The Answer’s a Lemon

The Answer’s a Lemon

Comedy EN ↓ 77 episodes

The smartest icebreakers from the dumbest dudes. Tired of boring small talk that all plays out the same? Impress your next date/your coworkers during a meeting/strangers in the Starbucks line with questions certain to get attention and some laughs. Featuring the unique, labyrinthine mind of the God of Odd (Mr. Conor Fitz [PsyD]) and the easily excitable, humble host (Evan Ciejka) these two friends show you just how easy it is to strike up a conversation that’s memorable, to say the least. New episodes every other Tuesday.

Author

The Answer’s a Lemon

Category

Comedy

Podcast website

www.theanswerisalemon.com

Latest episode

Jul 7, 2026

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Episodes

Episode 27: A Tango with the Tipsy Trickster 06.08.2024

How do you celebrate the 4th of July? We do it by talking about which president we'd punch in the face.   Questions asked: What song do you listen to just for the opening? Who was your first media-based crush? Pokemon is a well that springs eternal. What gym are you running? Typing and badge name. (Bonus: Describe your team and gimmick.) You're a cat burglar. What are you famous for nabbing?   Sen...

Episode 26: Evan Can't Do It Alone 23.07.2024

Takin' a break this week. Love ya, bye!   Send us your weird questions: lemonanswers@gmail.com   Chill with us on social: Instagram: @theanswerisalemon TikTok: @theanswerisalemon Facebook: @theanswerisalemon YouTube: @theanswerisalemon BlueSky: @theanswerisalemon   Website: theanswerisalemon.com   Artwork by @Melindaington   Thanks for listening. Y'all rock!

Episode 25: Punching Presidents (feat. Erin) 09.07.2024

How do you celebrate the 4th of July? We do it by talking about which president we'd punch in the face.   Questions asked: Which past president would you punch in the face and why? Go-to mixed drink for your poolside summer bash? The ultimate Jimmy Buffett memorial concert opens its curtains. What song are you hoping to kick off the concert? The bald eagle's retiring. Which animal are you choosing...

Episode 24: The World's Least Stealable $20 Bill 25.06.2024

Happy Pride. Buy a knife.   Questions asked: What tattoo will you regret not getting? What's the next step in medical science you WANT to happen? If you were to start a road-side attraction, what would it be? What's a concert you are unable to attend, but would absolutely love to see?   Send us your weird questions: lemonanswers@gmail.com   Chill with us on social: Instagram: @theanswerisalemon Ti...

Episode 23: Kirby's Got Some New Power-Ups 11.06.2024

"What would Kirby steal from an arcade" is the real question.   Questions asked: If Kirby swallowed you, what power would he obtain? What's a mild super power you'd have? You are the size of a pencil and trapped in a blender. How do you get out? You have the means -- What cabinet do you steal from an arcade?   Send us your weird questions: lemonanswers@gmail.com   Chill with us on social: Instagra...

Episode 22: Evan's a Gaslighting Shill 28.05.2024

We're not even sponsored.   Questions asked: If you were a Messianic figure, what would be transfigured into you? What is your favorite mythical creature? Non-commercially, what would you put on a billboard? What album/song would you like to listen to for the first time?   Send us your weird questions: lemonanswers@gmail.com   Chill with us on social: Instagram: @theanswerisalemon TikTok: @theansw...

Episode 21: Creamed Spinach and Cataclysmic Crustaceans 14.05.2024

It sure is a tour of all time.   Questions asked: If you were a toy, what are your 3 pull-ring phrases? You know how some idioms have their meaning changed because people don't use the whole thing or get it wrong? What's your favorite wrong idiom? What classic movie monster would you want to befriend? What's a strange flavor combination that actually works?   Send us your weird questions: lemonans...

Episode 20: Maybe This Was a Bad Question 30.04.2024

It sure is a tour of all time.   Questions asked: You're a fighting game character. What are the names of your special moves? You can be a tour guide of any place, real or fantastical. Where are you? How many flower petals are too many? Like James Bonds's License to Kill. What's your License to (blank)?   Send us your weird questions: lemonanswers@gmail.com   Chill with us on social: Instagram: @t...

Episode 19: I Wanna Talk about Furries 16.04.2024

Look me dead in the eye and tell me "Rainbow Disco Glitter Party Bat" isn't entirely rad.   Questions asked: What's your fursona? You work at the zoo. What animals do you take care of? You're a mob in an RPG. What loot are you dropping? What's your least favorite office jargon?   Send us your weird questions: lemonanswers@gmail.com   Chill with us on social: Instagram: @theanswerisalemon TikTok: @...

Episode 18: Fetish Hentai with Clothes 02.04.2024

Evan's back was getting to him in this one.   Questions asked: TBU   Send us your weird questions: lemonanswers@gmail.com   Chill with us on social: Instagram: @theanswerisalemon TikTok: @theanswerisalemon Facebook: @theanswerisalemon YouTube: @theanswerisalemon BlueSky: @theanswerisalemon   Website: theanswerisalemon.com   Artwork by @Melindaington   Thanks for listening. Y'all rock!

Episode 17: The Food Fight 19.03.2024

Good God, the boys were hungry in this one.   Questions asked: What kind of "I know a guy" guy do you want to be? What fast food dealio do you want to make a comeback? Which food mascot would win in a battle royale against the other brand personae? Gordon Ramsey kicks your door in and demands a meal. How are you appeasing him?   Send us your weird questions: lemonanswers@gmail.com   Chill with us...

