Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

Couples Therapy is BACK!!! And I am so excited about the couples we have joining us for the month of February for the Couples Therapy Series.  So what's the newlywed stage really like for Instagram Relationship influencers Kait and JJ Tomlin? Today in this on-air session, I dig deep with Kait and JJ and talk through some of the newlywed struggles and hardships that have come in these early years o...

Today we talk to Susie who has struggled with body shame for many years, and is trying to break free. Body shame can impact people of all ages and stages of life, and for Susie, it's been holding her back in many areas. She's looking for a RESET in how she views herself and freedom from self-critique and self-hatred. I help her unpack where her body shame began, and give her steps to take in order...

Today on Talk to Me I am joined by Kelsey who is struggling with scrolling. She doesn't know why she defaults to scrolling on her phone when she wants to, and often needs to, do something different. We go deeper and unpack the WHY underneath her behaviors, and find that her screen time is actually a signal of something else going on underneath the surface. If you've ever struggled with too much sc...

Is there something in your life you want to change? I sure hope so, because healthy people are always on the trajectory of learning, and growing, and healing.  Maybe it's your negative thinking that's keeping you stuck.  Maybe you find your emotions are overwhelming you with fear, hopelessness, shame, anxiety, or depression.  Maybe you're struggling in your relationship with God.  Maybe you're stu...

Is there something in your life you want to change? I sure hope so, because healthy people are always on the trajectory of learning, and growing, and healing.  Maybe it's your negative thinking that's keeping you stuck.  Maybe you find your emotions are overwhelming you with fear, hopelessness, shame, anxiety, or depression.  Maybe you're struggling in your relationship with God.  Maybe it's your...

Today on the podcast, I have a couples counseling session with two of my favorite people... Dave and Ann Wilson! I met them when I was invited to be on their program, family life today, and I immediately fell in love with their authenticity. I knew they would be a perfect fit for couples counseling session to dig into some of the hard things from their past and how their past has impacted their ma...

Are you good at sharing your needs with others? Most people aren't. Today on the podcast, Erin from Texas called in to talk to me about the fact that she has a really hard time opening up with others and being vulnerable about what she really needs and how she feels. She's seen patterns in her life of putting others first and staying silent about her own needs...until it's become problematic. We u...

Today on the podcast, I have a favorite friend back on for a SECOND on-air session, JP Pokluda!! In our initial conversation, JP and I talk through some of his challenges with having too much on his plate and moving into a season of burnout (listen to the conversation here). In that conversation, I asked if he had ever dug into his past history- and how it might be impacting what he does in the pr...

Today on Talk To Me hotline, I talk to Andrew from Texas! His question is, "How do you know you are healed after a past relationship?" After a 16 year marriage ended in divorce, he's wondering how to know when he has healed... And even more specifically, when is it time to consider dating again after divorce? I answer him by explaining that it's a complicated question, because everyone's situation...

How do you handle rejection? Worse yet, how do you handle rejection from people you hoped to be able to trust? How do you recover from feeling unwanted or unneeded? How do you keep it from becoming part of your beliefs and identity? This week on the podcast I have a powerful on-air session with Alexandra Hoover, and we start putting together the pieces of the puzzle of what caused her to have a vu...

Today on the podcast, I talk with Faith from Georgia! She's 37 and single so she really wants to know how to know when you are trusting God with your dating life - versus when you are taking control of the situation yourself. Do you have to sit back and wait for things to happen, or can you take initiative? And what if you are a woman, where does that leave you in the equation of making a dating r...

Is it possible to serve God and stay filled all at the same time? We know for a fact Jesus did it. But why is it that so many struggle to keep the "balance?" What does avoiding burnout look like for everyday pastors and leaders who are juggling family and ministry and life obligations? How do you even make time to fill up? Today I have a conversation with Pastor Tim Timberlake, who so graciously w...

