Terrible Book Club

This week, we're simultaneously in both the years 1953 and 1692. Luckily our friends D & Ken from the Antiques Freaks podcast have arrived to help us interpret  The Crucible . Ken has more sticky notes than pages inside his copy of the play, D teaches us about the House Un-American Activities Committee, Paris is perfectly sober unlike the last time the Antiques Freaks were guests on the show, and...

We received an anonymous recommendation to read this book. It is easily one of the most concentrated forms of delirium ever put to text. The Sunny Films website:  https://sites.google.com/site/sunnyproductionfilms/ The interactive flash 'game' linked on the Sunny Films site that Paris found and got way too into later in the episode:  http://htwins.net/scale2/ GIF of Paris trying to read the senten...

This time , we're dead and trying to figure out just what to do with these incorporeal forms of ours. Luckily, a copy of David Straume's Beginner's Guide to Sex in the Afterlife was waiting here for us when we arrived in Purgatory.  This book certainly seemed like it was going to teach us about having sex in the afterlife. It did no such thing. Instead, the author just  told us a whole lot of thin...

Ah, cats - who doesn't love a good cat video or cat meme? The world is full of cat-themed things, so it's only natural that a cat fantasy series would eventually appear. If you really love cats, the collective corporate consciousness that is Erin Hunter has got you covered! The Warriors series (more commonly known as the Warrior Cats series) has cat nurses, leaders, queens, fights, and enough comp...

A guy who reviews cartoons and is really invested in creating a cartoon series himself wrote a children's chapter book in the universe that he's been creating for a few years. There's nothing wrong with this concept on the surface. Peer deeper into the chocolate puddle, though, and you'll find a horrifying interpretation of reality where children run the entire world and the unintended consequence...

No real content warnings this week except for one off-hand misogynistic statement by a single character! There IS a weird scene that could be interpreted as being uh...dendrophilic, but unless you're really freaked out by a little tree kissing there's nothing too off-putting in this episode. We partake in some mystical bright bud and wander into the trippy wastelands with Brixia and Uta, the adven...

Fritz Leiber may have coined the term "sword and sorcery" and he may have written some legendary stories, but this book is not   to be counted among those same accomplishments. Content Warning! Drugs, generalized violence, racism, sex, slavery, & weapons (guns/knives). Line-to-line, the writing is actually pretty good and the dialogue is believable in the world of the book. There's even some great...

Don't be fooled! Darrel Day didn't write this - or even edit it, apparently - he just put it on the internet for his friend, Terry Bandemer. Which is fine! It's nice to help your friend put out their book - but why put your name on it as the author when you didn't write it? This is Terry's autobiography. It's generic non-fiction; just a look at a random man's life as a K9 officer in Minnesota betw...

Happy Halloween! Enjoy this episode one day early as a treat from the Terrible Book Club. Crabs - The Human Sacrifice  was suggested by reddit user dickdastardly and voted on by listeners as a spooky book for October. Content warning!  This episode contains discussion and graphic descriptions of: blood, bleeding, crabs, cutting, disease, dismemberment, drugs, masturbation, ritual sacrifice, sexual...

Far away and 40 books ago, we read Marked, the first book in the House of Night Series by mother-daughter duo Kristen & P.C. Cast . It was the second book we read for the podcast and the first book we threw across a room (that's not an exaggeration). Today, we've decided to return to the House of Night for a second helping of outrageous caricatures of teenagers trapped within a love rhombus - just...

Our Patron Veronica chose this book as her once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon  here  to get this and other rewards for yourself. We've got a real intro now! Let us know what you think. Things get serious on TBC this week. This episode is not terribly funny and we've got some content warnings for you: eating disorders (anorexia), exercise disorders, alcohol, weapons, violence, & sexual ass...

This book feels like the author created a massive dartboard where each section was a completely random idea or topic, put on a blindfold, threw darts, and chose what she would put in the book based on where those darts landed. If any of you are or know someone who is an expert on Old Norse, Old English, or Middle English, Paris wants to talk to you because she has some linguistic bones to pick wit...

