Talking Paragraphs

In 1972, Dan and Paul were sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped into the void between Des Moines and Memphis. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as podcasters of fortune. If need to listen to a podcast — and no other, better podcast is available — maybe you can listen to "Talking Paragraphs."

Welcome to Talking Paragraphs, the podcast that is so incoherent half of the people involved don't remember its name. Topics that we at least intended to discuss: The meaning of "faff" and why you should embrace it. Pete Davidson vs. Cocaine Bear Phone answer etiquette for clones. We can't talk about "Relative Justice." We barely talk about "Hemlock Grove" on...

Two unremarkable men discuss unimportant topics for their own amusement. Listen in and maybe you'll be amused. If not, it doesn't matter. We both have jobs. We have no illusions about becoming social media influencers. In this episode, but not necessarily in this order: Georgia football team refuses to visit the White House ESPN: Steven A. Smith JJ Watt’s pub crawl Game of Thrones on pause...

The ol' Paragraph Stacker, Dan who drives a van, connects with his pal, Pal, an account for the King of Rock and Roll. Together the laughs ensue as much as is allowed on the brittle skeletons of two middle-aged white men. Topics include: 1. Toast: Dark or light? Butter or jam? 2. Paul's vacation trip to the library, a Kroger, and a public garden. 3. Cable TV news mopes get fired. 4. Carol...

Topics discussed by two middle-aged men who ought to be doing something more productive: Paul gets a job Job search details Paul goes to the movies: Renfield Springfield, MO man demands meat at gunpoint Elon Musk pays for whiny celebrities' blue checkmarks $100M gold heist at Canada’s largest airport Max Scherzer joke Netflix ends DVD mail service

This week, on the world's longest-running podcast between a journalist turned middle school teacher and a soon-to-be unemployed accountant, Dan and Paul discuss the items of lesser import, including: Paul goes to the movies: "Dungeons & Dragons" Dan stays home and watches the movie"Smokey and the Bandit: "Cocaine Bear" to Peacock Paul's job search Chinese peopl...

This podcast is so packed we didn't have time for the story about a moose that went into a hospital to get lunch. What Dan and Paul did discuss, includes the following: Do rising egg prices lead to people painting potatoes for Easter? Laid-off McDonald’s exec writes a Haiku on LinkedIn. New Steve Jobs book to be free to download. Thieves break through a coffee shop bathroom to steal $500,000 w...

Live look-ins on the women's basketball national championship: Iowa vs. LSU. Movies we like but probably won't go to see: "Asteroid City," "Renfield," and "Dungeons & Dragons." Pepsi's rebrand is a retcon for 1990s nostalgia. Pigeons with backpacks full of crystal meth. Police arrest alligator in Tampa.

Dan and Paul meander their way through topics including the magnificence of Caitlyn Clark, how sandwiches are killing Americans, and the giant seaweed monster headed to Florida (of course).

Paul returns to talk about his future after accounting. Spoiler: Probably more accounting.

Paul is AWOL again. He's had it rough lately. He lost his job, but not for 90 days. That sucks. In his place is Tyler from Ames. He's mild. I've only seem he get really angry once or twice in 33 years of friendship. Anyway, we talk about stuff, too. Enjoy. Or don't. You get what you pay for and I don't see hear the bullet 

Paul lives! After a three-episode absence in which the podcast nearly folded without his genteel Southern charm and wry wit, Paul returns to Talking Paragraphs with his emotional, raw, and wrenching tale of Tetris addiction and the bitter toll it took him. "Things got so bad I flunked one linear algebra exam freshman year in college nearly 30 years ago," Paul says through tears. Stay tuned. The wo...

Paul is off for load management. Tyler is in for Paul despite being terrorized by spiders in his shower. Dan is ready for a fried cauliflower sandwich, but they're only available in hippy-dippy towns. Also: Vintage commercials.

