The Attic Breakdown

Down volcanoes, wives like glass, Listerine damage, and attic foreskin. Angela’s secret football life, double knot fury, shoeless and braless, and also spontaneous blankets. 

Limited commitment, award fails, tavern tales, and you can't escape the heat. Killer "F's", a pressured performance, and also how do volcanoes even work?

An overdue apology, oral erosions, flammable baby pants, and the Warlocks of Walmart. A boozy Christmas, bothersome hands, overrated coconut balls, and also the answer is “no”.

Slippery Solo cups, a double bunny life, sexy chapel vibe, and Heather’s top hat. Trial by social media, chocolate monkey butts, Charlie’s finger, and also please quit stimulating your nipples.

Sister-grandma, hairy raisins, RIP Tommy, and oozing personalities. Denim spleen injuries, ghostly scratches, the implosion of Ye, and also fighter pilots nailing car washes.

Hipster cyclists, hot meals, and competent handymen. Exploring regrets, a lingering handshake, the real MVP, and also the one glass of wine guide to parenting.

Gratuity coercion, tequila misgivings, time changing babies, and podcast cash flow. Scary house discoveries, Jordan's unexpected kindness, privileged starvation, and also how to retract your material.

Rogue hairs, glossy pages, dry tips and capillary quit. Kidney stone misconceptions, Top 10 Tay Tay, primal rotisserie, and also holding hands with your foot.

Feet that gave up, basic LASIK, and emoji etiquette. dismissive “k’s”, period fights, random bleeding, and also agreeable arguing. 

We understand letters, Vegas payback (smote my God), barnacles with friends, and Angela clotheslines herself. Apocalypse training, Venmoing outer space, Jordan’s rhymes, and also amputees on railways.

Heather’s beef with chicken, energy drink evolution, and inky commitments. Triggery baggage and the love yucks, a puzzling spring break, and also transportation menstruations.

Popper face cream, lazy-mouthed people, call me Claire, and accosting Adele. Uzbekistani Chickpeas, Eataly in Italy, revisiting the fair, and also congregating rabbits.

Refreshing pours, celebrity SAT's, swearing slip ups, and a fevered Santa inquiry. Disappearing noses, Octopus heart, and also doing bad bathroom.

Awkward aisle encounters, wing mom, and a bone to pick with RDJ. Reckless podcasting, inky tantrums, a nude satellite attack, and also sinful butts. 

Crock pot evolution, salmon chunks, Matthew Gravy, and maxed out followers. Daddysitters, floating freezers, the glad game, and also mind your own business.

Shirtless septuagenarians, security tissues, and bedtime blanket watching. Backwards Branson, species vs. feces, Jordan gets re-born, and also is lewd nude?

Henry's magical paintbrush, canine moisture strips, dangling teets, and the Santa shimmy. Soothing egg cartons, cobras and tigers, and also our successful striving.

Joined at the hip, lazy pumpers, the honor system, and missing waiting. Renouncing the Mayflower, flying monkeys, justice comeuppance, and also a brunchy hangover.

Topography struggles, sparkling water, and 500 f-bombs, Heather’s local bar, and the Anniversary blazer. The gospel of Hamilton, homeless not toothless, Breaking Bad, and also half opened bottles.

Party pressure, doubting Depp, MPG stats, and 2-footed drivers. Popped sequins, laughing away the pox, and also Angela’s sensual page turning.

Road trip roadblocks, tire pressure trials, and who names their kid Claude? Melatonin meltdown, mattress armholes, contact toss, and also thirsty pheromones.

Murderous mammals, voracious vultures, off-roading coolers and 2-inch articles. Moldy butts, paper crop tops, fashionable armpits, and also an inconvenient flight.

Bike short announcement, bootleg lenses, stealing tow trucks, and our famous neighbor. Overly-tight swaddles, a graveyard of facts, dum-dum boats, and also galactic screen savers.

The nature of a biscuit, parenting peak, compromised soup scoops, and unexpected catfish bait. Name that model, the right to be cranky, and also Heather’s senior center letdown.

Revenge elephants, sophisticated VCRs, the brink of insanity, and Heather doesn’t ever think about Hawaii.  Environmental shrinkage, farewell tomatoes, plants vs. humans, and also where on earth is the cloud?