Sure Thing

This episode artwork is a photo I took at my psychiatrist's office, right outside the ECT room for the truly mentally-based who are looking to ascend, which tickled me to no end that maybe the answer to crippling depression and anxiety disorders could lay within a coffee table book about cruising. I also sent Wolfey a picture of my psych's waiting room to get him off my back about editing the late...

It's like we were never gone.   http://surething.money

Piss on a school boy and watch your social credit soar. It's a new year and time to celebrate everything you've achieved in 2021. This episode is coming to you LIVE from May. We do a big bit on Luxury ATMs which I believe did again in another episode months later without either of us realising that we had already done it before, some of the riffs are different I think. Released early on our Patreo...

New, improved, regular servings of Sure Thing. This is Part 4 of a 2:40 pod. It might have come in short as I had to remove a very offensive impersonation from somewhere in there.   Congratulations to Alister Ryan for listening to 130 hours 51 minutes of the 74 hours 40 minutes of Sure Thing available over the past year.   Now this is the last part of Episode 37, but if my planning is correct we s...

New, improved, regular servings of Sure Thing. This is Part 3 of a 2:40 pod.   Congratulations to Alister Ryan for listening to 130 hours 51 minutes of the 74 hours 40 minutes of Sure Thing available over the past year.   You can listen to Part 4 early at patreon.com/surething.   http://surething.money

New, improved, regular servings of Sure Thing. This is Part 2 of a 2:40 pod.   Congratulations to Alister Ryan for listening to 130 hours 51 minutes of the 74 hours 40 minutes of Sure Thing available over the past year.   You can listen to Part 3 early at patreon.com/surething.   http://surething.money

New, improved, regular servings of Sure Thing. This is Part 1 of a 2:40 pod.   Congratulations to Alister Ryan for listening to 130 hours 51 minutes of the 74 hours 40 minutes of Sure Thing available over the past year.   You can listen to Part 2 early at patreon.com/surething.   http://surething.money

A man goes into a Doctor, he says "Doc, I'm depressed, I don't think I can take it anymore, I've been thinking about killing myself". The Doctor says "Pierrot the Clown is performing tonight, that should cheer you up." The show is sold out, the man instead spends his money on the surething.money Patreon. He necks himself, but his credit card doesn't expire until 2025 so it works out pretty good fo...

Taking over Brigadoon one propaganda poster at a time. T-shirts now available. Listen early at our Patreon patreon.com/surething. http://surething.money

Debates become heated, dick-taties examined, judgement is passed. We're purging ourselves of our evils through bile and hate, spinning up the cult of personality and joining everybody down in the countryside to FASEA the music. http://surething.money 

Do you really identify with your gender? Give it some thought. The Plague Doctors are doing a robbery, scouring the shelves for the Guinness World Records book and booking a ticket to join the Taliban on a team building exercise that will last the rest of their lives. There are Chinese gulags where as many as 3 million Uyghur and other Muslim peoples have been detained.   Early access on Patreon....

Self sucking through the glory hole in your face mask. Ouroblowus.   Released early on Patreon.   http://surething.money .

We've spent the last day digging a grave for ourselves and for you. This episode is a true car crash - curly dick and his robotic friend are finally in together in person. The thin veil of sobriety burns away around 1:20. Play quickdraw with a murderer, make no noise during sex and remember, it's not phobic because you aren't afraid of anything.   http://surething.money

Get your real estate license through repetitive concussion and CTE. Nobody is impressed by your expensive curtains when you made all your money importing and exporting brake discs for farming equipment. Council pick up is a permanent fixture are your neighbour's front lawn - raise your fists and get in their face in an attempt to win your life back.   surething.money

Recorded in January.   Stop eating and watch the fat that comprises the majority of your personality disappear. It's a post-apocalyptic wasteland and we're the only podcast with the solution. Start a war, suck the tailpipe of a Ford Bronco and join the Patreon to get episodes early. Shot in the back of the head, left for dead, cheeseburger in one hand, fat fake milkers pushing up the dirt as you'r...

Silviu loves us, Bernie is RIPping it up in heaven and even the audience plants are experiencing a sad quagmire of self-pity. Very wearisome with few redeeming qualities.   Are you in Perth? Andrew is performing at the Perth Comedy Festival. Shockingly he has not been featured on the front page of the website, but despite the best efforts of festivals around Australia to silence him, he has almost...

Smashing through the trampoline that was supposed to save us from the depths of despair, the bounce has become a climb with nary an "R U Okay?". Ripped of karate kids and questionable wording from a couple of smug fucks. Green belts are now $35 and if you don't pay up we're gonna nick your coats.   See Wolfey live at MICF: comedyfestival.com.au/2021/shows/andrew-wolfe surething.money

Short-squeeze yourself into a pair of dancing shoes and join us on the fire truck to get yourself a haircut. $800 tuck-ins for bedtime - we revolutionise public services to generate extra profit and commercialise what remains of society's heroes. Wait until your final moments before attempting a last-minute grab at the life you should've had. Quit your job, eat your family, surething.money.

Is there a Doctor onboard? Paying for sad dates with a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles credit card and screaming as we leave the runway. Alan Watts said it couldn't be done, but if you throw your parents under the bus you might just be able to get away with insider trading. Expressing the breast milk for your new ice cream business - leave one in the bowl while you listen to this episode for good for...

You're the bull in the ornamentals shop, the relationship is breaking down and everybody has taken a bet with low odds that you're not getting the kids. Delivering CBT right into your ears this episode to the background of the fattest bass drop of everything embarrassing thing you've ever accidentally said out loud. Hold your kids under water until their hands become so prune-y that no psychic cou...

We've only just gotten patched in and we're already having microsleeps on our big boy bikes. Set off the fireworks cos it's the first episode of a New Year featuring fresh opportunities to invest in a babychino direct from the almond's Double Fucken' Ds, a couple sniffs of the worst Darren Sadblokes your X-Defacto's ever heard and one of us works really hard to prove that a separation isn't always...

Contrary to popular belief, depression, anxiety and suicide rates don't increase during this holiday season, they are just high all year round. Can't wait till my balls drop tonight!   www.surething.money   Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

Sharpened teeth and anal fishhooks on a trampoline of dreams. Wolfey gets off the phone at 1:03:42. www.surething.money   Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

It's a Great Leap Forward, hacking up our culture and questioning a few others. Never looking back, always looking forwards to a simulated future where all outcomes are miserable. Neck a Fruity Lexia and deepfake a smile through all the weddings, market shifts and dig deep down inside yourself until you hit that hot, black yolk. If you were truly related to Napolean you wouldn't be such a coward....

Knock-knock, I'm with Australian Solar Implants - can you spare a minute to jam this in your head? Christmas is around the corner, you asked for Cape Town and you're getting the Cape Town Flats. Try escape without getting your hand bitten off, or stand your ground, take off your shoes and fling an egg into the face of every alternative medicine practitioner.   It's not SUPERannuation unless it's i...