Tyler is in for Paul. Dan is still Dan. They talk about stuff, including: 1. The yacht thief who left a dead fish on the doorstep of 'The Goonies' house. 2. The kid who ran up a $1,000 bill with GrubHub deliveries. 3. The dolphin skull found in the Detroit airport. 4. The human jawbone left at a California police station. 5. The man who stole monkies and nearly got away with it.

Ideas to be discussed by a haggard middle school teacher and a man a reader for the local Gannett Outlet Store once called "the mouthpiece of Big Ag:" 1. The singularity approaches. 2. Jimmy Kimmel is going to ruin my favorite Twitter account  3. Which sucks more: "That 90s Show" or "Velma?" 4. All drive-through fast food 5. Hallmark Valentine's Game

Topics of minor import that may or may not be discussed in this episode of Talking Paragraphs: Lady sent to funeral home still alive Laser-guided lightening New Zealand President quits Paul likes a Fallon joke NFL playoffs Amazon recommends

Topics of minor import addressed by the dynamic duo of a Des Moines middle school teacher and a Memphis accountant: Laundry stolen Work Internet outage Work flood Lisa Marie dead Jeff Beck dead NFL playoffs San Diego meerkats vs. Dallas Clouded Leopard

Topics of minor import discussed by an accountant and a middle school teacher.  1. Damar Hamlin 2. Arsenal 3. "Plane" the movie 4. Listener mail 5. Text-to-speech virtual voice of Alex Trebek 

Items of minor import that may be discussed in this episode of Talking Paragraphs include: You know it's going to be a good year when both Ohio State and Michigan both lose. Pele is dead. Barbara Walters is dead. Gretta Thurnberg ends 2022 “with one of the greatest tweets in history,” per the Guardian. Blockchain smartphone named "the FINNEY." Coal Face The Love Boat

Topics of modest import that may be discussed on this podcast include: Is Disney spinning off ABC/ESPN? RIP Franco Harris. Gambling odds ruin everything. Little House on the Prairie. Weather. The disembodied voice of John Madden.

Items of modest interest that may be discussed in this episode: Cocaine Bear Digital Trump cards sellout Yankees Hot Stove RIP Rockford Files character actor Stuart Margolin (Paul is going to hate that he’s from Davenport, Iowa.) World Cup final Bowl season Shoutouts: Terrence Tobin, contribution to the podcast, G. Willard Finney, died 34 years ago today. I’d love one more game of checkers with yo...

The following topics may or may not be discussed in the episode. Expect many deviations and a lot of nonsense in between. Wild cow in Virginia Kirstie Alley dead Mills Lane Soccer talk Cashman extension Warner Bros. canceling DC Comics movies

The following topics may or may not be covered in this episode: U.S. out of World Cup. College football: USC, TCU shit the bed; Georgia and Michigan don’t. Bot writes obit. Gina Carano in a Hallmark movie, Indiana Jones de-aging, 1 in 8 Brits want to fart in public without being judged, Pepsi wants you to drink pop with milk?! Gannett layoffs. Dutch woman smiled at a gorilla/gorilla got out/ attac...

1. Self-order McDonald’s kiosk/tictok 2. US national team pisses off Taylor Swift fans 3. The mediocre seasons of Iowa and Oklahoma 4. Unreasonable UPS encounter 5. Netflix — CCR documentary and concert, Wednesday Addams show, and the documentary Hey Pepsi Where’s My Jet 6. Watched She-Hulk 7. Astros playoff shares 8. German win beer joke? 9. US vs England and James qCorridon 10. SPAM figgy puddin...

Sunday, Nov. 20, 2022 1. New vehicle 2. Qatar vs. Budweiser 3. Man U. vs. Renaldo 4. Browns vs Bills game in Detroit 5. Bedlam 6. NIL rights for LSU gymnast 7. Michael Jordan is dead? 8. Taylor Swift Shakespeare class 9. Fox News and Taylor Swift 10. “Festive” season 11. Reddit on Sacramento Kings 12. 8 billionth person in born in Philippines. 13. “Observably stupid.” Kanye 14. Showboats return to...