Tentpole Trauma

If any filmmaker was capable of bringing the horrific insanity of HP Lovecraft to the big screen in the mid 90s, it was John Carpenter. Though not a direct adaptation of any specific Lovecraft work, 1994’s In the Mouth of Madness boasts the talents of madmen Sam Neill and Jurgen Prochnow, but failed to make an impression at the box office. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they summon the Old Ones an...

By the mid-eighties the Friday the 13th franchise was all but unstoppable; even part 4’s promise of being “the final chapter” became an empty promise when the box office receipts came in. But despite the fresh start implied by the title, Danny Steinman’s Friday the 13th: A New Beginning got a stale reception from critics and threatened to end the hockey masked slasher series once and for all. Join...

Riding high of a decade of triumph, Disney was hoping to capture the boy demographic with their Jules Verne inspired adventure Atlantis: The Lost Empire. But despite impressive, CG enhanced animation and a strong voice cast led by Michael J. Fox and Leonard Nimoy, the film was the first Disney animated feature in over a decade to disappoint at the box office. Join Sebastian and Richard as they dec...

Helping to usher in the sword and sorcery boom of the early 80s, Matthew Robbins’ Dragonslayer was a big budget extravaganza that required the financing of both Paramount and Disney studios. But despite delivering jaw-dropping effects and a solid hero’s journey storyline, the film failed to catch the box office fire necessary to justify its considerable expense. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they...

Riding high off his smash hit The Exorcist, director William Friedkin decided his follow-up would be a big budget remake of Henri Clouzot’s seminal suspense film Wages of Fear. Friedkin’s effort, inexplicably retitled Sorcerer, was a brutal South American shoot with Jaws star Roy Scheider in the lead, but a little movie called Star Wars exploded on to the scene, leaving Sorcerer to break down at t...

Part two of pulp hero appreciation continues with everyone’s favorite purple-suited, jungle dwelling crime fighter, the Phantom! Batman meets Indiana Jones was likely the elevator pitch that sold Paramount pictures on adapting Lee Falk’s long-running comic strip, but despite the able efforts of Billy Zane, Treat Williams, Catherine Zeta Jones and Kristy Swanson, the Ghost Who Walks took a nosedive...

Who knows what box office disappointments lurk in the hearts of men? Coming in the — pun intended — shadow of Tim Burton’s mega hit Batman, 1994’s The Shadow tried to capture a similar pulpy magic. But despite a strong turn by Alec Baldwin in the titular role, the hoped-for superhero franchise never materialized. Join Sebastian and Matt as they pluck the weed of crime and taste the bitter fruit of...

Look… up in the sky… it’s a bird… it’s a dame… it’s… a big budget flop! The Superman franchise was starting to stumble by the time Supergirl made her big screen debut in 1984, and despite the star power of Faye Dunaway and Peter O’Toole the film proved further kryptonite at the box office and with critics. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they unravel the mysteries of the omegahedron and take flight...

Armed with a high-priced Shane Black script and starring Bruce Willis at the height of his action hero stardom, Tony Scott’s The Last Boy Scout was poised to be a 1991 Christmas season juggernaut. But lackluster reviews and a disappointing box office take tarnished the film’s reputation until it emerged as a cult classic several decades later. Join Sebastian and Rodney at the kickoff line as they...

Reuniting the team behind Scream for a post-modern take on the werewolf genre seemed like a dream…until it devolved into a nightmare. Years of reshoots and production hell truly earned Wes Craven’s Cursed its name, and when it eventually hit theaters in 2005 audiences and critics were howling for blood. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they attempt to reevaluate and show pity for this catastrophic l...

2012’s Snow White and the Huntsman was something of a surprise hit, so it’s no surprise that Universal Studios ordered a sequel. Unfortunately by the time 2016 rolled around both director Rupert Sanders and star Kristen Stewart were off on other projects, leaving Chris Hemsworth and Charlize Theron to shoulder the film along with newcomers Jessica Chastain and Emily Blunt, resulting in an icy rece...

The film industry was hungry for fantasy franchises after the success of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, and while Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials series didn’t seem an obvious choice, there was certainly potential in its alternate dimensional vision and chosen one narrative. But despite the presence Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig, Eva Green and cgi polar bears, Chris Weitz’s muddled effort,...

