Sure Thing

Sentencing is being handed down and we're hoping for at least 8 years. New business ideas and conspiracy theories resonate with a very impressionable man living in a state of mental flux. Kill your neighbour and assume their identity for the ultimate rent reduction. Illuminati explored and Glitterati is ignored, the Chinese death camps await. A surprise milestone at the $10k Patreon mark is announ...

Your cubicle is a coffin, you live in a postbox and 10% of your life is being stolen by Kogan. International sex crimes and dirty penis cleaning time - retirement's a lie and you might as well just jump into the hole with the rest of the drill.   http://surething.money   Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

A golden tooth for a gilded man. It's Nesquik titties and abused, limp kiddies, flinging sand into the eyes of the Royals and a sharp turn left as we decide it's time to start redistributing the wealth now that we don't have any. We've waived the height restriction, so hurry up and hook yourself up to the giant ventilator with all your fishing village girlfriends. Die Piscasso or live retardo? Fli...

All profits from Sure Thing Podcast Pty Ltd will be used for chaos. It's a $1000 a day bender propped up by a pyramid scheme and enforced by gang of losers in cool jackets - we're hooked up to an MDMA drip to avoid a comedown. Inadvertent skull crushing as the 3 step program takes 12 steps back. Grab a vibrating stick and help us bash every ounce of what will hopefully be recognised as irony from...

This is Episode 14. Andrew has lost his family, his position and now he has managed to lose Episode 13 of this horrible little podcast as well. Claiming to be Icarus but more akin to Danny DeVito as the goat man in Hercules, there is no reception among the clouds which means nobody can call to warn you that you're actually hurtling back towards the ground. A schooner is thrown, a whale is poked, t...

Birth. Sorrow. Separation. Wanting. Clinging. These are the sutras of duhkha and, according to the charts, we are 40% of the way to ridding ourselves of any remaining shred of ego. Rip the ventilator out or live long enough to realise you died in your cubicle. This is the MSB episode. www.surething.money   Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

Evicted from the house and eliminated from the island, Wolfey talks about not getting let on this season of Big Brother. The producers say the psych evaluation is bad and we've tested positive for rheumatoid arthritis after years of being being punched in the face. You are the secondary character, smashing your kids' piggy bank for more IKEA hotdogs. Fold out the cot, we're sleeping in the office...

A piercing ring echoes out through the night, a howling rhythmic scream that serves as backdrop to the visage of the boys danger dancing with ASIC. Your DNA is on file and the dogs can smell your hereditary predisposition for failure. Doomed to repeat the mistakes of your ancestors, you must trash your loved ones to beat the HFT shorts. The treasure hunt is set to become real as we incorporate the...

Watt's happening, Folks? It's that time of the night - put your hands together and welcome Chicken Liver to the stage for the last time, closing out by leveraging Jesus for a final performance before returning to the void on the way home. This week's corporate retreat is a delight for the senses sure to create a few exes. Leave your wife at home, she's taking it in the divorce anyway, spike a pint...

Spit into the mirror but never reflect long enough to remember that you're the root of all your problems. Reach nirvana with the power of shadenfreudening your own position, even a giant sweater can come apart by tugging on a single thread for long enough. Deputy Wolfey finally diversifies, Josh liquidates his feelings. Identifying the scams running rampant in small towns all over the world culmin...

Robot Boy goes in for faulty dump pipe, teeth are being ground into dust faster than margin future positions are being liquidated and we're wide-eyed all night with the halogens piercing into the deep recesses of our brains. Mainly a discussion on chemicals with a brief interlude on chomos.  www.surething.money   Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

Cast your net from bridge of opportunity into the nighttime of an endlessly ignorant future. If you listen through you'll get to hear a man nearly cry. Class warfare starts tonight.   www.surething.money   Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

Clean all the sand you dirty little snail, the locusts are here - it's not a beautiful mind and you're not John Forbes Nash, it's a disgusting nightmare, you're John Forbes' Gash and you're forever trapped behind the glass, staring out at a room full of people you respect laughing directly into your stupid snail face. We are screaming downwards today as the margin closes in, and the only possible...

Returns are diminishing but aggression is at an all-time high. You can't burn bridges if you don't have enough gasoline - siphon the fuel from Nigel's Camry and slash his tyres to make it look like somebody broke into the underground car park during lunch.   www.surething.money   Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

Get out of stem cells, and shoot off some sperm cells - invest a Honda Civic into a lamp post and take the eternal drive.

It's all upside, Baby. From 250 to 320k in one week. Andrew Wolfe cannot lose. Mesoblast FOREVER.   www.surething.money   Intro music created by H-Pizzle.

Candlesticks go "wee".   www.surething.money   Intro music created by H-Pizzle.