The ADHD Channel for Women (formerly MissUnderstood)

Does ADHD really mean poor self-control? Or is that the myth that’s been making everything harder?  Dr. Polaris Koi is a philosopher who studies ADHD and self-regulation (and is an ADHDer themselves). In this episode, Cate and Polaris get into why “just try harder” is not only unhelpful advice — it’s based on science that most researchers don’t even believe anymore.  They talk about why impulsivit...

Family vacations are supposed to be fun. So why do they feel like a project you can’t stop managing? If you have ADHD, travel is basically a multi-day test of your executive functions. Between planning paralysis, sensory overload, sleep disruptions, and lack of routine, vacations can leave you feeling more stressed than refreshed. And the strain can be even worse for women, who tend to carry a dis...

If your ADHD symptoms have spiked out of nowhere, perimenopause might be the culprit. Estrogen plays a direct role in dopamine regulation. When it fluctuates, your focus, memory, and emotional regulation take the hit.  This episode breaks down exactly what’s happening in your brain, why the strategies that used to work may be failing you now, and how to adjust your support system for this stage of...

If you have ADHD, you’re probably exhausted — and there’s a real neurological reason for it. Sleep expert Marlee Boyle, co-founder of Sleep Works, joins us to explain why ADHD brains are wired against a good night’s rest. Plus how perimenopause can make it worse. She walks us through CBT-I techniques, the truth about melatonin, and some surprisingly low-tech tools that can fix your circadian rhyth...

Did you know that women with ADHD consume explicit fiction at dramatically higher rates than neurotypical women — and there’s a neurological reason? Dr. Erika Miley is a licensed mental health counselor, certified sex therapist, and author of the only dissertation published on ADHD and women’s sexuality. After surveying over 2,000 participants, one thing kept surfacing: smut. Romantasy, explicit r...

Do you feel like too much in social situations — and somehow also not enough? Socializing with ADHD or AuDHD can feel like a minefield. There are the impulsive comments. The missed cues and oversharing. And then the post-hang crash. In this episode, Dr. J breaks down what’s happening in the ADHD brain that makes socializing harder. And she offers practical strategies for creating stronger connecti...

Today’s episode is a crossover with Understood’s new podcast, Everyone Gets a Juice Box . Host Jessica Shaw interviewed Rae about something she rarely discusses on Hyperfocus : Being a mom to a fabulous kid with ADHD. Even with Rae’s 20 years of experience studying and writing about ADHD, getting help for her child in school has been really challenging. Here’s how she’s supporting her daughter whi...

Is ADHD self-diagnosis valid? According to clinical psychologist Dr. Elizabeth Kilmer, that’s the wrong question entirely. When access to diagnosis is limited by cost, insurance, stigma, and identity — and when the people who self-diagnose show higher rates of negative self-image and internalized stigma — the real conversation isn’t about validity. It’s about how we make sure people have access to...

Content warning: This episode discusses self-harm and suicide. ADHD doesn’t cause self-harm, but the research is clear: People with ADHD — especially women and girls — are significantly more likely to engage in self-harming behaviors, especially during adolescence.  Why is ADHD so closely linked to self-harm? In this episode, Dr. J breaks down how the core features of ADHD — impulsivity, emotional...

What if your brain had a volume knob? Researcher Dr. Zachary Gershon joins Rae to explain Homer1a, a gene variant that may hold the key to how we focus. When levels are lower during development, the brain gets better at filtering out distractions, or what scientists call “neural noise.” This discovery could one day lead to non-stimulant treatment options for ADHD. And it started with one scientist...

If your home has ever felt like it’s working against you, this one’s for you. Certified professional organizer Alison Lush joins the show to unpack the ADHD relationship to stuff. Learn what chronic disorganization actually means, why the Marie Kondo method can backfire, and how to build systems that work with your brain. We also get into the emotional weight of clutter, organizing as a couples is...

ADHD doesn’t clock out at bedtime. From delayed sleep phases and racing thoughts to stimulant timing and restless nights, sleep disruption is one of the most common (and most overlooked) challenges of living with ADHD. Plus, poor sleep makes every ADHD symptom worse!  In this episode, Dr. J breaks down why ADHD and sleep don’t always get along. And she shares five science-backed strategies to help...

