Tentpole Trauma

It’s always a challenge to bring a cult comic book character to the big screen successfully; in the case of 2000 AD’s gruff, helmeted lawgiver Judge Dredd, the attempt was made twice, both in 1995 and 2012. Despite the presences of Sylvester Stallone and Karl Urban in the titular role neither attempt drew in big box office, but at least one take emerged from the scorched earth as something of a cu...

While no one was expecting Richard Kelly’s 2001 sci fi brain-boiler Donnie Darko to be a tentpole film, it’s meager box office returns were disappointing even for such a low budget genre feature. But the film has garnered a significant legacy by introducing the world to both Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal, and is now revered as a cult classic by lovers of gonzo cinema. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as t...

Excalibur meets Star Wars — in 1983 that elevator pitch was all that was needed to green light the big budget sci fi fantasy epic Krull. But despite a seasoned director at the helm and high production values — as well as then unknown Liam Neeson and Robbie Coltrane in supporting roles — the film landed with a thud at the box office. Join Sebastian, Troy and Richard as they wield the Glaive to...

Double the Will Smith means double the boffo box office, right? Well, when it came to Ang Lee’s 2019 sci fi spy thriller Gemini Man, not so much. Despite Lee’s assured direction and the star power of Big Willy in dual roles, the film failed to generate any action at the box office or with critics. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Viewer Discretion Advised’s VQ as they battle their younger selves to de...

We’re doubling down on trauma this week by discussing two Terminator films in one episode! How can a once blockbuster sci fi franchise that  sprang from the mind of James Cameron fail to revive itself twice in a row? Join a sent from the future Sebastian and Malcontent Media’s Sean Farina as they say hasta la vista baby to both 2015’s Terminator Genisys and 2019’s Terminator Dark Fate!

A Men in Black ripoff starring Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Bridges as mismatched afterlife cops — who wouldn’t want that right? Well, it turns out pretty much no one, but that doesn’t mean that Robert Schwentke’s 2013 box office bomb isn’t worth discussing! Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they exhume the nearly forgotten exquisite corpse of this ill-conceived Boston based supernatural action comedy.

Ahoy mateys! The careers of director Renny Harlin and star Geena Davis were as hot as their romance in 1995, so what better way to celebrate their love than to make a mega budget pirate movie? Unfortunately for the couple, the resulting effort was a box office bomb so massive it landed in the Guinness Book of Records, but is it really that much of a shipwreck? Join Sebastian, Jennifer and Richard...

Attempting to capitalize on Johnny Depp and Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean heat with a fresh take on a classic western IP probably seemed like a good idea back in 2013. Add to that rising star and cannibal fetishist Armie Hammer as a co-lead and what could possibly go wrong kemosabe? Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they climb aboard Gore Verbinski’s 250 million dollar box office trainwreck...

It took nearly 20 years, but Warner studios finally managed to coax the Wachowskis — well, one of them at least — to resurrect their most viable franchise, the Matrix. But considering the lackluster box office returns of The Matrix Resurrections, the world may not have been ready for Lana Wachowski’s bitter red pill of a movie. Join Sebastian, Chris and Rodney as they reconvene down the rabbit hol...

Take one of the most beloved Broadway musicals of all time and give it to the world’s greatest living director, and you’ve got a license to print money, right? Somehow Steven Spielberg’s adaptation of the Stephen Sondheim classic West Side Story stalled at the box office despite garnering stellar reviews — was it a victim of Covid, or has the audience’s appetite for singing and dancing simply fade...

Wachowskis' month comes to a close with their 2015 space opera Jupiter Ascending. Warner Brothers banked that the Wachowskis’ Cinderella meets Star Wars original IP would be the next big franchise, and with Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis bringing the onscreen sparks, success seemed written in the stars. Yet this sci fi fairytale didn’t have a happy ending and bombed big with both critics and audien...

Wachowskis' month continues with an epic discussion of all things Matrix! Expectations could not have been higher for the Matrix sequels following the seismic cultural impact of the first genre-defining film. But the response to Matrix Reloaded was somewhat muted when it dropped in the summer of 2003, so much so that when Matrix Revolutions opened a mere six months later, the reception was downrig...

Wachowskis' month continues at a breakneck pace with our discussion of Speed Racer! Teaming the Wachowskis with a classic anime property seemed a grand trophy proposition back in 2008, and the directing team certainly delivered in terms of daring visuals and inventive editing techniques. But despite winning a cult following in subsequent years, audiences and critics were not ready for this candy c...