Rest isn't a luxury, it's a necessity. Even Jesus, who was by nature God, yet also fully man -- took the time to REST. But so many Christians struggle to believe that it's okay to slow down, pace yourself, and rest - in a culture that encourages and affirms hustle, grind, and a fast-pace. In this on-air session, I talk to Kayla about the importance of rest and we unpack her struggle to live it out...

Today I am joined by Lindsi who called in to discuss her tendency to ignore or repress her emotions - until they suddenly and forcefully come up to the surface of her life. She feels like her emotions take over at that point, and she doesn't know how to control them. She gets set off by the smallest things, ends up engaging in conflict - and she is desperately trying to figure out how to navigate...

So much of how we feel and what we do, is influenced by what's going on underneath the surface of our lives. This is why we have to take the time to "tune in". We're tackling the rhythm of TUNE IN and today I am joined by Candace Cameron Bure for an on-air counseling session where we process her people-pleasing tendencies, where they come from, the work she has to do in order to fight off her peop...

Do you find that it's hard to be present? Why do so many of us get stuck on the fears of the future, discontent in the here and now, or regrets from the past? Or what about the devices that we have living in our pockets, tempting us to scroll, and click, and watch - wasting our everyday moments? Today, I have an on-air session with Chris where we talk about his personal struggle to stay present, b...

Today on talk to me, I have an on-air counseling session with the one and only Ann Voskamp. We talk about the importance of savoring life through the gift of gratitude. And then we talk about how to actually go about savoring life when you are a season of suffering and it feels really hard to savor. If you are struggling with gratitude, being present, and wanting to do a better job savoring life.....

Is self-care biblical? So many Christians are held back from the message of practicing SOUL CARE because of misbeliefs about the theology of self-care and soul-care. They have been taught that the Christian way is "self neglect". In this special episode, I am joined by my new friend, theologian Joel Mudamalle, as we differentiate between soul care and self-care, as well as unpack some verses that...

What happens when you are on the line of burnout on a regular basis? Today's caller, Liz from California, feels like she's constantly straddling the line of burnout. She has a really hard time with boundaries, especially with ministry. She feels like she's taught to "trust the Lord" and push through, but not actually replenish herself. She's watching people in ministry burn out left and right, and...

Why do so many Christians struggle with boundaries? We are taught that boundaries are wrong, sinful, or selfish - and that we should always say YES and be ready to sacrifice and serve at a moment's notice. But is this really the way of Jesus? Or could this lead us down a path of emotional burnout, codependency, and unhealthy relationships? Today, we continue this Soul Care series with an on-air co...

How many friends do we actually need? And does the desire to connect change through different seasons of life, or is it a sign that something is wrong? Today as we continue the Soul Care series, I have Cindy from South Africa joining me on the hotline to talk about her recent journey with friendships, and her decreasing desire to connect with people. We process whether or not this is healthy, wher...

Isn't it amazing how we can feel so disconnected, when our culture is more "connected" than ever before through social media? Today as we continue the Soul Care series, I have an on-air counseling session with Carlos Whitaker, and we dive into his feelings of disconnect from his friends and family, ironically, during the rise of his online connections on social media. He had a lot of "followers" o...

It's book launch day for my new book Soul Care!! And I couldn't be more excited to share this message with you. It's a message about avoiding burnout, and staying filled. It looks at the 6 essential rhythms that Jesus practiced to care for his soul, and how we can do the same. I have no doubt it's a message that will change your life like it changed mine. I have been anticipating this day for so l...

Is there such a thing as going TOO FAR with caring for our body? Though the church culture can be silent about caring for our body, the world seems to make too much of it. How do you know when you've taken it too far and then what do you do about it? Today on the podcast I have an on-air session with Emily who feels like she tends to go TOO FAR when it comes to fitness and exercise, and wants to k...

We continue our Soul Care Series today starting with the rhythm of NOURISH. The functioning of our bodies impacts every other part of who we are, but it's one of the most neglected messages in the church. Today I have an on-air counseling session with fitness influencer Jasmine Mays, as we dig into her own story of learning to nourish her body after growing up in a world where she actually abused...