Terrible Book Club

Paris and Chris have had a long evening of crafting for the previous episode. They then try to work their way through Maze while in an exhausted, sleep-deprived state beginning after midnight. Chances aren't good for these adventurers. Will Paris and Chris solve the Maze, find Room 45, and escape back to Room 1? Or will they forever wander through this book as penance?

T'was the week before Christmas and all through the house, could be heard Paris and Chris shrieking, and not from a mouse. The shrimp were speared on the cone with care,  In hopes that Terriblo would soon be there.   The roommates were nestled all snug in their beds; While visions from Lovecraft danced in their heads;   And Paris in her hoodie, and Chris in his too, Continued to slice and spear as...

There was so much Christmas cheer in this series that we had to call in our friends over at the Amazon Book Club to help us read it! Check out their episode that covers the first book, Christmas in Silver Bell Falls. A Christmas Rescue was so flavorless and dull that we ended up talking about other stuff for the latter half the episode. We play a guessing game Chris designed called Power Rangers M...

This psychological thriller didn't so much thrill us as annoy and infuriate us. Diary entries read like screenplays, the writing is bland overall, and ultimately the framing and plot have major issues. How does this book have such good ratings and reviews? Thanks to Chris's partner Rebecca for recommending this and donating her copy to the show. Content warnings: In addition to our usual barnyard...

In this edition of Microwave Cooking for One in Space, we ascend with our arsenal of 200 microwaves. We're gonna' cook Mars just right. We read the original Moon People four years ago in Episode 14. Thank you to listener Daniel Canady for this recommendation. Content Warnings are light this week - just some mild sex and violence in addition to our usual barnyard language.

When D & Ken listened to 30 seconds of our podcast and told us we were good, we immediately invited them onto our show as guests and then got podcast married. Our ghost moms warned us to, "Beware the Old-Stuff-Weirdos," but there's no way that refers to the Antiques Freaks. D calls in their Patron debt and forces us to read Crimson Peak. We also watched Crimson Peak for Patrons. Paris has already...

Neither of us over at TBC are into "bizarro" fiction, but today we discover that this corner of literature exists and it sure lives up to its moniker.  The weirdest and creepiest thing about this episode is that...well, there were actually redeeming qualities about this book. Yes - a book called The Haunted Vagina wasn't the worst thing we've ever read. The author somehow managed to create believa...

It's October, so this episode is the first in our series of spooky books in honor of the season. After a long day of stocking up on fun size candy bars, putting together a cool costume, and decorating your yard with fake spiderwebs, you're just  dying  to curl up with a Halloween-themed mystery that stars a living skeleton, right?...right?...sure. This book was recommended by friend-of-the-show, K...

Another week, another screenplay disguised as a book. This one is a real Russian nesting doll of poor choices. Thanks to Bob from Books, Beards, & Booze for recommending this one to us!  Content Warnings: blood, death, fights between women, gore, injury, & misogyny.

Our Patron Jensina chose this book as their once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon  here  to get this and other rewards for yourself. In addition to our usual barnyard language, Content Warnings this week include: generalized violence, guns, military stuff, murder, and some brief jokes with sexual themes. Chris and Paris become Blind Date and Merlot to fight a terrible book from another galax...

Someone cast Meteor on Chris's computer and this episode and the associated bonus Patreon content was almost lost. Luckily, his back-up Lifestream kicked in and saved the files, but not without sacrificing the computer itself to do so. Chris's brother Adam joins us as a guest today. Oops!  When Paris says "Steel Magnolias" she actually means the movie "Magnolia".

GET YOUR PINKLE JINXXXXXXED!!! This book came to our attention through an anonymous recommendation. Thank you, anonymous person, and we hope you enjoy this episode.

Although not strictly necessary, we recommend listening to this episode along with the other Maradonia episodes in the following order: Episode 11 - Maradonia and the Seven Bridges Episode 62 - Maradonia and the Escape from the Underworld Episode 63 - Maradonia and the Gold of Ophir Episode 86 - The Secret of Moon Lake Episode 87 - Maradonia and the Law of Blood This book was chosen by our patron...

