Terrible Book Club

We've somehow been doing this for 100 episodes! We read a sci-fi horror short story with poor pacing and character development, then move on to the inaugural Terrible Book Club Awards! Afterward, we answer a few listener/patron questions and discuss how the show and we as hosts have changed in the last 5 years. Thanks to YouTube user AwfulBookClub for recommending we read They Came with the Snow b...

Today we read a book that was recommended to us on Twitter over a year ago by Twitter user @GeneCurl. The Demon Pig is a clever, fun fantasy novel full of delightful animal characters, but it narrowly misses the opportunity to be a truly great parody. If you're just looking for a spot of cheer with sharp jokes that pokes a bit of fun at the fantasy genre, though, get a copy for yourself! Content w...

Chris found When TRUMPets Ring: The Battle - A True Story by Gregory Hetzer out in the wild on the C-SPAM thread on the SomethingAwful forums. Yes, I have stairs in my house...do YOU have stairs? This book is the author's attempt at an autobiography meant to encourage the reader to embrace his pro-life, anti-abortion stance. No matter what your opinion on abortion, though, we can all come out from...

Happy U.S. Election Day! We all need some extra entertainment today, so we're airing this episode a week early. We read a book of feminist cartoons and learn that humor has shifted a lot since the late 1970s in America. Sadly, little else has shifted very much, though  - like equal treatment under the law, healthcare, and the dominance of fossil fuels... which is a great reminder to vote today if...

We read this book at the request of our Patron Will as part of his Patreon  rewards. If you, too, would like to force us to read a book, head over to our  Patreon  and select the $10/month tier. On page 2 of Universal Harvester, you're already invested in the mystery: what's being spliced into the tapes at the local video rental store - snuff; child abuse; human trafficking? If you lived during th...

Late Bloomer is a perfectly good gay billionaire erotic romance novel (if that's the sort of thing you're looking for). It even has realistic internal monologues and dialogue along with believable characters! However, it's written in the "a/b/o/omegaverse" parallel universe that Paris and Chris have a hard time understanding. We read this book at the request of our Patron D as part of their Patreo...

We read this book at the request of our Patron Jakub as part of their Patreon  rewards. If you, too, would like to force us to read a book, head over to our  Patreon and select the $10/month tier. What if Covid-19 was a man - and you loved that man? Do neural networks produce bad books just like human authors? Content warnings:  Our usual barnyard language, plus: Covid-19 and graphic sexual conten...

Come along with us, listeners, to the fabled land of The Dunks where all value is now held in gallons of iced coffee, and all inter-state sports travel requires the hiring of Mad Max militias. P ublished in 2018 and illustrated by Elijah Stanfield, The Tuttle Twins and the Fate of the Future  encourages your children to ask, "Should we coerce others to get what we want?" Content warnings: Our usua...

We read  Flashback this week at the request of our Patron J as part of their Patreon  rewards. If you, too, would like to force us to read a book, head over to our  Patreon  and select either the $5 or $10/month tier. Our best approximation of  Flashback is, "sci-fi noir alt-right doomsday fairy tale." You have been warned. Short-story mentioned around the 20-minute mark: Outside the KFC by Claudi...

We read The Little Stranger this week at the request of our Patron Veronica as part of her Patreon rewards. If you, too, would like to force us to read a book, head over to our Patreon and select either the $5 or $10/month tier. If you're into authentic post-war 1940s England, British class struggles, big 'ol houses that are falling apart, and ghosts, we've got the book for you! However, if you ar...

Get your bingo cards ready ! We've invited the Antiques Freaks over to our place again to read yet another story from  Carnacki the Ghost Finder.  This time, we tackle The Gateway of the Monster.  Chris treats us to some expert scoring and sound effects while Paris insults the entirety of the British isles with her awful fake accent.

Paris and Chris return to the very horny Midlands with our woods guide, TJ! He helped us out when we read Stone of Tears , and he was so invaluable that we put a Rada-Han on him and forced him to guide us through Blood of the Fold,  too. Although not strictly necessary, we recommend listening to the 2 other episodes we've done regarding the Sword of Truth series before starting this one: Episode 3...