Rae puts on her most uncomfortable pants (on purpose!) to ask a fashion designer and former special ed teacher whether adults can actually get over sensory issues. Julia DeNey, founder of sensory clothing brand Sense-ational You, breaks down why tactile sensitivity doesn’t disappear at 18, what adaptive fashion can (and can’t) fix, and why telling yourself “today’s the day I get over it” is the wo...

Laura Mears-Reynolds, founder of ADHDAF and an award-winning community organizer, joins Cate to talk about online communication, building connection, and staying in touch when you have ADHD. They dig into rejection sensitive dysphoria and miscommunication, object permanence with people, time blindness in relationships — and why online community can be genuinely life-saving. Plus: the great voice m...

Marijuana can feel like a miracle fix for ADHD, quieting the noise and taking the edge off. But this short-term relief comes with trade-offs. In this episode, Dr. J breaks down why ADHD brains are drawn to weed, what the research actually says about the long-term consequences, and healthier alternatives. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re self-medicating, this one’s worth your attention. For m...

Hyperfocus listener Jenna Plonsky opens a raw conversation about ADHD, late diagnosis, and the mental health struggles many women face in silence.  From postpartum depression to PMDD, this episode explores how hormonal shifts intersect with neurodivergence — and why so many go undiagnosed for decades. It’s an honest look at shame, self-perception, and the turning point that comes with finally unde...

Content warning: This episode discusses self-harm.  What does it actually take to finish a book with ADHD?  Cate sits down with Erik Gude, her co-author of The ADHD Field Guide for Adults , to unpack five years of starts, stops, and persistence. They get into taking advantage of accessibility options and overcoming the shame of looming, unfinished projects to get this one done.  For more on this t...

Every year, tax season arrives on schedule. Every year, you scramble to track down bank statements, W2s, receipts, and… UGH. If you have ADHD, that’s not laziness. It’s your brain working against a task it wasn’t built for. Procrastination, forgetfulness, overwhelm, and shame stack up fast.  In this episode, Dr. J breaks down why taxes are so hard for the ADHD brain — and walks through practical s...

Our team has been seeing something called “ring of fire” ADHD spreading across the internet. It’s a supposed subtype of ADHD promoted by Daniel Amen, a celebrity psychiatrist with clinics in multiple states and a huge online following. But in reporting this episode, we found that “ring of fire” ADHD isn’t recognized by mainstream science. Nor are brain scans approved by the FDA as a diagnostic too...

As we know, Reddit is full of messy love stories, and we have thoughts.  From gaslighting and age gaps to the weird magic of “new relationship energy,” we read posts that make us laugh, cringe, and wonder — can memory be used as a weapon in a relationship? For more on this topic Listen: ADHD and dating Listen: Is it love or is it dopamine? For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed...

For people with ADHD, guilt can feel like a full-time job you never signed up for.  In this episode, Dr. J digs into why your brain keeps hitting replay on minor mistakes, why “I shouldn’t have said that” can echo for hours, and how emotional overdrive makes tiny errors feel enormous.  You’ll get clear strategies to pause, notice patterns, and respond without spiraling.  For more on this topic  Li...

Rae has a lifelong misconception about her dyscalculia turned on its head. And she learns why labels don’t mean limits. For more on this topic Listen: Kids are at a breaking point, and school policies might be to blame Listen: The uncertain future of special education in the United States The discrepancy model: What you need to know For a transcript and more resources, visit Hyperfocus on Understo...

Division of labor between partners isn’t easy for anyone. Add ADHD and suddenly dishes come with shame. Trash becomes a crisis. And rest starts to feel sketchy.  Cate sits down with KC Davis to unpack the messy, deeply human reality of sharing work at home. They talk about resentment, perfectionism, time blindness, trust, and why keeping score almost never fixes anything. For more on this topic Li...

For many people with ADHD, lying isn’t about dishonesty. It’s a stress response.  Some days your ADHD brain tells a tiny fib just to survive the social jungle. Saying “yes” when you mean “no.” Inventing excuses for forgetting something obvious. Lying isn’t villainy here — it’s impulsivity, executive dysfunction, and a dash of fear. In this episode of ADHD and , Dr. J digs into why ADHD makes disho...

Last fall, I heard something that floored me: The tests we have for ADHD in adults don’t work very well. As an adult with ADHD, I think about this all the time because our diagnosis is so stigmatized and so misunderstood. It’s overdiagnosed. It’s underdiagnosed. Everybody has it. Nobody has it. If only there were a silver bullet or some test that could definitively say yes or no . So, I asked the...