Although not strictly necessary, we recommend listening to this episode along with the other Maradonia episodes in the following order: Episode 11 - Maradonia and the Seven Bridges Episode 62 - Maradonia and the Escape from the Underworld Episode 63 - Maradonia and the Gold of Ophir Episode 86 - The Secret of Moon Lake Episode 87 - Maradonia and the Law of Blood This episode is for Robert (Bobby)...

We're roasting ourselves again! We decided that it was time to review past missteps and things we were wrong about on air. We try to keep this show conversational and familiar, but the consequence of that at times is that one of us will say something that isn't quite right, downright false, or kinda cringe-y. It's only fair that we re-evaluate ourselves on a show that centers on criticism. This is...

This time, we're roasting ourselves! We decided that it was time to review past missteps and things we were wrong about on air. We try to keep this show conversational and familiar, but the consequence of that at times is that one of us will say something that isn't quite right, downright false, or kinda cringe-y. It's only fair that we re-evaluate ourselves on a show that centers on criticism. Th...

The editor for this series posted about how bad the writing was in a Facebook group called Men Failing at Erotica.  We happened to see the post and another TBC episode was born. Thanks to Preston for bringing this one to our attention! Content Warning! In addition to our usual barnyard language, this week we've got: drug trafficking/drug use, forced prostitution, guns, kidnapping, murder, sex, and...

After seeing #puppetgate trending on Twitter, Chris and Paris dive into the script of the play All in a Row with our friend Adam. Adam is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst with a MA in Applied Behavior Analysis and a decade of experience working with children with autism in residential and classroom settings. In addition to our usual barnyard language, this episode's content warnings include: abl...

This time, we figured we'd try to help you understand and - more importantly - laugh with us at The Mueller Report. It's a 448 page U.S. government report with over 1,000 footnotes that few people were really going to read the entirety of, so we figured we'd help you all out and read this for you. We've never read a report before on the show, so this is a first. Aside from our usual barnyard langu...

Our Patron Signe chose this book as her once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon  here  to get this and other rewards for yourself. In addition to our usual barnyard language, Content Warnings this week include: abuse/assault, captivity, cannibalism, murder, and generalized violence. At long last, we've read another book that we actually didn't hate! I think we're at a rate of liking a book app...

Our Patron Greg chose this book as his once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon  here  to get this and other rewards for yourself. In addition to our usual barnyard language, Content Warnings abound this week: abuse/assault, murder, racism, rape, sex/pornography, sexism, and violence. Our patron Greg really made us work for our Patreon dollars this week. Bruce Dickinson sings for Iron Maiden bu...

This week  we learn how to (not) defend ourselves with objects through a book infamous for its imagery!  Thanks to our friend Chris H. for posting some images from this book on Facebook, which inspired Paris to do a reverse image search and discover this lost treasure from 1991. We're joined by special guest Paul Lowe to guide us through the world of martial arts. Paul has studied Muay Thai and MM...

April Fool's! Tomorrow you'll get your regularly scheduled TBC episode , but for today we're switching episodes with The Short Stories of Augie Peterson   as a fun April Fool's Day exercise to expose our respective listeners to something new. Augie's playing one of our episodes on her feed today while we bring you Augie's review of the social media horror movie  Friend Request. We recommend you al...

Somehow we're reading another Christian-leaning, dog related book with strange authorship. We really don't know how this happened again. Thanks to longtime friend of the show Elisa for recommending this one! Content Warning: In addition to our usual barnyard language, we've got: inter-species breastfeeding and menstruation (brief mention). Apparently we were wrong about inter-species breastfeeding...

Our Patron Lynn chose this book as their once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon  here  to get this and other rewards for yourself. No substantial Content Warnings this week - brief mentions of death and terrorist attacks/shootings,  and discussion of an infamous scene from the movie Blue Velvet but otherwise you've got nothing but our usual barnyard language to be concerned about. Armed with...