The 3 Wise Men Couldn't Make it

Send us Fan Mail Its nearly time for the mightiest, heaviest, most rockingest festival of 2026, Download! In this very special episode Pete, Carl and Guest star Ghosthunter Pete discuss the lineup, best Downloads of the past and the what the future may hold. Big thanks to Leigh for letting us record in The Saddle Inn in Chester! Rock on Tommy! (dated reference)

Send us Fan Mail Listen up you primitive screwheads, this episode the 3 Unwise Men attempt to improve the greatest horror/comedy movie of all time, the mighty Evil Dead 2 from 1987. They fail, but have fun in the process.  Please wont you JOIN US for singing corpses, the evil of director Sam Raimi, the misfortune of star Bruce Campbell ever knowing Sam Raimi and more dumb stuff than you can shake...

Send us Fan Mail Its been a busy year for the 3 Unwise Men, in this episode we bare our hearts and innermost feelings about the past year or so and explain why our schedules been a bit ropey. Plus, a constant stream of abuse, stupid stories, Carl doesn't have a girlfriend and we discuss some super hot news items.

Send us Fan Mail We're back trying to fix the unfixable, Spielberg classic Jurassic Park Part 2 of 2. Is this possible? The answer, of course is a resounding 'no'.  So join us for dinosaurs with emo hair, 'saur smack downs and hot pelicans. We apologies profusely, but what do you expects from these unwise idiots? Enjoy peeps!

Send us Fan Mail Welcome back to another 3 Wise Men Thrill Ride True Believers and Wise Menologists! the second 3 Wise Men Improvey the Movies focusses on 90's Spielberg classic Jurassic Park.  So please join Carl, Rich and Jurassic Park canteen employee Tyrone Osaursusrex as they dissect, analyze and fix the mistakes that heck Spielberg unleashed on the world. You want Sexy Alan Grant, men w...

Send us Fan Mail Its part 2 of The 3 Wise Men try to improve a stone cold horror classic. How do they do? Welp, its not as good as a stone cold horror classic, but maybe there are some interesting insights in here - The Xenomorph uses the PA system, the Xenomorph uses a spacesuit for a cheeky little trick, Ridley Scott, you may have missed some vital advice here mate. Part 2 of a ludicrous 2 part...

Send us Fan Mail We are back after a bit of a break with our first 'The 3 Wise Men Improvey the Movies' series.  First one out of the gate is the 1979 classic 'Alien'. Can we improve on one of the greatest Sci-Fi horrors of all time? Tune in and find out as we discuss grimy actors, squatting in ducts, Sidney Sweeney and frying alien eggs.  The short answer is 'No'. Pa...

Send us Fan Mail In a wildly self-indulgent episode we celebrate the birthday of the most clinically insane member of the group - the mighty Rich. Listen on as we shower Rich with gifts, accolades, and pepper the podcast with interesting birthday thoughts to ponder. Who really enjoys birthday cards? What's the best birthday food?  Does anyone really like birthday cake? Listen in and enjoy thi...

Send us Fan Mail Its a Carl free Ep this time as he was at Download 2025 (check out the vlog on the You tube channel).  In this episode a bereft Pete and Rich discuss some incredibly useful Apple Watch handy hints in the first ever DICK TIPS segment. Then we dive into a hot and heavy political discussion about who would make a better POTUS than Lil' Donny Trump, the answer may surprise you. I...

Send us Fan Mail OK folks, season 2 was a bit all over the shop so we are recalibrating, with a hot new season 3!  MORE CONTROVERSIAL TOPICS!  COOL MINISERIES!  HOT OPINIONS!  REGULAR UPLOADS!  SEX! And in this debut NEW FORMAT ep we discuss the feud of the century. The worlds most 'not on drugs' richest man vs the worlds most powerful orange man! Its bigger than Godzilla vs Kong! Deadpo...

Send us Fan Mail Yeah, yeah we know, we jumped a couple of eps here, personal stuff got in the way and and the files went bye bye. You can however watch them all on You tube! This ep sees the us attempt to not crack up at each others terrible, appalling, very very bad dad jokes. The finest form of humor in the galaxy. Laugh you get belted with a hammer, lightsaber or axolotl. And that's no jo...

Send us Fan Mail Its the first episode of the all-new, all-different 3 Wise Men Couldn't make It, and with it we bring you more glorious content fresh from the anvils of the podcast gods.  This week we are spinning in some fun and games, wanna play Liar Liar? Listen to the latest hot topics on the 3 Wise Newsmen or challenge the Wheel of Waffle? Well tune in True Believer its bumpy ride - for...

