Sure Thing

Back in the old days you had children doing important jobs, now a lot of them aren't even allowed on a job site.   Full episode at https://www.patreon.com/surething . http://surething.money/

Ozempic faced cotton picking wrinkly regressive therapy sandwich. Go Go Gadget Jelqing.   More episodes at https://www.patreon.com/surething .   http://surething.money.

A short bridging episode while Andrew fixes insidious technical issues.   More episodes at https://www.patreon.com/surething.

Get your own MSB-branded child coffin from Armstrong & Wolfe Oil.   Patreon exclusive episode. Hear the rest at http://patreon.com/surething .

Yes hello, I am Gus.

Some guy massaging your wife's breast at the public access infinity pool to calm himself down.   Patreon exclusive episode. Hear the rest at http://patreon.com/surething .    

Mining your dying brain, getting the main vein drained.

You're a permanent observer at the United Nations General Ass-embly.   More stuff, fuller episodes, extra trauma at the Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/surething http://surething.money

Derivative banana tricks for monkeys.

Derivative banana tricks for monkeys.   Patreon exclusive episode. Hear the rest at http://patreon.com/surething .

All aboard, the Mate Ship is boarding and our final destination is Traumatic Bonding Experience. Bottoms up, dicks out, your legacy is weakness and your future is a medal for excellence in lawncare.   Full episodes on the Patreon feed at https://www.patreon.com/surething. http://surething.money.

A Big Pussy Monster novel. Patreon exclusive episode. Hear the rest at http://patreon.com/surething .   ***   To achieve consistency in the Sure Thing schedule, we will be releasing 1x Sure Thing and 1x Patreon exclusive Sure Thing weekly. You'll see 30~ minute teaser cuts of the exclusive releases here. If you want more, Patrons get a feed with both full episodes.   Breaking the fourth wall for a...

A Big Pussy Monster novel.

Sniff a lemon, drink the wasp water and and lift yourself up, to tower eternal above your kids from way down in the ground. It's 3 demerits for evasion but a never ending joy to hook up to the car battery before the tube ends your sub-par alchemy altogether. I jerked off 4 guys on my way here tonight, and boy are my arms tired.   http://surething.money.

Narrowly escape a deluge of child abuse, change your name and head to the airport as we ask "Where in the World is Roman Polanski?". Your buddy's out of prison selling hot pies.   Please DM us your IQ on Instagram.   http://surething.money http://patreon.com/surething

We are lifting you out of your ketamine haze for a girl's weekend to space. Hurry up and get your thongs on, we've only got 45 minutes before we need to be back at your mother's.   Video on the Patreon http://patreon.com/surething http://surething.money

lol u up? rents rnt hme. u wna drnk drve 2 myn n freek owt n bolt b4 u cn nock on my door? wldnt it be so randm if u gt in our van n cam wit us 2 da farm? we hav drugs i promis itl be siii1ck!1  no? lol k ttyl   Video eps on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/surething http://surething.money

The Moon God is angry. Somebody screwed up their audio, so Somebody Else had to spend 20 hours fixing it in the edit. Thank you for your patience. Jeffrey Dahmer & Greg has finally come to life. See the trailer: https://youtu.be/a87iquHJpo8.   Watch Sure Thing with your eyes at our Patreon. http://surething.money

Win a ticket to the Balinese mod shop, fire up the PS1 and stuff a baggie up your bum. Don't be a bad mule, we've racked up the fun and left you some.   http://surething.money

From hostile womb to chlorinated tomb, there has never been a better time to invest in foreign children. For just $1 per day or a couple of cigarettes, you could play parent to a future patent-making world leader, or mitigate your losses with some basic geo-location sleuthing. Your very own village to brothel is just bed, bath and beyond the horizon. Tested positive for COVID an hour after recordi...

Fly in the face of height restrictions aboard a Bluetooth rocket ship heading to Mars. Anger is the fuel, a motivation, a tool. Train your camera in a last ditch attempt to capture a ghostly shadow - the shadow of your past towering enormous over an uncertain future. The pain of forgiveness and regret turn swiftly into love.   Full video is Patreon only. http://surething.money

The thin veneer of inclusivity invites the exploitation of the most marginalised. Commodify the vulnerable for the battlefield and sexualise the disenfranchised. Synergise a progressive marketing strategy with some deep fake nudes to leverage your signal of virtue and increase profits this quarter. TikTok, time's running out and the grain is too.  We would like to state that Tate is a cuck and Wol...

Become the star attraction in the human zoo, Bane mask and all. If you look menacing enough, your soulmate might be just around the corner. No dogs in heaven, just dog meat in the fridge straight from the rainbow bridge - we're only falling deeper into an 18 month recession. http://surething.money

Chew half a pack of cigarettes, your wife is going off the balcony at this corporate retreat. When AI takes all the good podcasting jobs, you'll be dreaming of $5 worth of fruit.   http://surething.money