That's Absurd Please Elaborate

In this special HALLOWEEN EPISODE ⚡️ Julian and Trace wear out Kyle’s lightning button ⚡️ and answer some SpoOOoOooOOOoky questions about ⚡️ dangerous animals ⚡️ vampires and in true Millennial fashion…⚡️ ⚡️ ⚡️ alcohol ⚡️ QUESTIONS Julian: "If a vampire bit and fed off of a very drunk person, would the vampire then get drunk from the persons contaminated blood? If so, would this also work...

When can we all admit that we’re all scrolling instagram while sitting on the toilet? When will we admit that foods with more surface area are just darn tastier? And when will we admit that … well we’re still on the toilet because of constipation. Julian and Trace will cover all of this in this week’s episode. Except the instagram thing, that’s still a mystery to science because no one will admit...

Locusts, Squirrels, and Birds OH MY! In this wild episode of the show, Julian drones on like the queen he is all about airplanes and bees. Then, Trace finds some fuzzy commandos to gnaw at infrastructure of New Jersey. Squirrel away this knowledge for a rainy day — as long as the locusts don’t attack your airplane. QUESTIONS Julian: "How many bees would it take to Sully a plane?" from Zoe -- Wiki...

Dearest Listeners, We write from our recording studio's trenches. The air is thick and oppressive. The relentless heat tests our resolve. Our studios, once creative havens, now resemble the crannies of camels. The temperature rises each hour, and so do tempers. We are tired–Listeners—bone-tired, the kind that settles deep into one's soul. Yet we press forward, driven by our duty to document the ab...

WE DID IT. WE MADE 100 PODCAST EPISODES WITHOUT MISSING AN UPLOAD (almost). To celebrate Trace and Julian decided to do it big. How big? TEN WHOLE QUESTIONS BIG. SO BIG THEY HAD TO ASK THEIR FRIEND SOPHIE SHRAND TO HELP THEM OUT BIG. BIG ENOUGH TO.... BE... LIKE... REALLY LONG... BIG. You get the idea. We pulled out all the stops for this absolute marathon of an episode because we owed it to you a...

Tired of having to do all your evil deeds yourself? Well with this one simple organism and some ethically dubious genetic engineering you too could have your very own army of immortal minions! (Intelligence and number of eyes may vary). Julian explores what you might need to make these little favorites of moms everywhere. Then Trace explores a pool of saliva.... Just going to leave it at that. QUE...

Want to make a nanoscale image of the Mona Lisa? Listener Kodiak does. All they have to do is learn a bit of quantum mechanics, some thermochemical nanolithography, and then tap the genius of ancient superbrain Leonardo da Vinci! EASY!! Scientists did it!! Even though you can't see it without a powerful microscope trust us that she is smirking even harder than usual. While Trace is poking around l...

The hip bone connected to the basalt rock The femur bone connected to the lunar maria The foot bone connected to the gravitational equilibrium of the celestial bodies! That’s the story of the bones… and… this episode? QUESTIONS Trace: "How easy would it be to break your bones if humans can fly?" from Anonymous Julian: "How big would the moon have to be to make you weightless?" from Sun Do you have...

his week, Julian prunes the universe down to size: bonsai animals, bonsai humans, bonsai...uhm...did he just say bonsai HUMANS? Meanwhile, Trace tunes into the world of telepathy, where mind-reading might sound less like superpowers and more like trying to pick up a radio station with a bent coat hanger. QUESTIONS Julian: "Can you bonsai any living things other than trees or shrubs?" from Ard Trac...

This week, we and guest Lieven Scheire all ruminate about a new job: Fart Safety Officer. Meanwhile, Trace get’s SALTY thinking about what if the oceans weren’t and Julian calculates the pure pasty reflectiveness of the Britons. QUESTIONS Trace: "If we removed all salt from the oceans, would that solve anything about rising water levels?" from Rob Lieven Scheire: "Could a fart be ruminated to the...

Julian rolls into yet another extremely nerdy community and fires rounds left and right. Meanwhile, Trace calls his mom to help answer a question from a kid. As long as we're not on the subject though, what do tree trunks and military tanks have in common? They’re both flammable. QUESTIONS Julian: "Who would win: Dragons vs WW2 tanks” - Tim Trace: “Why are trees Green and Brown why not purple or s...

Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo, Julian’s got a blueberry question for you… Oompa Loompa, do-ba-da-dee, it you are wise you'll listen to … this podcast?? What do you get from a hose to space? “Is it a straw or a siphon,” asked Trace? Blaming us for these silly quest-ions You know exactly what… else happ-pens! We dig deep and will answer them! Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-da, If you like this pod then you wi...