Send us Fan Mail Its the Night of Nights as we are joined by Leigh, Guv'nor of The Saddle (Worlds Greatest Rock Bar) for the 2024 3 Wise Men Oscars. Marvel at the lack of glitz and glamour! Gasp at Carl's inability to tell what year it is! Faint at Rich's lack of pop culture knowledge!! We discuss our favorite movies, music and moments from 2024. and things to come in 2025. Jizzhand...

Send us Fan Mail Its a new year and it promises new experiences, new horizons and new stupidity for the Unwise Men. Join us as we discuss the forthcoming events, pods, movies and darts crap to come in 2025.  Also would you believe we have 2 very special guests? Well....we do bub. Tune in and drop off people.

Send us Fan Mail Continuing on the epic saga from our previous D&D Episode, vegan barbarian Grunthong, pan throwing wizard Fannygasp and Carl are in dire straits, being attacked by and angry troll. But what happens when Carl is called back to his home planet? Who will replace his formidable presence? who is Security Dan? What terrors lurk in the D&D Wetherspoons? Can Grunthong get a decent...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode of the 3 wise men couldn’t make it podcast we decided to create our own fictional music festival with some hilarious outcomes.... want an army of fancy dress Hitlers dancing to the Happy Mondays and a drug snorting Loch Ness Monster? Or you could head over to the Heaven and Hell Festival where you will be screamed at by Brian Blessed or lulled into a false sense of...

Send us Fan Mail We are once more live and barely alive from The Saddle Rock Bar in Chester and joined by its legendary proprietor, the mighty Leigh.  Hop over to You tube for the full video experience, featuring actual CCTV ghost footage from The Saddle and Pete's awful new haircut, as we tell spooky true-life ghost stories and try not to faint in utter terror, and not just from looking at P...

Send us Fan Mail You think you got what it takes? You talking to me? You think you're tough?? You 'aint got the stones mate, you horrible little rodent.  This episode we talk about tough guys and girls, what's your tough guy daily routine? Who's the toughest movie character? What does it mean to be tough in this crazy world? All hosted by our very special guest, half sized brot...

Send us Fan Mail Strap in folks for a VERY special episode as we come to you LIVE from Chester's one and only rock bar, The Saddle.  We are joined by its owner, proprietor and self-proclaimed emperor. Leigh and discuss the crazy word of pubs and bars and running THE GREATEST BAR IN THE WORLD. The boys go head to head with Lee to decide who can run the most successful bar, 2 clueless dipshits...

Send us Fan Mail Welcome to our horrifically late Halloween Horror episode. Pop over to YouTube for the full visual treat, as Venom, a Poundland Wolfman and Kick-ass celebrate the spooky season and discuss best horror movie kills, scariest moments and the raw, untrammeled  power of Horlicks.  Bwahahah, wooooooooo, etc.

Send us Fan Mail In this episode we talk Animals but not quite as straightforward as one might think....... We ask the boys what animals body part they would choose to have and why. How to make the ultimate wild killing machine and badger parades. Special guest Steve Irwinnits joins hosts and tells us all about his undying love for crocodiles and his gorgeous Shiela, Brucella.  Pete pops in for th...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode of The 3 Wise Men Couldn’t Make It we discuss what it means to be British. From music to films we talk our favourite bands, movies, food and debate our best and worst towns and cities that the wonderful green pastures of the UK has to offer.  Join us as we decide our favourites, for a conversation so patriotic, you will all grow stiff upper lips and say 'old c...

Send us Fan Mail We have some big, steaming hot news in this short update podcast episode. We are only a small podcast just finding our feet and have some great news which might help us grow our audience a bit faster.  This episode is basically the audio from our second video podcast which you can find in video form on our YouTube channel, go to The Tube if you wanna see our ugly mugs. Also naught...

Send us Fan Mail Dungeons and Dragons, D&D for short is one of the biggest games in the world. In this scintillating ep D&D Expert Jay joins us for a beginners run through of fantasy based insanity. So join the sex Dungoen Master, Gruntthong the Barbarian, Fannygasp the Wizard and Carl on an adventure into the depths of the unknown. Grab your swords, power up your spells and grab your sex...

Send us Fan Mail Everyone needs a bit of help sometimes and we at The 3 Wise Men Couldn't Make It are happy to give you, the listener. our kind, gentle, worldly advice. We've all been around the block a bit (apart from Carl) and are more than give sensible, well thought out and dare I say it, SEXY advice. Sit down, make a nice cuppa, chug a bag of ket and tune in!