeling! Somehow my files got all screwed up, so last week when I thought I was filling in the missing episode 42, I ACTUALLY just put out the normal episode 45. So here's 42 for reals this time! Tobias is faced with a hard choice as the Ellimist's mission comes to an end. Is he to remain genderqueer but for hawks? or does he have a chance to go back? Join Kate, Vivian, and N...

With their new Hork-bajir friend in tow, it's time for the animorphs to try their hand at some shenaniganery! Now they have TWO species to save! Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Taxxon Throats, My Waife, and Tobias Gets to Be Involved This Time! Check out our patreon at patreon.com/usweirdoscast, where you can get the advance feed of this very show-subscribers get to listen three months...

Tobias is back, and there's a chase afoot! A hork-bajir races through the forest, pursued by...yeerks? Join Vivian, Kate, and Nobody to talk about Keeping Secrets From Your Friends, Trixie From Speed Racer, and the Good Ol' Yeerks club! Check out our patreon at patreon.com/usweirdoscast, where you can get the advance feed of this very show-subscribers get to listen three months early! We also offe...

It's time to close out probably the weirdest book we've covered so far, and what better way to do that than with an enormous monster fight! Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Possibly Jack Hanna, What Does A Buffalo Look Like, and Attempting to Devour Johnathan Taylor Thomas! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In our second portion of The Reaction, Rachel learns that she has a very goofy allergy that doesn't make a ton of sense, and proceeds to lie to EVERYONE about it! Join Vivian, Kate, and Nobody to talk about An Extended Discussion of Crocodilian Taxonomy, Fish With Spears, and Betraying Humanity for Fun and Profit! Check out our patreon at patreon.com/usweirdoscast, where you can get the advance fe...

Welcome back to new book day! It's Rachel's third bite at the apple, and for this one we're diving into the nonsense! Featuring magical crocodile action! Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Nice is Neat, Tim Allen Noise, and Jaguars Is Angels! Check out our patreon at patreon.com/usweirdoscast, where you can get the advance feed of this very show-subscribers get to listen three months earl...

It's time to bring the time travel adventure to a close, with a raucous wail and a new count established. Hope you like some sci-fi nonsense! Join Kate, Vivian, and Patch to talk about Biollante Lives, Communalism in South American Monkey Colonies, and The Naked Blood Queen! Check out our patreon at patreon.com/usweirdoscast, where you can get the advance feed of this very show-subscribers get to...

This ep is a little shorter than normal because this book has a weird number of chapters, but that doesn't mean the contents are any less strange! Join Kate, Vivian, and Patch to talk about Literally Out of Pocket, The Sexiest Monkey, and Schrodinger's Poison Tipped Spear! Check out our patreon at patreon.com/usweirdoscast, where you can get the advance feed of this very show-subscribers get to li...

Book eleven opens with some timestamps, for some reason! Jake is having weird visions, but what's going on in the local grocery store? Is he fit to be in the field? Join Kate, Vivian, and Patch to talk about Square Dance Requiem, the Weast Coast, and the Animorph Chain of Command! Check out our patreon at patreon.com/usweirdoscast, where you can get the advance feed of this very show-subscribers g...

In the last segment of The Android, it's time for Erek to get his hands (paws?) dirty. The pemalite crystal is threatened, but is saving it worth the cost? Is taking away a culture's identity worth recovering yet another weapon? Marco sure thinks so! Join Vivian, Kate, and Patch to talk about If It Sucks Just Wipe Your Memory, That's Not How Morphing Works, and That's Gonna Be Back In Like Three D...

Ancient Aliens! The Secrets of History Revealed! Also a dude who talks too much about how he knew Shakespeare! In the second part of The Android, we're gonna get introduced to some wild concepts, and just *way* too many dogs! Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about It's All About Family, See?, The Android Pooper Scooper Brigade, and Dear God, What Did They Do To Those Wolves??? Check out our p...