Talking With Dr Toy

As Mental Health Awareness month comes to a close, please remember that taking care of your mental health takes place 365 days a year. Awareness of Cup fillers and drainers are vital for maintaining your mental health. One cup drainer to recognize is energy vampires. "Energy vampires are people who sap your emotional energy either intentionally or unconsciously. They could be friends, family membe...

Filling your cup is not a luxury, it is truly a necessity. You are worthy to take 10 or 15 minutes from your schedule to nourish and take of yourself. You may have received messages that you're not worthy of such care, however, you are and you can make that decision to be intentional about your self-care. Please take some sacred pauses and discover ways to improve your health, preserve your peace,...

Filling your cup is not a luxury, it is truly a necessity. You are worthy to take 10 or 15 minutes from your schedule to nourish and take of yourself. You may have received messages that you're not worthy of such care, however, you are and you can make that decision to be intentional about your self-care. Please take some sacred pauses and discover ways to improve your health, preserve your peace,...

Mother's Day is a significant reminder of all the work and love mother's have poured into their family, communities, and this nation. For some, today may bring about a range of emotions from happiness, gratefulness, sadness, grief, and even regret. However, you may navigate this day, please make sure you stay connected with your experience and give yourself a cup of grace.  A wonderful way to do t...

Many counselors speak to individuals about making sure they preserve their energy by encouraging them to fill their cup. Filling one's cup simply means ensuring that their heart, mind, and even soul is nurtured and nourished with things that bring energy and life. Life can either infuse or drain individuals energy and it is important to be aware and attentive of life's cup "fillers and drainers."...

Experiencing a constant state of being overwhelmed can adversely affect thoughts, emotions, and physical wellbeing. Although we can't always control external stressors, there are some strategies we can use to more effectively manage how we respond. Investing time by implementing certain strategies may assist in stabilizing mood and decreasing stress which may increase quality and quantity of life....

Resurrection or Easter Sunday is one of the most powerful days of remembrance in Christianity. It acknowledges the horrific tragedy of a crucified savior that ultimately led to one of the most powerful comebacks in history. As some celebrate and remember that sacrifice, there's also a lesson of redemption and power applicable to one's daily life. Although there are some dark moments in life where...

Many have experienced times when being overwhelmed was not only the emotional state of the day, but the week, and possibly months. In light of the current stressors, it is quite normal to be overwhelmed. Feeling overwhelmed indicates that "individuals' resources or resilience are not equal to the stressors they are experiencing". Signs of being overwhelmed may include low energy, feeling confused,...

Emotional numbness is a freeze response in that an individual's brain shuts down as a protective response to keep them safe when the nervous system is overloaded. Emotional numbness is helpful for awhile, but there may be consequences if it persists long-term. There are several ways to navigate emotional numbness such as mindfulness strategies, body awareness, and engaging the five senses. www.tal...

Survivor mode has been described as "An informal term to describe when a person is affected by a prolonged stress response." It is a protective mechanism the body employs to protect you from danger (fight/flight/freeze/fawn). There are many characteristics of survival mode such as difficulty focusing, inability to rest, and emotional numbness. Emotional numbness " refers to a state of reduced or a...

Now that you're anchoring it is time to take it up a level by finding ways to fill your cup. Many are searching for ways to find meaning in this current world where the unknown is very prevalent. One way to cultivate meaning is to take care of your inner world. What are you doing to settle and nurture your inner being? Dr. Bryant mentions taking sacred pauses and that may be the beginning of a jou...

Anchoring is a practice that assist with developing psychological flexibility and if there ever was a time to anchor, it surely is now. So many have expressed experiencing worry, anxiety, grief, and fear and do not know what to do to process and manage these emotions. There is not a cure all for what ills society, but there are somethings that may help in navigating some of the turbulence. One suc...

Anchoring is a coping strategy to increase psychological flexibility. Anchoring entails a strategy known as ACE. Acknowledge thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations, Come back to your body, and Engage in what you're doing. When we think about a ship that is tossed back and forth by the waves and the storms, sometimes, especially during times like these, our lives may resemble these battered ship...

Ubuntu is an ancient African word that means I am because you are. It embraces the idea that humans cannot exist in isolation. It denotes acknowledging the humanity within ourselves and within others. Robb asks two powerful questions concerning this concept: " What if what you want to be will only come about when you ensure that others get to be that as well? And what if all of humanity was on you...

Psychological flexibility is beneficial during times of adversity because when things seem out of control, experiencing, monitoring, and managing our reactions may be challenging but not impossible. It's easy and normal to become overwhelmed in times like these so stay attuned to how your system is responding.  Psychological flexibility entails being mindful and taking care of your well-being whic...

Let not your heart be trouble maybe a difficult pill to swallow in times like these. Some have expressed experiencing fear and anxiety, while others have opted to avoid or even deny some of the realities taking place in their lives. The question becomes, how do we navigate and manage difficult times, so they do not manage or overwhelm us? According to Goldman, psychological flexibility entails thr...

Goldman defines psychological flexibility as " staying in the present moment and being open to experiencing whatever thoughts or feelings may arise, and then take action that is aligned with our values." There are many demands placed on individuals' lives and learning ways to navigate such situations can induce stress and anxiety. Psychological flexibility allows individuals to adapt and react to...

Happy New Year! Each New Year brings a sense of hope, expectation, dread, fear, and even anxiety. In our efforts to cope with these various emotions, we may create resolutions and intentions as an insurance policy for the upcoming year. We may construct grand intentions often neglecting and negating the small beginnings to obtain our goals. We may adopt the mentality that big is always better and...

"The personal is political." Where you live and how you live is informed by politics. We live in this world and have a responsibility to friends, families, neighbors, and our ancestors. We are not above politics because we're steeped in it. If you've tuned out, please tune back in and do your due diligence to learn about the issues and the candidates. Then take action to ensure that your vote beco...

Many may be feeling intense emotions regarding the 2024 election cycle and as a result, anxiety and worry maybe all too consuming. This presents an opportune time to re-emphasize my mini mental health check-in. The mini mental health check-in consists of four simple questions: How am I really doing, What am I experiencing, How am I experiencing it, and What do I need? These simple questions may pr...

In a society where so much misinformation abounds, it's understandable why individuals experience trust issues. Sometimes trust issues may mean the difference between a healthy versus a toxic relationship. Addressing trust issues includes the following: Awareness, honesty, openness, and yes, vulnerability. There are some strategies to assist in this process If individuals are willing to work on an...

Although trust is considered an anchor of interpersonal relationships, many individuals may struggle with trust issues. There are many causes of trust issues and understanding them is the first step to working through them. Subsequent steps are also needed to work through them. According to one article, such strategies include understanding risks and taking emotional risks and comprehending the ma...

Trust issues have been defined as uncertainty of who to trust, how to trust, and when to trust. Individuals develop trust issues due to some of their past experiences and as a result, these issues may adversely affect present and future relationships. Trust issues serve as protective strategies to keep individuals safe so the objective is not solely to dismantle them but to understand and manage t...

Trust issues have been defined as uncertainty of who to trust, how to trust, and when to trust. Trust is a foundational attribute that can either strengthen or derail a relationship. Many individuals have experienced betrayal, manipulation, and abandonment and as a result, trust has been compromised or simply eroded. How can individuals navigate the landscape of understanding their trust issues an...

I was speaking with someone and the person said the following, "I don't want anyone to know what I'm going through because I'm embarrassed that I allowed it to happen and I don't want anyone to see my scars." Although we may not utter these exact words, I do believe some of us relate to this experience.  We are ashamed of the formation of scars resulting from living in a fallen world filled with i...