The Ax Files UNLOCKED

Like for real though, what are we even doing here? Have the animorphs fallen so low they can't even fight a bunch of bug-sized weirdos? Yes, absolutely, and it's GREAT. Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Textile Madness, Lessons in Submission, and That's a Butthole for Sure! If you'd like to get a head start on this show, you can find us at patreon.com/usweirdoscast, where you can listen...

Having finished the moving expository monologue that was the Andalite Chronicles, it's time now to dive into some absolute wacky nonsense. Do you need a break from the Horrors? K.A. sure does! Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Shrinky-Dink Blinky Blink, Promoted to Air Taxi, and The Accidental Economist! If you'd like to get a head start on this show, you can find us at patreon.com/uswei...

Well, that's it folks, end of an era. Elfangor is finally done expositing at us, it only took five weeks to get through the last three seconds of his life. Quite the gift that guy has! Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Bill Windows, Time Skip Problems, and Kids These Days! If you'd like to get a head start on this show, you can find us at patreon.com/usweirdoscast, where you can listen t...

Trapped in a horrific nightmare world where McDonalds exists and libraries don't, Elfangor and Loren learn that the Time Matrix doesn't seem very time travelly actually? More of an alternate reality machine, really. Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about KA Loves Hobbits, Space Ooblies, and Too Much Talk About Mortrons! f you'd like to get a head start on this show, you can find us at patreo...

Elfangor's no-good very bad day continues as he goes to meet a mountain that yells at him! Sheesh, talk about a bad first impression. Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Cybertruck Archaeology, Worms go THOOMP, and Andalite UWU Eyes! f you'd like to get a head start on this show, you can find us at patreon.com/usweirdoscast, where you can listen to episodes 13 weeks before they release on...

Sorry for the delay on this one, folks! Nobody had some major computer issues that kept them from editing for a while, but we are back in the game! Also Elfangor is having one of the worst days of his life, just truly miserable. Please try to ignore all the times we call Elfangor "Ax" also, we clearly don't have the vibe of this book down yet. Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Post Traum...

Hooooooooly smokes y'all. We've been waiting for this one for a WHILE, in a couple ways! We broke release order pretty hard in order to wait until we knew the secret this book spoils, so lets get into one of the wildest books in the series, shall we? Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Getting Outranked By Wesley Crusher, The Skrit-Na Health Plan, and Everyone in Space is Naked! f you'd li...

As Tobias' book comes to a close, it's time to reveal a secret...a secret people reading in release order knew over a year ago. Listen I don't know why they did it this way, but here we are. With the mystery of his family finally revealed it's time to make a decision...once and for all. Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Superfella, Tobias Lives by the Blade, and Now That's What I Call Ha...

The hunt for Bek is only heating up, and as if that weren't bad enough Tobias still can't have dinner? Somebody get this guy a mouse! Oh plus he's thinking about his human cousin and how Rachel saw him doing something embarrassing and oh dang this kid has a lot going on right now. Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Outer Space Study Buddies, Blade Nerves, and Learn to Mine Asteroids! If y...

You always know it's going to be a good time when you start a Tobias book. By which I mean Tobias is going to have a terrible time! And also possibly a family he didn't know about before? Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Hork-Bajir Valley Ranch Dressing, The Flesh Should Be Inside, and A Nice Refreshing Dr. Brown! If you'd like to get a head start on this show, you can find us at patreo...

It's time for the final episode of the Hork-Bajir Chronicles, and the close of Aldrea and Dak's story. Also we missed pretty much the entire war for Planet Hork-Bajir? Timeskips, bay-bee! Oh, and Andalites are imperialist dicks, as usual. Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Red is the Pain Color, Squatters but with Spikes, and That's a Lotta Goth! If you'd like to get a head start on this...

Aldrea and Dak's adventure reaches a fever pitch, as they discover the Ancient Secret of Planet Hork-Bajir! Also how flawed Andalite naming schemes are, because if they name the planet after it's sentient species, it should really be Planet Hork-Bajir And Also Arn. Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Asteroid Physics, That's Not How Planets Work, and Realizing Your GF is a Colonizer! If yo...

So I dunno why this book even needs to be here, things seem pretty much fine and good on Planet Hork-Bajir. The Yeerks barely even know how to do orbital bombardment! Oh, wait, uh oh... Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Bear Band Jamboree, Wait, You Can Do Violence?, and Seerow ACTUALLY Didn't Do Anything Wrong! If you'd like to get a head start on this show, you can find us at patreon.c...