Episode 16: Clifford the Big, Red Kaiju 05.03.2024

Just the boys this episode. They talk about all the classics: kaiju, weird bodies, Pokemon. Y'know.   Questions asked: What's your favorite kaiju? What would be the name and recipe for a cocktail created by you? If you could do any carnival sideshow routine, what would it be? Which Pokemon do you want be real and be your little (?) buddy?   Send us your weird questions: lemonanswers@gmail.com   Ch...

Episode 15: A Brunch with Death (feat. Sofìa) 20.02.2024

Sof ì a really elevates this episode. Conor and Evan bring it right back down.   Questions asked: What is your favorite song not in your native language? What is the least traditionally masculine thing about you? (Bonus: What is the least traditionally feminine thing about you?) Would you rather to perfectly understand your pets or to have your pets perfectly understand you? What animal, creature,...

We Win Conor Over inThis Episode (feat. Erin) 06.02.2024

Are you feeling the love? Or at least whatever we're talking about?   Questions asked: You are now Cupid. What are you shooting at your love struck fools? How can someone win you over? What are you leaving on the doorstep of your enemy? What's the best love song? What's something small, but endearing about your partner?   Send us your weird questions: lemonanswers@gmail.com   Chill with us on soci...

The JNCO Singularity (feat. Leah) 23.01.2024

Hoo boy, do we hop aboard the Nightmare Skool Bus in this one, folks!   Questions asked: How do you feel about liminal spaces? What fashion item/trend do you want to make a return with gusto? If you could make a trading card game out of any subject, what would it be? What do you want to happen to your body when you die?   Send us your weird questions: lemonanswers@gmail.com   Chill with us on soci...

Lucifer Evolved 09.01.2024

We dip into the past and it just goes to show: we've always loved weird questions.   Questions asked: You can have any animal, any size, as a pet. what is it? If you were the god of something, what would you want it to be? What's the worst thing you've ever eaten? Who is your favorite mononymn?   Send us your weird questions: lemonanswers@gmail.com   Chill with us on social: Instagram: @theansweri...

Who Wants to Be A JoJo’s Stand User? 26.12.2023

There's weird energy on this one, folks! Luckily, your God of Odd and Humble Host translate it into humor.   Questions asked: If you had to live out the rest of your existence as a toy, what would you be? You can either have ketchup on everything you eat forever or never have vinegar again. Which? Bagel or donut? Dogs have had it too good for too long, it's time for an upgrade. What's one thing yo...

That One Holiday Special (feat. Erin) 12.12.2023

Holidays, Hallmark, and a hell of a lot of family baggage come up in this one, folks. Happy Winter celebrations to all of you!   Questions asked: What non-holiday item/place SCREAMS yuletide for you? What holiday media would you wipe from collective memory? If you play dreidel, what do you want to be up for grabs as the prize? You set an extra plate out for Christmas Eve dinner, who do you hope is...

Con(n)or Cast 28.11.2023

Con(n)or, noun: The entity resulting from a Dragonball Z Fusion Dance between Conor and Connor.   Questions asked: If you were an exercise, which would you be? Overnight, the human race becomes totally chill about public nudity. What's the best and worst thing about this? What is your guilty pleasure video game? What is your go-to snakemeal? The wheels of fate turned in your favor. What media (ser...

Cat Break! 14.11.2023

So, that's what I did.   Questions asked: What's your favorite video game OST? Baths or showers? What is your heel wrestling Persona? If you were cursed to live out the rest of your life as an animal, what would be the cruelest and most ironic choice?   Send us your weird questions: lemonanswers@gmail.com   Chill with us on social: Instagram: @theanswerisalemon TikTok: @theanswerisalemon   Website...

The Spooky Special (feat. Erin) 31.10.2023

Happy Hell Christmas, y'all.   Questions asked: Which horror villain gives the best hugs? If you were alive at the time of the witch trials, what everyday activity of yours would cause you to be accused of witchcraft? What classic movie monster would you want to take as a wedding as your date? If you died and your spirit was tied to an existing item of yours, what would that be? What was something...

Cardinals, Cardinals. 17.10.2023

May God forgive you for Hyper Winter... but I won't.   Questions asked: You’ve been commissioned to write a sequel to a pop song, what’s it called? If you could add a season to the year, when would it be, and what would it be like? You can add feathers to any creature without them. Which would it be? (Bonus: if you want, what bird would you take the feathers from?) What animal would you ride into...

Death, Evan, and Stratego 03.10.2023

I bet Death's a Yoshi main in Mario Party.   Questions asked: Who has performed your favorite cover song? (Bonus: what's your favorite remix?) What's your midlife crisis food stand? What genre of henchmen would you have? What game would you play Death for your soul?   Send us your weird questions: lemonanswers@gmail.com   Chill with us on social: Instagram: @theanswerisalemon TikTok: @theanswerisa...

Where His Mangled Bones Now Lie 19.09.2023

Like Bobby Orr, but without the victory.   Questions asked: Where is your happy place? What's your favorite lie? You have a monument in your honor made. What is it? You're a tiny, fae-sized person, what fruit or vegetable would be your house?   Send us your weird questions: lemonanswers@gmail.com   Chill with us on social: Instagram: @theanswerisalemon TikTok: @theanswerisalemon   Artwork by @Meli...

Actual Physical Meat Space 19.09.2023

Check out the artists Evan mentioned: Dr. Rocket Mikey Muffins Sister Wife Sex Strike   Who let these boys under the same roof?   The God of Odd sojourns in the PNW to visit Evan. They make their partners wait to enjoy a lovely day in Seattle to chat. Hope you're hungry for more because there's a lot of food talked about in this one.   Questions asked: What is your most aesthetically pleasing word...

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