The 2 Montys Podcast

Haron accidentally finds himself defending a doctor called Lee, King jumps a median strip directly in front of a police wagon, the great "beer in the toilet" debate divides the room, and somehow the conversation ends with a dog enthusiastically licking blood off the floor of one of Australia's oldest pubs? Idk, you tell me how we got there. Along the way there are skin cancer checks,...

This week, the boys are back with another beautifully unstructured episode that somehow covers everything from soggy DoorDash deliveries to being recognised by podcast listeners in the wild. We share the chaos of Divas on the Green, including one of the all-time worst jokes delivered after a few too many drinks, then recount a wedding where the bridal party stole the show. There's a discussion...

After a few weeks off, the boys are back and absolutely no topic is safe. This episode has a bit of everything: fighting Queensland traffic while half-dead from illness, an emotional wedding speech that proves exactly why photos and video matter, two dogs raising questions nobody asked and a legendary country pub adventure that somehow involves a mysterious local taxi operator named Boomer. There...

This week, Jack is back in the studio, and somehow we spend 30 minutes bouncing between AI wedding photography scandals, styled shoots, wedding expos, dodgy business practices, winter weddings, tattoos, social media burnout, and whether dolphins are bigger dickheads than cats. Along the way we accidentally stumble into a genuinely important conversation about multiple sclerosis, Australia's he...

This week, we're joined by wedding photographer Jack Ham (No relation to John Pork) for a wide-ranging chat covering everything from the wildest country wedding stories you've ever heard to the things wedding vendors secretly wish couples would stop doing. We dive into forgotten wedding rings, broken cars stranded in paddocks, impromptu horse-riding incidents, terrible best man speeches, g...

This week on the Two Monty’s Podcast, we’re joined by Bizarre House to talk about one of the wildest event concepts Newcastle has ever seen. The Ball at Bartholomew’s is part immersive theatre, part fantasy gala, part fundraiser and apparently includes orchestras, roaming performers, hidden worlds, choreographed dances, tattoo studios and more mystery than we could fit into one episode. We chat ab...

What happens when a funeral director who actually gives a damn sits down with a wedding celebrant thinking about crossing over to the dark side (who previously has had choice words for the profession)? We get into the predatory tactics of big funeral corporations, why most people are in no state to make good decisions when they're handed a wall of coffins, and what a truly meaningful send-off...

This week the boys are back and covering the full chaotic spectrum. The King opens with a rant about the parking inspector who rocked up to his tiny dead-end street to fine him $330 for parking his tinny the wrong way, and yes, the choice words he threw on the way past absolutely didn't help. From there, it's a detour into AI tools (Claude, Grok, ChatGPT) and why a four-page GPT-generated...

There's no escaping that this week’s episode is an absolute trainwreck. We battle audio issues for half the episode, somehow end up deep in a discussion about snapped taps, stripped threads and tyre prices, then completely derail into weddings, AI paranoia, daycare drama, country pubs, tattoos, lesbians assuming sexualities, Mount Kosciuszko, redheaded bullying scandals, and whatever else got...

This week the boys are back with a proper mixed bag. From accidentally flooding a caravan park (and owning up to it… eventually) to freezing camping trips, questionable restaurant reviews, and the ongoing outrage of “fun size” chocolate getting smaller by the year. There’s also a deep dive into wedding season realities — including one of the more frustrating videographer horror stories you’ll ever...

One Monty is buried in laundry. The other is fully submerged in a bubble bath with a wine in hand. Business as usual if you ask me. This episode of Two Montys is pure, unfiltered chaos. We’re talking neighbour bin wars that escalate way too far, drive-thru design flaws that deserve jail time, and the kind of random life encounters that leave you questioning everything. There’s also a wedding saved...

The boys are back and absolutely unhinged. This week it’s a full Maldives honeymoon debrief, from boozy resort loopholes and Malé to the kind of stories that definitely shouldn’t be told on a public platform… but here we are. We get into wild wedding moments (including one of the most cooked ceremony interruptions you’ll ever hear), travel chaos, and the reality of working weddings while everythin...

If you’ve ever wondered whether astrology is complete nonsense, whether you can actually pay a witch on Etsy to control the weather, or how far people will go to avoid a rainy wedding, this episode delivers. The boys unpack some of the wildest things they’ve seen lately, from brides burying sausages to stop rain, to people legitimately paying so-called Etsy witches for good weather (yes, really)....

