Stupid People Podcast

Funny riffs on car warning and hostess fun! Then: Chris relates his foundational incidents that laid the foundation for his stupidity: Stealing candy from a store and, much later, money from a mall fountain. Learning how to drive (Dad vs. Mom). Scalping David Bowie tickets. Hearing Dad’s F-bomb for the first time. Getting totally smashed with my best friend at 18 – and having to deal with the cons...

Gary’s childhood injury. Sears Automotive. Car seats that don’t work. Garage door mishap. Sliding door handle. Car hatchback door. Pink tile grout. “Teaching” his daughter to curse. Wal-Mart encounter. Shoe issues. Clothing issues. Bonus: a short riff on condensed soup. If you have a patent or trademark question, call Gary at 877-5-PATENT. Get ALL the food out™ of those cat food cans with Crazy Da...

The “On Death and Dying of Laughter” episode clearly was not enough for Chris and Gary, the show’s co-hosts. Funny and stupid headstones. Proposed names of Jeffrey Dahmer dishes. Gary seems to get confused between dying and diarrhea. What Chris wants to do if he’s given a week to live – or an entire year for that matter.  If you have a patent or trademark question, call Gary at 877-5-PATENT.&...

Chris almost goes postal on Gary when the Stupid People Party doesn’t even get a single vote at the Iowa Caucus. Chris becomes an election denier and concocts a conspiracy theory. The episode devolves into an explanation of Iowa Caucus food, and we end up suspending our campaign, but not the way one would think! Chris also reveals the sole funding source for our campaign. If you have a patent...

A funny fake ad on Chris gives Gary a little extra leash, and he does not disappoint! Nostradamus. Dentist who goes ape on a patient. Tommy Smothers, who died recently. Willie Colon, who is still alive. Sexual jeopardy. Phone calls on detective shows. Shingrix. Doing nothing (jobs, Tovala oven). Stupid lawsuits (Reese’s, Burger King, Red Bull, McDonald’s). Warning labels on condoms. Car washes. Fo...

Gary nearly dies of laughter just a few minutes into this episode. (It may help with the listening audience that “scrapers” = “skid marks,” at least where Gary grew up.) Benjamin Franklin wrote, “…in this world, nothing is certain except death and taxes.” Well, we’re not talking about taxes (yet), but we will be talking caskets, dead people being castrated for in a way that would make Julia C...

Chris attempts to speak in British and ends up in Irish – in what is definitely our most stupid introduction ever. But wait! There’s more. We follow that up with probably our most stupid and unintelligible ad ever. Gary makes some introductory swipes at advertisements, and then Chris does a deep-dive into one of the Otezla commercials (the one starring Ned, who has plaque psoriasis). Then hear abo...

Your two stupid cohosts Chris and Gary never officially wanted a “stupider” podcast in 2024 than in 2023, but that’s the way it’s turning out. Chris’s New Year’s Eve turns into a New Year’s Heave – and he finally understands what an “end-to-end” solution means. Then he teaches his first (and probably last!) Bible lesson on Sodom, Lot, and Lot’s wife. (Yeah, being Lot’s wife was her lot in life.) W...

This episode is a follow-up to Episode 21, where we explore the world of commercials like a plumber’s snake takes to a wasteline. How many of these brands, jingles, and taglines do YOU remember? If you have a patent or trademark question, call Gary at 877-5-PATENT. Get ALL the food out™ of those cat food cans with Crazy Dad’s® Mini-Spatulas:  ⁠ https://www.crazydadstore.com⁠ Leave us a note a...

After hearing this episode, you’ll probably be wishing Santa had slay bells instead of sleigh bells. Stupid Chris and Stupid Gary dredge up wonderful, odd, and old Christmas memories about trees, lights, good and bad presents, pets, trains, and even the new Amazon Christmas commercial. If you have a patent or trademark question, call Gary at 877-5-PATENT. Get ALL the food out™ of those cat food ca...

This is without a doubt our limpest episode ever – because we discuss saltpeter and what it’s reported to do to the male body. We cover the gamut from gunpowder to gnome-sized appendages. Plus a free bonus: Gary cracks himself up. Chris maintains he was pretty cracked to begin with. Yes, folks, stupidity can come in small packages. If you have a patent or trademark question, call Gary at 877-5-PAT...

This episode’s fake commercial deals with problem constipation, and Gary gets ahead of himself. Mashers and roués. This is the first episode out of several that will deal with iconic 70s and 80s commercials. They aren’t all stupid, but our takes on them are! Challenge your memory. Think of it as TV trivia – sort of. More fun than the Doublemint twins! If you have a patent or trademark questio...

(Apologies to Randy Newman.) Wienermobile update! Plus, various news items featuring stupid people and stupid journalism: Dead airline flight attendant who died with a sock in her mouth. Stupid “dry scooping” TikTok challenge victim. And a crazy Danish artist makes off with money he thinks is his for a piece of artwork that seems to us to be even stupider than standard contemporary art. If you hav...

