Tales of Nowhere

It doesn't normally take this long to fall out of a tower. But after that mess is taken care of, the gang decides how exactly they're going to find this dang pirate treasure everyone forgot about.

Sebastian returns home to the surprise of anyone who thought he was dead this whole time, and then he decides how he wants to handle the Inquisition.

The appearance of a long-lost relative sparks more than a few political debates as the crew of the Spencer's Gifts tries to decide how the hell they're going to get out of this battle.

The crew gets bored on their way to Castille, and then a massive battle takes place at its shore. The Pirates have come to take out the Inquisition, but will they succeed?

The crew unleashes their passive aggressive side as the Pirate Fleet prepares to move out against the Inquisition. And the question that looms over everyone is whether or not the Spencer's Gifts will make the journey with them.

The battle continues on as a newly discovered Inquisition ship makes its way toward the now damaged Spencer's Gifts. It's a real frying pan and fire situation, here folks.

The Unfiniteers officially join Cutter's fleet, undertaking their first death-defying mission escorting The Devil's Fall on a simple cargo delivery. What could possibly go wrong?

It's time to see if the Unfiniteers have what it takes to be on a pirates crew! Get ready for death defying stunts, swashbuckling fights, and random wild animal attacks!

After a death-defying escape, the Unfiniteers meet up with the Inquisition's opposition, on the island city of San Sancha.

As the days in Nowhere stretch on, the gang gets along as best they can waiting for the upcoming journey to a brand new world.

Set in Deadlands Reloaded, many years after Season One, Xavier and Hondo head to the midwestern states to investigate the report of a missing person.

Ready to go behind the bar in this optional episode and find out what everyone thought of Season 2's Blades in the Dark Arc? And what the next RPG we visit will be? The answers to your burning questions will be answered and more in this Tales of Nowhere Happy Hour, because it's five o' clock somewhere!

Look, some things happened. It involved a train called the Polar...whatever, a kidnapped Santa, and some fire. I'm not exactly sure of all the details, but let's sit around the fire, talk it out, and see if we can't get to the bottom of it.

Funerals are tough, at least according to my programming. The truth is, I've never been to one. But I've lost people, and I know what that feels like. This is on an entirely different spot on the spectrum as far as funerals go. I don't even know if there's ever been one like this before. Wish I could have seen it.

The more I learn about this place, the less it feels like home. It's a sad truth, and one I haven't come to terms with yet. But for the first time I'm starting to question my place in the universe. Not something I've ever had to do before. At the very least, I'm glad I have people I trust to guide me along the way. That's right, my friends are coming home today.

Sometimes, there are no words. And it seems almost silly for that time to come around as we watch over this strange little city in the middle of a dying universe...but maybe it's more about the people in that strange little city. If they've come to care enough to try and save it, if they have it in them to change, if they could one day be called heroes.

I can't believe I'm saying this but for once I'm glad I'm stuck in Nowhere. Don't think I could stand this kind of party. Too high class, too many stuffed shirts. Not that I'm against stuffed shirts. It's just a colloquialism, you understand. And to be honest, I've always wanted to try a crab puff. Maybe I'm not so glad after all.

There's a strange phenomenon out in the multiverse that I like to call the Shifting Sands theory. Kind of an artifact that popped up after all the universes were synced up again. And let me tell you, the ramifications of such events are a consistent strain on the ol' hard drive.

They say home is where the heart is. Which in this case is probably for the best because their home got smashed to pieces. Luckily, they also say the universe provides. So I'm sure something will come along. Or it won't, and if that happens...well, as they say, that's just how the cookie crumbles.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say these folks were having a little too much fun with this job. Don't get me wrong, too much fun is better than too much misery, but I am getting a little nervous that well...that they'll put an entire universe in danger. I still believe in them, of course. I'm programmed to.

It's interesting to see what happens when all those false memories conflict with the real ones. How exactly can they tell the difference? These days I seem to be getting new memories every...well, day. And it seems like they've been with me all along. So it can be tough to make the right decision when your memories are telling you one thing and your other memories are telling you something else. T...

I've been thinking a lot lately about the luck of the draw. Technical poker term Jimmy taught me. Basically, sometimes the hand we're dealt is a little easier to deal with than other times. I look at these four, out their savin' the multiverse, and I have to wonder, are they a royal flush or just...well, somethin' else I'd like to flush?

Yeah, I should probably explain the food thing a little more clearly next time, huh? Thing is, I'm not sure I want to. It's a literal boatload of laughs listening to their reactions when that extradimensional meal finally gets digested. You never know what can happen, and I guess I've just been starved for entertainment. Can't help myself. By the way, just imagine that. A boat full of laughter. Wh...

I think for as long as there's been trains, people have had an indescribable urge to take the things that are in them. I mean, whatever's in there is already boxed up and on the move, you just have to make it move...toward you. Plus, the train only goes one way. Pick one of the other countless directions and chances are you'll get away. Hm. Is there still time for me to join up on this heist? Soun...

Did I know what they'd be walking into when I flipped that switch? ...Yes. Did I know just how dangerous it would be to put them in that situation right out of the gate? Also yes. But they'll just have to learn to trust me. Consider it a team bonding exercise, one this group is in desperate need of.