That's Absurd Please Elaborate

This episode Julian gears up for the last great race with an irresponsible amount of chihuahuas while Trace finds a use for AI that it might actually be suited for. QUESTIONS Julian: "How many chihuahuas would it take to complete the Iditarod?" from Loren Trace: "How many ChatGPT queries would I need to cook an egg?" from AJ Do you have an absurd question? Maybe it's silly idea you had, a shower t...

Hey man, like, if you took all the drugs … like, all of them. What would happen? Would you die? I mean, like, that’s just your opinion, man. But aside from that, and we may be out of our element like Donny, but if you replaced as many body parts as possible with technological wizardry … how many parts would you have left? Would you die?! QUESTIONS Julian: "What would happen if all known drugs were...

For some reason Julian and Trace both selected Spider-Man related questions. We felt like two Tobey Maguires dancing down the street in perfect sync. Julian critiques Spidey’s famous swingy transportation, and Trace learns a lot from New York City* train nerds. QUESTIONS Julian: "Does it actually make sense for Spider-Man to web swing? Shouldn’t he run?" from Jaron Trace: "How much spiderweb would...

In this special end-of-year episode we pull Kyle out of his editing hole and the three of us talk through some of your best questions of the year! Thank you, thank you, thank you for submitting such incredible questions to us. We read every one of them, we see the new ones coming in every day and we want to answer as many as we can! We love you all, and look forward to another year of absurdity....

Happy holidays! This episode is… weird. Now, normally, we have systems in place to prevent this problem from happening. Somehow we failed. I swear this all happened exactly as you heard! We’re so cooked, y’all. Or at least… that chicken is. QUESTION "What is the worst way to perfectly cook a chicken? For example, could you place it a perfect distance from a nuclear bomb to cook it to temperature?...

There's a quote attributed to Albert Einstein, "sit with a pretty girl for an hour and it feels like a minute; sit on a hot stove for a minute and it feels like many hours. That's relativity." There's no evidence he actually said this, but that didn't stop Julian from turning up the heat on his question. Meanwhile, Trace took the DNA from all his cells and strung it together end-to-end. How long d...

This week, Trace delves into some temporal fantasies, like: why people think if they could travel into the past they’d become lords and queens, and not serfs or worse!? Meanwhile, Julian measures the terminal velocity of poo-poo and pee-pee in very tall buildings. Our show is so weird. QUESTIONS Julian: "If you use the bathroom at the top of a skyscraper, does your pee hit terminal velocity?" from...

If you made a video call to someone on the other end of a very, very, very long stick would it be possible to poke them with the stick before the video showed them that you’d moved? Would this impossible, absurd invention move faster than the speed of light?!? Julian pokes around to see. Then, after a Spongebob-style “Meanwhile” title card… Trace grabs a clock and huh’s about why the hands don’t g...

Happy Thanksgiving to the Americans! Super-belated one for those Canadians too, eh! And, for the rest-of-the-world… Happy Thursday! To give ourselves a little break to spend with our families on Trace’s favorite holiday we’re re-airing a very early episode of the show. Eat some food, tell your friends you love them, and we’ll be back with a new episode next week! In episode 6, Julian explores what...

Friction! It’s what makes the world go rou— No, wait. That’s not it. Friction. It’s what keeps the world from spinning off into spaa—- That’s not it either. Friction… It’s what keeps your shoes from being too slippy, but also, like, just slippy enough? *Sigh* Also, dog bark science. Enjoy! QUESTIONS Julian: "What would a perfectly frictionless surface feel like?" from Adam Trace: "How bad would a...

This episode Julian attempts to make jokes but only hears crickets, Trace turns LA into a flaming dumpster fire and nobody notices, and special guest Dr. Joe Hanson of Be Smart explains how being "just a lil guy" is a superpower. QUESTIONS Julian: "How do crickets hear if they don't have ears?" from Joe Hanson Joe: "What if it was survival of the "cutest" instead of the "fittest"?" from Gerald Tra...

Fun fact: the dinosaur in Jurassic Park that spit acid on Nedry doesn’t exist! I mean, Dilophosaurus does, but it was probably a scavenger, not an evil piñata dinosaur. As long as we’re on the subject though, what if humans could shoot acid? What would that look like? And, as long as we’re talking about disemboweling humans … how many of their own internal organs does a person need to keep? How ma...

Happy Halloween, absurd friends! This time around Julian comes out of his shell to calculate the speed of a Kaiju snail (so much mucus 🤢). Meanwhile, Trace pulls out all the molars—uh, pulls out all the stops on his Fae business plan for TOUTHS Incorporated, The Uber for children’s teeth, and asks: Would That Solve Anything™?! QUESTIONS Trace: "What does the tooth fairy do with all the teeth" fro...

