The Angry Therapist Podcast

What if the promises we make in love are setting us up to fail? In this episode, John Kim is joined by his wife, Vanessa Bennett, to explore how redefining the promises we make in relationships could change the way we love. Instead of focusing on "forever," they discuss commitments rooted in personal growth, accountability, respect, and the willingness to keep doing the inner work, even when relat...

Curious about psychedelic medicine but unsure what it actually does? In this conversation, John Kim sits down with Sarah Williams to explore how medicines like MDMA and psilocybin can support healing, self-discovery, and personal growth when approached with intention, safety, and integration. Sarah shares her journey from her first ayahuasca experience to becoming a medicine guide, including the n...

In this Therapy Thursdays episode, John answers your questions about toxic relationships, emotional unavailability, sexting in committed relationships, why it's so hard to leave someone who hurts you, and the difference between being in love and being "in lost." He also shares practical advice on building self-trust, redefining what makes a good day, and what healthy masculinity looks like. Whethe...

What if the love you've been chasing was never meant to stay the same? In this episode, John Kim shares excerpts from his new book, Love Hard on Purpose, and explores how love evolves as we heal. He reflects on the difference between unhealthy, dopamine-driven relationships and the kind of love that challenges us to grow, repair, and become better versions of ourselves. In this episode: • Why love...

In this episode, John Kim shares two practices that have had the biggest impact on his own life and wellbeing. He explains why reducing your everyday fight or flight state and learning to get out of your head can help you move from simply surviving to genuinely thriving. In this episode: • Why subtle fight or flight can quietly shape your everyday life • How designing your lifestyle can help you f...

What happens when you stop chasing and start listening? In this episode, John shares the personal shifts he's working through after moving to Costa Rica. From learning to surf at 52 to redefining success, he reflects on slowing down, letting go of old patterns, and finding joy in the small moments that make life feel more alive. In this episode: • Why he's learning to approach surfing as a practic...

Dating can feel exhausting, especially when every first date seems loaded with pressure, expectations, and endless swiping. In this episode, John shares five first-date reminders for navigating modern dating with more confidence, curiosity, and intention. He explores why dating often feels transactional today, how expectations can get in the way of connection, and what it looks like to approach da...

Why is it so hard to let go of someone you know isn't right for you? How do you know when you've healed enough to date again? Can someone truly love you if you don't love themselves? And what do you do when trust is broken? In this listener Q&A, I answer questions about heartbreak, attachment, self-worth, trust, and what it actually takes to build healthy relationships. We explore why we can stay...

In this personal episode, John shares a collection of journal entries and reflections on fear, identity, reinvention, love, writing, and what it means to fully live. From losing his home in the Los Angeles fire to building a new life in Costa Rica, he explores the fear of reaching the end of life without ever being fully known or fully becoming who you're meant to be. In this episode: • Why fear i...

In this episode, John Kim sits down with Brenden Durell to talk about masculinity, vulnerability, Tantra, intimacy, and emotional growth. Brenden shares his journey from sports into self-discovery and men’s work, exploring how discipline, trust, and presence can create deeper freedom and connection. They also discuss porn, edging, aftercare, therapeutic experiences with MDMA and San Pedro, and the...

Don’t protect your heart. Protect your relationship. In this episode, John Kim explores what it really takes to build a relationship that lasts. After heartbreak, loss, and repeating old patterns, many people start doing the inner work and realize that healthy love does not just happen naturally. It has to be built with intention, ownership, and practice. John breaks down the idea of “relationship...

Why does a breakup feel like more than heartbreak? In this episode, John Kim explores why breakups can feel like a death, and why that experience is rooted in more than emotion alone. Drawing from neuroscience, attachment theory, and years of therapeutic experience, he explains what happens in the brain after a relationship ends and why healing takes time. John unpacks the hidden losses that often...