Tentpole Trauma is celebrating the Wachowskis all month long, starting with perhaps their most audacious film, 2012’s Cloud Atlas. Adapting David Mitchell’s time hopping novel was never going to be an easy sell, but with the help of co-director Tom Tykwer and superstars Tom Hanks and Halle Berry in multiple roles, the Wachowskis felt up to the task. But the film was plagued by bad press due to som...

Sony had been looking to resurrect the Ghostbusters for the big screen for decades, but after many failed attempts, a full reboot finally materialized in 2016. But toxic fans were upset about director Paul Feig’s decision to go with an all female team, and despite an A-list cast featuring Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones the film failed to scare up the box office numb...

Scientology founder L Ron Hubbard’s sci fi epic Battlefield Earth had a light year journey to the big screen, but devoted acolyte John Travolta managed to leverage a big budget adaptation into theaters in the summer of 2000. Unfortunately the critical reaction was more apocalyptic than the film’s setting with Travolta’s dreadlocked alien antagonist eliciting worldwide mockery and director Roger Ch...

Handing Academy Award winner Halle Berry a superhero franchise seemed like a purr-fectly sound idea back in 2004, and her inherent sass and feline beauty seemed ideal for the role of Batman's main squeeze Catwoman. But an untested director and some poor story and design choices pointed to a potential cat-tastrophe, and the film arrived to mocking yowls from both critics and fans alike. But does it...

CAROL ANNE! Steven Spielberg and Tobe Hooper’s Poltergeist helped to reinvent the haunted house genre, spawning an 80s horror franchise that stood apart from the slasher wave. But despite a grave-ly disappointing 1st sequel and an unfortunate narrative that the films were somehow “cursed” due to the deaths of cast members, no one was prepared for how low things would go with director Gary Sherman’...

Disney were on a downturn for much of the late 70s and early 80s, but studio executives were hopeful that a lush adaptation of a classic Ray Bradbury novel might turn things around. Sadly, Jack Clayton’s spooky 1983 effort did not deliver the desired results, despite a strong cast that featured Jason Robards and Jonathan Pryce. But is this a carnival worth revisiting? Join Sebastian and Jennifer a...

Coming off of the 2007 remake of Halloween, hopes were high that auteur director and rocker Rob Zombie would deliver another pumpkin-smashing hit. But few were keen on the radical re-invention of iconic slasher Michael Myers, the proliferation of white trash hysterics and the addition of bizarre symbolic imagery. That said, could there be an artistic method to this blood-drenched madness? Join Seb...

John Carpenter’s low budget smash Halloween set the pace for early 80s horror, and after a successful sequel audiences were primed for more of lead slasher Michael Myers. So it came as an unwelcome shock when the Myers-less Halloween III Season of the Witch took a different and decidedly bizarre sci fi approach, one roundly rejected by critics and fans. But is this a mean-spirited trick or a misun...

Riding the sci fi wave started by Star Wars and Alien, the success of Saturn 3 seemed written in the stars. But despite the presence of 1980’s hottest pinup Farrah Fawcett and screen legend Kirk Douglas, Stanley Donen’s take on space horror crashed and burned with critics and  audiences. Join Sebastian, Jennifer and screenwriter Marc Gottlieb as they disassemble this celestial Frankenstein’s...

A fantasy film helmed by Muppets maestro Jim Henson, starring and featuring music by rock sensation David Bowie, produced by Star Wars creator George Lucas, should have been a box office smash. Yet when the cinematic fruit of this collaborative powerhouse debuted in the summer of 1986, the puppet-heavy affair had all the audience appeal of a poison apple. Join Sebastian and Jennifer as they get lo...

Expectations were high for the big budget adaptation of the blockbuster Ubisoft video game, and with Michael Fassbender in the starring role, Assassin’s Creed was poised to kill at the box office. But despite some thrilling visuals audiences and critics did not take to the confounding plot and mythology, and the Creed met with resounding defeat. Join Sebastian, Steve and Rodney as they take the le...

The Batman film franchise was operating at peak bat-power following  director Joel Schumacher’s smash hit Batman Forever, and with new caped  crusader George Clooney in the cowl and superstar Arnold Schwarzenegger chillin’ like a villain as Mr. Freeze, Batman & Robin was poised for world domination. But the film’s over-the-top camp proved too much for fans, critics and general audien...