Talking Paragraphs

Powerful social media influencers Dan and Paul grapple with the least important issues of the day from the perspective of ordinary men.

1. Takes: Bag-licking good chips 2. Kyrie vs. Kanye in the antisemitic death match 3. Sports: Tennessee vs. Georgie: The South Has Risen; Kansas suspends Bill Self for four games for 2016 allegations; Washington football team is for sale 4. Yankee Fan Hell: Cashman or Boone. Fire one. Only one. 5. Aaron Judge: Keep or waive goodbye? 6. Wakanda Forever Happy Meals 7. Election: “Suburban women, no l...

The 99th outing of Talking Paragraphs has Dan and Paul distancing themselves from Kanye and everyone else for that matter.

Dan is awake for the entire episode and doesn’t devolve into word salad. It isn’t much of an improvement.

This podcast was recorded on a Tuesday before we knew all the things that we now know by Sunday when we usually record the podcast. Our ignorance is on display for your entertainment.

A pig in Australia steals 18 beers from campers, gets drunk, fights cow pop Olympic horse punching Bad service in Memphis McDonald’s The creepiness of Adult McDonald’s Happy Meal Toys — workers are stressed by adults wanting this shit Baseball medley — Judge, Otoni, Pujols, Braves on the rise, Mets shit the bed Tom Brady’s abstinence ritual drives Gisele away Paul hates the manning cast American o...

PODCAST TOPICS Sunday, October 2, 2022 1. Urgent care 2. Failed trip to Perkins 3. The Doink 4. Rooting for Kansas 5. Pizza Hut Detroit style 6. Happy Meal for adults 7. Aaron Judge 61 8. Don Mattingly and the 3 balls 9. Zero gravity soccer 10. Trevor Noah leaves Daily Show 11. Harrison Ford MCU

1. NyQuil chicken 2. Pujols hits 700 3. Dan is still sick 4. Long John Silver's website a juggernaut  5. Brady vs. Rodgers is a dull disappointment  6. Where's Paul?

Dan sick again Italian guy tests positive for HIV, monkeypox, COVID Reggie Miller for Wendy’s Danny Devito for Jersey Mike’s Kanye vs Gap Football review Nebraska vs OU Miami vs Texas A&M Bucs Saints Iowa vs Nevada Arsenal moment McDonald’s Queen closing She-Hulk show

Queen is dead Violence in Memphis People keep naming their kids Thanos Iowa football stinks OU football - Bob Stoops in the booth Texas - Alabama game Fansville ad Harmon Baker, a good thing from Memphis

Dan and Paul talk fall sports as baseball season winds down and college football winds up. Dan's recovering from COVID, but even he isn't as sickly as the Hawkeyes' offense. Oklahoma beats up UTEP, proving it's always fun to watch any school from Texas lose; Yankees' slide continues; a couple of other non-sports takes just for fun.

Dan stumbles through his first three days with students right into the heart of another COVID-19 infection; Paul carries the load, talking about his successful Arsenal squad, Dan's sinking Yankees team, and dumb ideas such as "She-Hulk" and "Clue."

Dan is out of his mind with anxiety as the time for students in his classroom approaches; Paul explains why he gives a hoot about the LIV-PGA spat; a bear cub gets high on 'mad honey,' and Finland's PM knows how to party; all this and more on the latest episode of Talking Paragraphs.

Dan on "Talk of Iowa;" Paul on Arsenal; Dan on "The Captain" and the Yankees; and other topics of minor import.

Dan and Paul honor #NationalBoobDay and complain about the "bent carrot" metaphor before Dan starts to fall asleep in the middle of the show and Paul saves the whole thing with a story about a dog and its owner playing Connect Four.

A goat simulator video game enters its third generation while robots with cat faces serve dim sum. Also: Twitter personality compares G.I. Joe figures of the past.

Memphis port authorities bust 90 pounds of illegal Italian snails. Toys R Us may return from the dead. Dan goes to the eye doctor for the first time since 1998. Speed round: "The Captain" documentary, upcoming Arsenal season, and Winnie the Pooh is a horror movie.

Dan and Paul welcome Cobra Commander, Destro, the Baroness, Major Bludd, and Zartan. Musical guests: Pantera. Our apologies to last week's guests, all of whom were bumped and the majority of whom, it turned out, were fictional characters. 

Dan and Paul welcome Darth Vader, Megatron, Mumm-Ra, and Skelator. Musical Guests: Eddie and the Cruisers. Our apologies to last week's guests, all of whom were bumped and a good number of whom were deceased. 

Dan and Paul welcome Jan Smithers , Loni Anderson , Gordon Jump , Richard Sanders , Frank Bonner , Tim Reid , and Howard Hessman . Musical Guest: Dethklok . Our apologies to last week's guests, all of whom were bumped, and a good number of whom are deceased.

Dan and Paul welcome Suzanne Sullivan, Gilbert and Sullivan, Sullivan and Son, Son of Bat Boy, and musical guest, Boy George. Our apologies to last week's guests, none of whom made it onto the program and some of whom we were later informed are deceased. 

Paul opens the show with sizzle. Dan reviews "Bonzo on the Road to Asguard." Guests: Emma Thompson, Hunter S. Thompson, John "Tommy Gun" Thompson, and the hot physics major who invited Dan and Paul to a party freshman year at Drake. All that and live music from Cold Slither.

Unhappiest age? 47.2. Trinity Rodman is better at soccer than her dad is at being a dad. Dan tells one too many Coke jokes. Paul pushes the limits of friendship with news texts. Responding to listener comments.

The defamation trials of former spouses Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are finally over. How long before FX does a 10-part miniseries like O.J.? The rest is fun meandering through topics that are in no way pre-organized and, once discussed, are largely forgotten by the people who discussed them. However, we think you'll enjoy this easy-going conversation between two old friends. And if not, well, it'...

Listener Nancy Gilchrest wrote in to compliment a show we did without prepared topics. Since this was the first and only feedback we've received, we decided to remake the whole show. Paul opened the snow from Memphis. We just meandered from topic to topic. We referred to things young people wouldn't understand. Enjoy!