Burmese pythons, stink bugs, spotted lantern flies … oh my! This episode is educational and does a deep-dive into all those STUPID plants and animals that don’t belong in our neighborhoods – but end up there anyway. (What we forgot to talk about is our belief that stupid people should have their own species – Homo stupidus, perhaps?) If you have a patent or trademark question, call Gary at 877-5-P...

We bust the myth that running is exercise that doesn’t cost much – and we learn of Stupid Chris’s latest running accident – 5 days before a 10K. Also, we talk about a few horrible incidents of runners whose colons have exploded during their races. If you have a patent or trademark question, call Gary at 877-5-PATENT. Get ALL the food out™ of those cat food cans with Crazy Dad’s® Mini-Spatulas...

If you hate the sound (or even the sight) of people eating – the horrific slurping, gulping, crunching, and chomping – and the people who make those noises drive you into a state of utter disgust – then you probably have the stupid human condition called misophonia (translated literally, “hatred of sound”). Stupid Chris is a victim, so we thought we’d bring the condition to light by exploring how...

Ketchup for the mobility-impaired. All things stupid about gas, gas stations, and gas brands, including, yes, Sinclair green dinosaur soap. And Stupid Chris talks about long trips with the “Tinkle Jar.” Then, because we can’t focus: Ayds, gelatin, nail polish, aluminum ice cube trays, Ex-Lax, and cap guns, old TV signoffs, and Trekkie stuff. Chris reveals his stupidity about car fluids. Cigarette...

We propose a new sexy car model, then we follow that with our plan to eliminate car crash headlines that don’t tell the truth. Then, we go off on novelty license plates. Find out how Chris embarrassed himself by making a stupid joke about Gary’s novelty plate. And, finally, why are car manufacturers bringing back model names that were so horrible in the past? Then, as if this weren’t enough, we br...

Our send-off about the Bud Light disaster — followed by a much-needed alcohol-inspired law which we’ll enact if elected Co-President in 2024. After this much-too-long introduction, Stupid Gary and Stupid Chris trade stupid bar jokes. Surely a few will make you smile. If not, then you need to have a few! If you have a patent or trademark question, call Gary at 877-5-PATENT. Get ALL the food out™ of...

Marilyn Monroe was way before our time, but Stupid Chris relates his 5-year-old memories of the JFK assassination — and it’s not at all what you might expect. Plus, Gary joins in as we discuss further planks in our 2024 Co-Presidential platform. We guarantee that you’ll be on board with most of these. Now if we can just find those mega-donors! If you have a patent or trademark question, call Gary...

Stupid stuff from high school (including sex education). How Gary hid writing instruments. Chris’s English teacher reads from Playboy magazine and spanks students with “Tickler.”If you have a patent or trademark question, call Gary at 877-5-PATENT.Get ALL the food out™ of those cat food cans with Crazy Dad’s® Mini-Spatulas: https://www.crazydadstore.com Stupid Music ©2023 Timothy Rasmussen: https:...

Stupids Gary and Chris reminisce about some of the formative events of their young lives. We find out why Gary is brain-addled, and what Chris brought into his 6th grade class. If you have a patent or trademark question, call Gary at 877-5-PATENT. Get ALL the food out™ of those cat food cans with Crazy Dad’s® Mini-Spatulas: https://www.crazydadstore.com Stupid Music ©2023 Timothy Rasmussen: https:...

Redd Foxx. Cursing. Teasers for upcoming episodes. Kars4Kids. Big Food. Tony Bennett homage. We Buy Ugly Houses. Weird pet habits. HRC’s plan for reparations. Bad pens. Stupid Gary predicts the end of the world. Attorney jokes. Siblings. Bridge and the “real” LOLs. Angi redux. Tombstones. USPS Postage. If you have a patent or trademark question, call Gary at 877-5-PATENT. Get ALL the food out™ of...

Yes, Stupid Chris and Stupid Gary are officially declaring their co-candidacy for U.S. President, Constitution be damned! Our first platform involves legal retaliation against stupid drivers. But first: Gibberish about the mountain formerly known as Mt. McKinley. If you have a patent or trademark question, call Gary at 877-5-PATENT. Get ALL the food out™ of those cat food cans with Crazy Dad’s® Mi...

Cleaning up mistakes we made in previous episodes. French vs. German languages. Plus, an important announcement. And much more. If you have a patent or trademark question, call Gary at 877-5-PATENT.Get ALL the food out™ of those cat food cans with Crazy Dad’s® Mini-Spatulas: https://www.crazydadstore.com Stupid Music ©2023 Timothy Rasmussen: https://www.instagram.com/txmbrr_music/