This time, we read an X-Files novel sanctioned by Chris Carter and it was just as pulpy as we expected. If you miss Mulder, Scully, and their crazy case files, you should check out this episode. Topics include nanotechnology, a very particular form of animal testing, and a special segment about Paris's dreams!

Since this book takes place 200 years in the past, we figured we needed some experts on old stuff! D & Ken from Antiques Freaks join us this week to read  Johnny Tremain . D helps us understand silversmithing while Ken defends his doctoral thesis on Johnny's homosexuality. Throughout it all, Paris is inebriated and at the limits of functionality; Chris wishes this episode ended 30 minutes ago.

Cops that are dogs and dogs that are cops co-star in this sex-less Christian romance with an unreasonably long title! This story tries to cash in on the cross section of people who are Christian, fetishize men in uniform, and are really into dogs.

Ah, yes - remember being in love so fiercely that you disobeyed your parents, ran naked through the forest all evening, worshiped nature gods, and contacted the multiverse when you were SIX YEARS OLD? No? Yeah...probably not. Rich Shapero takes us on another drug fueled romp through the wilds of Alaska in this successor to  Wild Animus , except this time the main characters are two six year old ch...

If you're tired of plots and characters, this episode was made just for you! This time we read a book of poetry loosely held together by western gender norms, redundancy, and poor word choices. Paris reveals her theory about the hidden message behind these poems that will blow the lid off of everything you ever thought was true about Woman Worship by Dean Jean-Pierre! Luckily, Chris and Paris are...

Have you ever really liked a band? Have you ever liked a band so much that you thought you found evidence in their lyrics that their frontman had lived previous lives and a demon helped you figure it out? Well hey, so did this author! This book IS arguably a biography of Trent Reznor and sort of Nine Inch Nails, but is also an argument about the validity of past lives and the existence of demons o...

Burning witches, evil dads and uncles, more foreshadowing than one could ever need, the most obviously evil necklace of all time, and - of course - unrequited love all rear their heads in this one! Paris has been binging the Goosebuds podcast and was inspired to get spooky for Episode 33! Chris and Paris return to childhood to read the first installment in the Fear Street Saga series that explains...

Can we interest you in some crawfish? Perhaps other types of seafood? Some jazz? How about some gay erotica? If you answered "yes" to any or all of these questions, you'll love this 30 page short story that masquerades as a book! Thanks (?) to D from Antiques Freaks for alerting us to the existence of this...thing. Disclaimer: We're not usually SFW, but this episode contains graphic descriptions o...

This time we read a short, double feature book with two fantasy/sci-fi novellas that were packaged together for seemingly no apparent reason: Lands of the Earthquake by Henry Kuttner Under A Dim Blue Sun by Howie K. Bentley Are they together because Howie Bentley really loved Kuttner and wanted to publish his stories again posthumously? Is it because they both have humanoid cat men? We'll probably...

In this in-between books episode, it's game time! Chris read a guide/miniature self-help book called  Chakra Crystals by Kate Tomas about meditation and magical rocks and  Paris tries to guess what each crystal is supposed to mean and what chakras are. We learn that crystals are alive and can be enslaved to your needs - neat! Meanwhile, Paris has curated a game of Two Truths & A Lie with 6 categor...

This time on Terrible Book Club, we read a book that wasn't truly terrible! Wow! It happened!   We also have special guest Laura Filippi on to educate us about Florida, alligator farms, and alligator wrestling! Paris & Chris talk about their first piece of negative fan mail! Ultimately, Swamplandia!  has some issues, but overall it was not painful to read, the characters speak like genuine human b...

Episode 28 is all about ghosts, mediums, and how Long Island seems to be some kind of breeding ground for psychics. If you're a skeptic of supernatural phenomenon or have ever wondered about the John Edwards and Sylvia Browns of the world, this episode is for you. Oh and, uh, Paris & Chris just want you to know that you have a great need for other people to like and admire you and even though you...

Our Patron Dari chose this book as her once-per-year reward! Check out our Patreon  here  to browse our reward structure and consider donating. Dragon Prince is a basic fantasy novel with medieval internet on light beams, dragon mating details, minor dragon ecology, and mostly decent dialogue. The book is divided into two sections and the latter section is where things take a turn for the terrible...