It's spoOOooOoky season! This week we're scaring you with a giant pasta topping! 👻 Not scared? What if I told you it's a meatball made of EVERY HUMAN? Oh, did I forget to mention that crucial detail? What's more terrifying than a GIANT MEATBALL OF ALL HUMANS?! MWAHAHAHA! (Just imagine the ODOR.) Would something that massive have its own gravity? What would it be like? Julian frightens himself sil...

In this wild episode, Julian infects your brain with the realization that plants can be VERY murdery, and Trace is driven NUTS looking for an elusive immortal animal. QUESTIONS Julian: "Why aren’t there plant-based diseases that affect animals?" from Isaiah Trace: "What food could you feed a squirrel to make it immortal?" from Trevor Do you have an absurd question? Maybe it's silly idea you had, a...

This episode Trace tries to find the secret to happiness and special guest host Dr Rohin Francis swaps out blood for something with a tangy, fruity kick. Oh yeah! Oh no! QUESTIONS Trace: "Must we know a negative thing to understand the positive?" from Buena Rohin: "Could you replace all your blood with kool-aid?" from Allyson Do you have an absurd question? Maybe it's silly idea you had, a shower...

We haven’t seen this many fireworks since the Rockefeller Center did that spectacularly wild “Salute to Fireworks” back in 2007. This time around, guest-host Ceri Riley ponders what if fireworks were a normal part of the weather? And Trace ponders the spirits of the great beyond. He tries so, so hard not to bring up his time in the Victorian Era. Spoiler: He fails, almost as spectacularly as those...

This is the episode you're looking for. This week Trace gets creative with an answer about unponderable ponderances, and Julian goes pew pew a lot with a poll-winning quesiton about Picard’s favorite weapon! We have a NEW HOPE that you’ll enjoy episode 52! QUESTIONS Julian: "What would a Star Wars blaster and/or ray gun be like if it could exist?" from poll winner, Nic Trace: "Where does creativit...

Get your moisture sensors ready. In this episode Dr Alex Dainis slides into the scientific journals all about lubrication to understand the slip-factor of classic yellow bananas. Meanwhile, Julian argues with an actual, college educated PhD scientist about the wetness of molten lava. Is Julian actually… correct?! QUESTIONS Julian: "Is lava wet" from Marlene Alex Dainis: "What food would be a bette...

You’re at a hockey game. You grabbed nachos and your favorite sports beverage. The Mighty Ducks are playing their rivals, and you look away from the ice to take a selfie with a selfie stick so long you have to brace it against your hip to snap the pic. You’re smiling with your crew, when a flash of white light envelops the stadium as the air catches fire. The noise is deafening. When you whip arou...

A rogue viking pirate planet hurtles through space looking for plunder and booty. The human race has become a destitute vampiric race obsessed with ancient sea shanties and frequent meteor showers. A whale in the North Atlantic hears a distant whale song from an individual it doesn’t recognize. It’s repeating a warning to stay away from a large metal ship moving through the area. Are these possibl...

Description 🎶 Game of Thrones theme 🎶 DRA-GONS. WHAT ARE DRAG-ONS? LET US KNOWWWWWW OR MER-MAIDS. FRICKIN’ MER-MAIDS… HOW THEY GOOOOO? PLUS JUUUU-LIAN WANTS TO CHECK ON MIRROR TRAAAACE HE THINKS, THIS MIRROR TRACE MIGHT BE EVIL TRAAAAAACE! 👏👏👏👏👏👏 Today in Pod 48 Ellen Weatherford from “Just The Zoo of Us” (family friendly) and “Spellbound and Gagged” (NSFW) joins us to talk out about...

Welcome to episode 48. Are you allergic to cats? When you visit friends does their cat seem to know (somehow) and roll up on you even though you’re ignoring it?! “WTF CAT. YOU’RE LITERALLY MURDERING ME,” you think intensely while sipping your white wine. “Wait, does the cat… KnOW?!” Trace pours himself a glass of that crisp white, and digs into the science. Meanwhile, Julian crushes the game and l...

For this episode Julian and Trace tackled the very uplifting and shiny topics of tornados and nuclear waste. No worries y’all! Everything here is so great! We’re not trying to lift giant building with natural disasters! No way! We’re not attempting to create a wild atomic disaster by throwing waste into an active volcano! HAHA Who would do that?! Cringe, right? QUESTIONS Julian: "How many tornados...

In episode 45 Julian deconstructs the human experience without our boney scaffold, Trace calculates the detriment (or delight?) of doubling the derriere, and our guest Ben Bowlin (from iHeart Radio’s Ridiculous History, Stuff they Don’t Want You to Know) sings the praises of the American accent. QUESTIONS Julian: "What if humans no bones?" from Fabie Ben: "Why do we have accents?" from Cori Trace:...