The Alive & Free Podcast

"I'm not a good provider".  "I'll never feel loved" "I'm a failure." "I have no community" It's difficult when life throws us into things that we are not good at or are new to like parenting, marriage, new jobs, new business... And it's tempting to try and prove through action that we are enough and that we are lovable.  How do we avoid that vicious cycle but also continue showing up in "the hard"...

Have you ever felt wildly out of control in seasons?   Have you felt alone in community? Have you felt purposeless in your job? Has parenting or marriage just taken the wind out of your sails? It happens to all of us...but what do we do when we feel like our external circumstances and relationships feel totally outside of our control? In this episode, Spencer and Sammi share the invitation God has...

In this episode, Spencer has a discussion with one of his mentors, Steve Backlund of Igniting Hope Ministries. If you've felt hopeless about anything or you've struggled to have faith or connect with God, don't miss this episode. One highlight:  "Any area of your life that isn't glistening with hope is an area you're believing a lie, and that area is a stronghold of the enemy in your life." To fin...

We were recently asked on a podcast review what our connection with God looks like and how we navigate prayer and guidance from God. In this episode we discuss our current season of connection with God despite running 2 businesses, having a 6 month old baby, and all the current challenges of marriage. The truth is that every season looks different and our connection to God might change as well. Ho...

We all have really hard weeks, really hard seasons, and sometimes we all just get depleted. This week, we wanted to let you into a low moment of ours while we felt depleted. We have a beautiful 5 month old baby, named Wilder and he is such a gift but this past week has been rough. Sammi was sleep deprived. Spencer feels over-worked. In this episode, we talk about the tips and tools that get us thr...

TRIGGER WARNING!!! We are talking about post-partum sex and our journey with sex recently. If you don't want to hear nitty gritty details and a full sexual vocabulary, then don't listen. Hope you enjoy! CLICK HERE to look into our Come Alive Program for Men or Women!

Friendships can be difficult. We've been in seasons when it feels like nobody is close or connected and seasons when life feels so full incommunity. Then there are times when we have to confront people with pain and feedback and focus internally on the pain we're spilling out onto others. Either way, relationships can be messy and forming healthy, secure friendships can be very difficult. In this...

This week we are responding to instagram DMs. The questions we are answering are, "How is Spencer able to attach to his baby so well?  I have never seen a father attach to a newborn like that."  and the 2nd question, "How does Sammi keep such a powerful perspective on mothering?" Now, we are new parents...but we do believe our healing journey has set us up for success in so many areas, especially...

As a society we love being right and we hate being wrong. Not only do most people hate being wrong, but we feel so deeply unsafe and insecure when we are wrong. Right and wrong, black and white thinking destroys our ability to have real connection with eachother and with god. In today's episode, we break down this type of thinking and introduce a healthier approach to life and relationships. If yo...

MEN!!!  This world needs healthy, masculine men. This week I interviewed my friend and mentor, and someone I received coaching from for years...my good friend, Justin Stumvoll. This week, we discussed the problems that men face: shame, porn, performance, and self-sufficiency. There is a healing journey available for men but few men find it and few men take courage to run after it. Hopefully, for y...

This week will be inspiring for your walk with God. Spencer interviews one of his best friends, Nick Bayerle, CEO of Billion Dollar Body, a Community of Entrepreneurs going after health, wealth, and wholeness. The unique thing about Nick... He used to host big Oujie Board Parties at his house. Spencer led him to Jesus over 10 years ago, but since then Nick and Spencer have seen so many miracles wi...

We've all heard that "God is in Control."  But is it true? We've heard things like, "Everything happens for a reason," or "The Lord Givith and the Lord Taketh Away," and could it be that we misunderstand God's sovereignty? We believe that beliefs like this dictate the way we do life, the lens through which we perceive people and life, and impacts our internal state, freedom, and purpose. In this e...