In this Therapy Thursdays episode, we’re answering listener questions about the messy, tender, and sometimes confusing parts of relationships. We talk about what it means when someone says “I love you” very early on, how relationships naturally move through different stages, and what to do when the romance starts to fade. We also explore the painful reality of betrayal — including what repair can...

Joy, trauma, grief, healing. What if they’re all connected? In this conversation, John sits down with Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald to explore what trauma actually does to the nervous system, why joy is more than a fleeting feeling, and how small moments of joy can help us stay grounded through life’s hardest seasons. They discuss the science behind joy, common misconceptions about trauma, how childh...

What if the thing you keep chasing isn’t actually better... just more familiar? In this solo Q&A episode, John Kim reflects on fantasy, gratitude, emotional presence, and the difference between intensity and real love. From surfing in Costa Rica to answering listener questions about confidence, breakups, infidelity, and self-abandonment in relationships, this episode explores what happens when you...

John Kim explores what it really means to “seek nectar” in everyday life and why tiny moments of beauty, awe, and presence might matter more than we think. In this solo episode, John reflects on life in Costa Rica, nervous system healing, and the difference between surviving and actually feeling alive. He shares how years of stress and hyper vigilance can train us to scan for danger, and how inten...

Love often starts as a drug. But what happens when the high wears off? In this episode, John Kim explores the difference between “drug-based love” and “medicine-based love,” and why most relationships struggle when chemistry begins to settle. He talks about projection, love addiction, emotional growth, and how real healing begins when relationships stop being a place to escape yourself and become...

In this Therapy Thursdays episode, John answers listener questions about anxious attachment, exes, blame, perfectionism, makeup sex, and relationship myths. He explores how attachment patterns affect your partner, why we sometimes stay mentally connected to an ex, and how to know whether a relationship has real long-term potential. If you’ve ever wondered whether your relationship has legs, why yo...

In this episode, John explores the different dimensions of intimacy, including emotional, spiritual, mental, passionate, physical, and energy intimacy. He emphasizes the importance of creating a safe space for emotional vulnerability, engaging in meaningful conversations, and practicing empathy and compassion. 🎙️ More about John: 📘 Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints....

What should you really look for when choosing someone to love? In this episode, John Kim explores why attraction alone is not enough to build a healthy relationship. He breaks down how instant chemistry can sometimes come from old patterns, why emotional intelligence matters more than intellect, and how self-awareness, consistency, and the ability to create safety are essential in love. John also...

This episode starts with a story about peeing on himself… and somehow turns into a conversation about masculinity, emotional safety, relationships, and rebuilding love after loss. John records this one off the cuff from a coffee shop in Costa Rica and reflects on the traits he once saw as flaws, the surprising depth that can happen in men’s groups, and a relationship question that’s changing the w...

Some relationship patterns aren’t about the present. They’re about wounds your nervous system learned a long time ago. In this episode, John Kim breaks down some of the most common emotional wounds people carry into relationships, including abandonment, rejection, betrayal, control, emotional deprivation, and loss of self. He explains how these wounds become patterns, why we react instead of respo...

In this Therapy Thursdays episode, we’re answering your questions about dating, attraction, conflict, infidelity, and the messy middle of deciding whether a relationship is worth repairing. We explore what to look for when you’re dating, how much of your past to share with a partner, and whether physical attraction can grow over time. We also get into the harder questions: why a spouse might becom...

In this deeply personal episode, John Kim revisits his story with fresh eyes and new perspective. From divorce and failed screenwriting dreams to becoming a therapist, building a life in Los Angeles, and then losing it all in a fire, he reflects on the defining “act breaks” that reshaped his identity. Now rebuilding in Costa Rica, John explores what it means to live without a blueprint and to desi...

In this episode, John explores why trying to bring a relationship back to what itonce was can quietly hold it back. Instead of restoring the past, he reframes love as something that must evolve alongside the people in it, requiring honesty, effort, and a willingness to grow together. He breaks down how relationships naturally fall out of alignment over time and why that doesn’t mean they’re broken....