So this is one of the most-remembered books from the Animorphs series, one of the most popular by far and an intense diversion from the main story to show us how the war started in the first place. But all Barafin wants is to play on his computer. Relatable! Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about A Treatise on the Variability of Acid Rain, Seerow Did One Tiny Thing A Little Bit Wrong, Men in...

Well, here we are. The end of an era. And by era i mean roughly the first 30% of Animorphs! Also these books about David, now we'll have to find something else to be cryptic about. I'm definitely not downplaying this because of the agonizing self-examination in this book, don't worry about my little deflections. Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Rampant Justification, Amogus Cousin Editi...

So you know how there was that secret meeting with the President and like five other world leaders and one of them is already a controller but we don't know which one? Yeah we're just gonna backburner that, we got an evil child to deal with. Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Low-Cholesterol Morphing, The Other Type of Brain Worms, and How Did He Get an Orca??? Wanna hang out? You can fin...

As the Asshole Trilogy moves into its final act, it's time for a touch of the old hyperviolence! Did you ever want to know who would win between a lion and Rachel? Join Kate, Nobody, and Vivian to talk about That's Some Weasel Talk, Hardcoreparkour, and A Hospital for Tigers! Wanna hang out? You can find us on bluesky @usweirdoscast.bsky.social! You can also email us at usweirdoscast@gmail.com! Vi...

A line has been crossed, friends, and it's not one you ever want to cross. David is well and truly the enemy of the Animorphs now, and they have no idea how to defend against the techniques they've been using for years! Plus, like...you can't just cry in front of Visser Three, not cool man. Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Double Holograms All the Way, Twobias, and Bird Math! Wanna hang...

Okay look. I GET that it was deeply unfair of us to go on hiatus right before episode 69 dropped but that's just the way the motherboard crumbles sometimes, you know? Anyway. Niiiiiiice. Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Sixty-Nine Dudes!, Female-Presenting Legs, and Liefeld Lions! Wanna hang out? You can find us on bluesky @usweirdoscast.bsky.social! You can also email us at usweirdosca...

Okay so I KNOW that new kid seemed super sus when Marco was telling the story, but Jake probably has a more even keel about all this, right? Right? Uh-oh. Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about The World Blew Up, Everyone's Favorite Character, and Chemicals Out the Wazoo! Wanna hang out? You can find us on bluesky @usweirdoscast.bsky.social! You can also email us at usweirdoscast@gmail.com! V...

This is probably fine! You really shouldn't dangle an evil carrot in front of someone's nose if you want them to not eat it, right? Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Spy Dads 3D, He's Helping! Sort Of!, and The Verb Form of Dolphin! Wanna hang out? You can find us on bluesky @usweirdoscast.bsky.social! You can also email us at usweirdoscast@gmail.com! Vivian can be found at @oblivivian o...

Have you ever noticed how off-the-rails things get when Ax and Marco get together? You sure are about to. Our look into David's home life continues with a bang! Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about We Don't Know How Nineties Computers Work, Sneks are Cute, and Good Old Federal Incompetence! Wanna hang out? You can find us on bluesky @usweirdoscast.bsky.social! You can also email us at uswei...

After all these weeks, it's finally here...the Asshole Trilogy begins with a new kid in town, and some pure Looney Tunes nonsense! Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Doctor Themhattan, Kids With Guns, and Disregard FEEmales, Acquire Profit! Wanna hang out? You can find us on bluesky @usweirdoscast.bsky.social! You can also email us at usweirdoscast@gmail.com! Vivian can be found at @obliv...

We've come to the conclusion of one of the quieter and more thoughtful Animorphs books, which means it's time for the kids to decide whether they're going to murder an even younger kid! Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Viv is Too Old for Puns, Would You Still Love Me If I Was a Worm, and I Said Godzilla Makes You Feel Things Dangit! Wanna hang out? You can find us on bluesky @usweirdosc...

Okay but seriously who put this leopard here, they're not native to the forests of California. Join Kate, Vivian, and Nobody to talk about Murderface Skywalker, Leopard-Based Problem Solving, and The Platonic Ideal of Cassie Books! Wanna hang out? You can find us on bluesky @usweirdoscast.bsky.social! You can also email us at usweirdoscast@gmail.com! Vivian can be found at @oblivivian on bluesky!...