This week, the boys continue to unpack the absolute chaos of a country wedding weekend. What starts with a simple trip to Glen Innes quickly spirals into fireworks run by a Catholic priest, the mystery of why a tiny town has so many lawyers, and the discovery that there are apparently only two taxis servicing the entire region. Along the way, there are debates about Dagwood dogs at the show, a dee...

This week on The Two Montys the boys recap the chaos of Haron’s wedding weekend in Glen Innes. What could have been a simple country wedding turned into rain, glamping tents, fireworks confusion, excavator entrances and significantly more. Monty breaks down the behind-the-scenes chaos of officiating the wedding, including a Law & Order: SVU inspired opening , a whip-cracking entrance, and the...

This week is what happens when you lock two blokes in a room with microphones and no real plan. Monty’s firing off about hotel check-in times that make zero sense, online payment platforms holding money hostage, banks “processing” transfers like it’s 1987, and the absolute audacity of charging $10 for four prawns. We get into gym niggles vs actual injuries, fake conference business ideas, wedding...

Episode 109 is a proper loose one. We kick off with some very questionable hand–eye coordination, throw in a bad back from picking up a phone charger, and somehow end up deep in the weeds about wedding vendors yelling “fully booked” into the void. Is it marketing? Is it ego? Is it just creating urgency? We’ve got thoughts. From first day of school nerves and tap dancing flashbacks to Bunnings gift...

This week, we cover absolutely everything and solve absolutely nothing. There’s a drag race with teenagers at the lights, a deep dive into why ChatGPT rankings can’t be trusted, and a wedding so hot it nearly ended in heatstroke. Plus: Disney dealbreakers on Tinder, group chat oversharing, marketplace negotiations, first days of high school, and possibly the greatest wedding addition of all time,...

No plan, no prep, and somehow a full episode appears anyway. This week we cover the highs and mild panic of a charity wedding auction going right at the last possible second, questionable restaurant pricing (who is paying $42 for a cauliflower?), first days of high school, school zones with no kids, parking inspectors doing what they do best, and the slow realisation that getting older is mostly j...

This episode goes completely off the rails when Jeremy casually reveals he’s been recording smut and somehow thinks this is a normal, scalable business idea. What follows is a deranged brainstorm involving anonymous submissions, monetising filth, whether you can sell erotica for the price of a Snickers, and the uncomfortable realisation that this may be the most organised anyone’s ever been on the...

This week is… loose. The boys are joined by Scott, a longtime friend, barber and accidental elite gymnast, who immediately regrets coming on. There’s heated debate over who introduced who, whether Grafton is good actually, competitive gymnastics at an international level, getting kicked off dating apps in record time, and several moments that absolutely should have been cut (but weren’t). Add in t...

Episode 104 is loose from the jump. We kick things off with a truly criminal rendition of Country Roads , immediately derail into unsolicited life updates, and then welcome back our long-suffering friend Jeremy Bell, who somehow agreed to return after last time. From there it’s a rapid descent into charity auction victories, deeply questionable Bible verses, awkward family hypotheticals, rogue rel...

The charity wedding auction is back for 2026. This episode is all about our annual charity wedding auction , where one couple can score a wedding worth around $80k–$100k by bidding at auction, with all proceeds going directly to charity. AUCTION DETAILS 📍 Adam’s Peak (as part of the Seidu Wedding Trail) 📅 Sunday 18 January 🕓 Auction starts at 4:00pm 🕐 Open day runs from 1:00–5:00pm 💻 Online b...

Editor Note: Quick heads up, we’re taking a short break over the holidays. If you want to see us in the wild, come along to the Two Montys Charity Auction at Adams Peak. Back soon. From scavenger hunts and karaoke chaos to why most wedding speeches are far too long, this episode is a very honest, very loose conversation about what works, what absolutely doesn’t, and the moments guests remember lon...

Episode 101, and somehow we’re still here. This week, we spiral into celebrant organisation levels that feel borderline supernatural, unpack the idea of what’s “ethical” when it comes to ceremony scripts, and agree (once again) that horses for courses should probably be tattooed somewhere visible. There are wedding war stories, unsolicited Instagram opinions, Facebook giveaway rage, dog-licked win...