John Mark Pantana, Worship Artist and Author, creator of Love Secrets and Mighty Grace shares his story with Spencer of coming out of the chains of religion as well as a life of rebellion towards God as well as drug use and self hatred. John Mark and Spencer talk about religion and its devastation on their lives. John shares about his encounters with God, intimacy with Him, and how to live connect...

Maybe you have been the person that has had huge vision for your life and have fought for the things in life you've wanted or felt called to. Or maybe you've been the monk that has sought fulfillment within and hasn't cared about building or achieving anything in life. Which is right? When is it important to build, fight, run after things and when is it important to look inside yourself and find i...

Attachment Styles... Are yout typically anxious for attachment when you get triggered in relationships? Or are you typically apathetic and avoidant when you get triggered in relationships? In this episode, we dive into attachment styles as well as give you an inside scoop into our relationship so that you can learn how to heal even more deeply. The more self-aware you become, the more compassion y...

Our baby, Wilder is 7 weeks old now and we are navigating connection in the midst of so much output. How do you stay full? How do you stay connected? We've all had busy seasons, painful seasons, or dead seasons... In this episode we wanted to share some of the "Real" of what we've been experiencing in this new season and also share some of the ways we've stayed full, connected to ourselves, and no...

I interviewed my Dad. He's an alcoholic. I've had a ton of pain and neglect from childhood because of him. His parenting has marked my life. But he has also chosen to confront his biggest failures and pain and although our connection is a work in progress, I have so much respect for the humility that he lives his life with. My dad was pretty distant, disconnected, disassociated for a lot of my chi...

I felt codependent with my mom my whole life. I felt like the only way to satisfy her was by shutting down my heart and emotions.   I had so much resentment towards her but DID NOT KNOW IT. So I went through a healing process that lasted nearly a decade to no longer feel powerless and to connect with her. I interviewed my mom this week for the podcast. This is really cool because many of you have...

We just had our baby 2 weeks ago and have been on a podcast hiatus...both enjoying our new little boy and also processing some of the grief and trauma from the labor and birth. We all have moments in our lives that aren't just black and white, good or bad. How do we celebrate without dismissing grief? How do we grieve without living in perpetual hopelessness? A lot of you have been asking about ho...

We've seen people go after healing and leave christianity entirely. We've seen people take license to just be triggered at everybody that sin't "safe". We've seen people cling to religious legalism when healing and freedom is so close. Whatever the case...there are a lot of "paths" out there to walk in our lives...a lot of options for how to do life and what to worship. While many people have to i...

We, as human beings, love to learn new language and understanding and point it at other people rather than ourselves... It is so easy to learn new emotional health language and become more self aware and emotionally Intelligent to then want to point it at others when they/we are triggered. We have done this so many times... And it doesn't help. We've also made turned emotional health into another...

As a culture we are way too busy for our own good... But why? Why isn't it good? In this episode we talk about how to work through overwhelm triggers and feeling out of control and how we try to take back control or medicate ourselves with work and toil. Rate and leave us a review!

Sammi and I are moments away from our first baby... We are going to be giving up a lot of freedom. But we often make trade our freedom for relationship and things that we believe will be fulfilling. Some of us do whatever we can to hold onto freedom and commitments and responsibilities feel terrifying. How do you know when you're ready for that exchange? What do you do when you're not ready? In th...

Should a person's value be reduced to what number they are on a scale of 1-10? Is there more to relationships and dating than how attracted you are to someone? Is attraction even important in relationships, really? What should we do with the lust, attraction, and comparison that society feeds us? Sammi and Spencer have both struggled with eating disorders, a deep need to be seen, noticed, and want...

If you want some nitty gritty stories of the supernatural and the demonic, then this is an episode you don't want to miss. We're continuing our conversation about the demonic, the supernatural, and inner healing. We might lose some of you here...but this is real stuff. The last thing we want is to act like we have all of the answers but there are just things that we cannot ignore and we definitely...