Hopes were high for the launch of Universal’s “Dark Universe”, a full slate of high profile, interconnected, big budget blockbusters that would revive the classic line-up of Universal Monsters. With mega-star Tom Cruise tapped to headline the first official effort — an action packed reboot of The Mummy directed by A-list writer Alex Kurtzman — success seemed all but inevitable, and yet the film ta...

The Predator franchise was in something of a fallow period by the end of the previous decade, so when it was announced that genre hotshot Shane Black would be resurrecting the series, along with former collaborator Fred Dekker, there was cause for excitement among film fans. Sadly the end result was not the action/sci fi horror film most had hoped for — so what went wrong? Join badasses Sebastian,...

In hindsight the odd marriage of burgeoning director Brian De Palma and superstar songwriter Paul Williams seems a recipe for 70s era success, but sadly their Faustian collaboration Phantom of the Paradise met with little appreciation at the time. Since then it has grown into a cult classic among genre fans, but is this twisted, glam rock take on The Phantom of the Opera worthy of such status? (Sp...

Cinematic adaptations of bestselling author Stephen King are often a safe bet, and yet neither attempts at bringing his novel Firestarter to the big screen have generated significant heat at the box office. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they discuss both the Drew Barrymore 1984 version and the recent Zac Efron 2022 attempt and see if there’s any potential to be kindled from this pyrokinetic intel...

Possibly the most interesting director to emerge in the last decade is Robert Eggers, so the news that he was crafting a 90 million dollar Viking blockbuster with his tireless penchant for verisimilitude was cause for celebration among film fans. Featuring hulking Norse god Alexander Skaarsgard as well as Nicole Kidman, Ethan Hawke and Willem Dafoe, the movie did not disappoint — except at the box...

Riding the trend of YA dystopian adaptations and with the power of Peter Jackson behind it, Christian Rivers’ big budget steampunk extravaganza was poised to crush the competition when it hit theaters in 2018. But this engine stalled badly, racking up an embarrassing box office take and crashing the hopes of a fresh new sci fi franchise. Join Sebastian and Steve as they steamroll through the good,...

The stories of the Brothers Grimm have endured throughout history, and arguably no director is better suited to adapting them than the wildly imaginative and irreverent Terry Gilliam. And yet, when his take on the material, starring hot stars Matt Damon and Heath Ledger, hit screens in 2005, it went virtually unnoticed. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they journey into the enchanted forest and try...

A resurrection of the Robocop franchise was in the works for nearly a decade, and the post Marvel superhero boom seemed a perfect time to debut a new take on a crime fighting cyborg cop. But despite the best efforts of director Jose Padilha and a stellar cast featuring Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton and Joel Kinnaman, the 2014 remake missed the mark with fans and ticket buyers. Join Rodney and Sebast...

In 2001 both Robin Williams and Edward Norton were at the peak of their careers, so a black comedy team-up that lampoons the Barney the dinosaur phenomenon seemed a solid concept on paper. Add Danny DeVito as director and co-star, as well as a 50 million dollar budget — what could possibly go wrong? Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they sing joyous songs for the children and try to understand why De...

Director Walter Hill was riding high off the success of The Warriors and 48 Hrs when he was given the green light to make his high budget rock n’ roll fable Streets of Fire. But despite the presence of rising stars Diane Lane and Willem Dafoe and a heavy presence on MTV thanks to Dan Hartman’s hit single “I Can Dream About You”, the film flopped hard with critics and audiences. Join Sebastian and...

In 1995 the post apocalyptic genre was in full swing, so an adaptation of a hip, grunge friendly indie comic book property like Tank Girl looked like a good idea. Sadly, the resulting film from Rachel Talalay, built around the strange charisma of star Lori Petty, was a critical and box office cataclysm. Join Sebastian, Chris and Rodney as they fire up the heavy artillery and get down with Ice T as...

The prospect of grafting an outdated radio serial superhero onto a Seth Rogen comedy by way of surrealist filmmaker Michel Gondry seemed dicey by the most generous metrics, and the resulting effort, 2011’s The Green Hornet, failed to live up to even modest expectations. But is it really the trainwreck its poor box office take and critical reception suggests? Join Sebastian, Jennifer and superfan M...

Considering the success of 2016’s Suicide Squad, a solo outing focusing on Margot Robbie’s celebrated portrayal of super villainess Harley Quinn seemed a no-brainer for the struggling DCEU. But despite a winning female team both in front and behind the camera, Birds of Prey and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn failed to deliver the box office windfall the character deserved. Join S...