In this episode, Trace investigates whether your furry companion is cuddling you... or forging a trauma bond in exchange for treats. Meanwhile, in a shocking twist of anatomy, Julian answers what would happen if your muscles worked in reverse . Flexing? Cancelled. Walking? Complicated. Cuddling your trauma-bonded cat? Still mandatory. QUESTIONS Julian: "What if muscles worked in the opposite direc...

In this rebroadcasted episode, Trace resets the solar system to observe what life would be like on a 2/3rds-sized "Wee Earth." Julian, meanwhile, uses particle physics to finally distinguish between his left and right hands. QUESTIONS Julian: "If I had some magic communicator to speak to someone in another galaxy, could I explain what "left" and "right" were?" from Anonymous Trace: "How would have...

In this episode Trace takes way, way too long to explain that dreams are pretty darn short. Meanwhile, friend of the absurd, Deboki Chakravarti squeezes every last drop of information about breastfeeding. QUESTIONS Deboki Chakravarti: "Why do we only breastfeed our babies, but not other close relatives and friends to boost each other's immune systems?" from Kathy Trace: "How does time in dreams wo...

It's the most wonderful time of the year! When the fish in the water make the kids scream and holler and panic with fear! That's right, it's Shark Time. You all know what we're referring to but we think the term might be trademarked like the Tuber Bowl and Taco Thursday. Anyway, we're kicking off the celebrations and to help us do so we went out and (politely) caught the coolest shark expert we kn...

In this strange episode Trace obsesses over the wild water system stretching across North America, and Julian contemplates indoor clouds and ACTUALLY ANSWERS: Does this solve anything?!?! Thanks to Dr Brian Rahm from the New York State Water Resources Institute at Cornell University for answering my silly questions. Find out more about water: https://cals.cornell.edu/water-resources-institute QUES...

This week we try something a little different — the ⚡️THUNDER ROUND ⚡️ as Jeff Goldblum says in Jurassic Park Uno, “Your [science nerds] were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn't stop to think if they should! ” In this special episode, Julian and Trace snagged every dinosaur related question we could fit in a shaving cream can. Then, like a couple of velociraptors in a kitchen we...

Setting: Dry, warm evening in a small pub in Los Angeles. Deputy Julian: "Whew-whee! What's that smell?!" Detective Kyle (with a light drawl): "That's ozone, Julian. Something out of this world happened in this English phone box." Dep. Julian (looking up at the sky): "By out of this world…you mean up there in the sky?" Det. Kyle: sighs heavily Dep. Julian: "I'm going to go check!" Julian unfurls h...

Trace WOOD really like you to know that Dr Sam Zelinka from the Forest Products Lab is really SWELL, and he is KNOT KIDDING (I’m out of puns). Also, Julian talks about airplanes (again). QUESTIONS Julian: "What is the fastest color?" from Rey Trace: "How much does my house shrink in the winter and expand in the summer?" from Chris Do you have an absurd question? Maybe it's a silly idea that popped...

When I was a kid, I ran around a corner and a tree branch went right into my eye. Luckily, my mom kissed it and made it all better… or… was it my brain that made it better? And can dogs do that too? Brb, gonna go kiss my dog. QUESTIONS Julian: "Do animals get the placebo effect??" from  Trevor (poll winner) Trace: "How long have people been kissing kids boo-boos, and does it work?" from ...

This is our first LIVE SHOW ever!! We were invited to perform the podcast live at Smith College in Massachusetts and people actually came! Thanks for all your support these past two years. We wouldn’t be here without you all. Thank you! QUESTIONS Julian: "Is it possible to maintain a tunnel from one side of the earth to the other? What would be the environmental effects?" from Weina Lu (she/her) T...

Bananas are positively aching to murder you. They’re radioactive, they’re clones, they’re slippery, they’re filled with potassium (which explodes when it hits water). Ignore those mosquitoes over there in the corner, pay attention to this murderous banana! NO DON’T PULL THE CURTAIN QUESTIONS Julian: "How many bananas would it take to kill a man?" from Hannah (she/her) Trace: "Could Mosquitoes go e...

Turns out plants are absolute CHATTERBOXES! They talk so much that they make Julian look like a silent partner (he’s not). Instead, he uses a silly German accent to accost our guest Maren Hunsberger all about plant communication. And, speaking of intense interrogations, Star Wars’ Tatooine gets a lot of play in the pop-science space news, but here at home having two suns is way hotter, and also (s...

Let’s just wait a minute while everyone logs on… just a miiiiinnuuuuute, OK do we? I think… Yes, we have everyone! Welcome y’all to our weekly corporate roundtable, before we get started let’s all do some SNAPS for Norm for his Thanos Post-Mortem! The deck was amazing and I think there were some incredible insights to share. But today we’re throwing it over to Trace to speak to our MISSING AMERICA...