This week we discuss another book that Chris found out in the real world at a local book store: a self-help book that's based on the 1939 film The Wizard of Oz.  If you've got difficult problems in life and choices to make, just think - What Would Dorothy Do? Content Warnings: Just our usual barnyard language and a brief mention of sexual assault.

Although not strictly necessary, we recommend listening to these 4 other episodes before starting this one in the following order: Episode 11 - Maradonia and the Seven Bridges Episode 62 - Maradonia and the Escape from the Underworld Episode 63 - Maradonia and the Gold of Ophir Episode 86 - The Secret of Moon Lake This book was chosen by our patron Dari as part of her Patreon reward. If you, too,...

Today's book was read at the behest of our patron Ciaran. Thanks so much for supporting the show, Ciaran! Check out our Patreon  here  to get this and other rewards for yourself. Sofia Nova is the new identity of Gloria Tesch. Free from her father's direct influence, she has written a new book outside of the world of Maradonia (though with some noticeable carry-over, from mermaids to boys who  jus...

Our patron Signe bought this book thinking it was written by an author she actually liked - Mark Edwards. Unfortunately, The Woman You Marry  was written by Mark A. Edwards. We're pretty sure that Mark A. Edwards is not a human being but rather a poorly constructed AI who was fed books by the real author Mark Edwards and programmed to write a short story. Our Patron Signe chose this book as their...

Chris's book scouting in the real world yielded today's book, which we didn't totally dislike! It may not be for us, but there's some good writing in here and great character portraits. That being said, it's another heavy episode today so please be prepared for the below content warnings before you embark on the journey of Episode 84. Content warnings: Today we've got our usual barnyard language,...

Our favorite  Antiques Freaks,  D & Ken, are back! In ghost form! We decide that space IS ghosts, have a ghost horse gobble-neighing contest, and try to figure out how the hell this short story from 1910 was ever considered a pre-cursor to Lovecraft.

Get your candles and bad couplets ready - we're goin' Bitchcraftin'! You can watch a video of us recording this on Twitch until 4/25/2020: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/590324686

We recorded this episode as a live stream on Twitch, so if you want to see AND hear us, you can check it out here: https://www.twitch.tv/terriblebookclub Our Patron Lynn chose this book as their once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon here  to get this and other rewards for yourself. Oops! Paris meant to say "denigration" of experts, not "degeneration"

Listener Martin Ford recommended this to us and we  had to read it because it seemed so absurd. How could a book like this win a literary award? A book about a librarian having sex with a bear can't possibly be good. ...but it was. This book was actually quite great, all things considered. Thanks again to Martin for the recommendation! Content Warnings: In addition to our usual barnyard language,...

This week it's 1985 and we're two children in an off-brand "Plot - It - Yourself" horror story. Chris wants to die as quickly as possible while Paris chooses life. Paris's microphone is backwards, Chris can't stop creating new lyrics for a bad 90s song, and we play another round of  Power Rangers Monster or Weed Strain? Content Warnings: Pretty sure we've just got our usual barnyard language for y...

Chris asked a bookstore employee to take him to the worst book they had seen lately, so we ended up getting BLASTED by this BOOKSHOT from James Patterson.  Audio quality warning: Chris accidentally positioned Paris's mic backwards so her audio is gonna' be a bit roomier than normal. Sorry! Content Warnings: In addition to our usual barnyard language, we discuss murder, poisoning, use of the word g...

We learn to control everyone with this ONE WEIRD TRICK! Chris tries to hypnotize Paris into loving bad books. This material was so short and devoid of substance that we once again play a guessing game. This time, Paris creates a game based on Amazon book SEO for Chris to play that he christens Not on Top.

We begin this episode by arguing about tigers and lions and eventually make our way to discussing the mechanics of human and tiger-man mating. This book as a whole wasn't totally terrible though it does rely on a lot of noir/private eye stereotypes. Once again, friend-of-the-show Hillary spotted this book in the wild and donated it to us. Content Warnings: In addition to our usual barnyard languag...