Straight Wife Trans Life

In this episode, I introduce you to my spouse who came out as transgender a year and a half ago. She discusses how she came to understand that she is transgender, the rollercoaster of emotions leading to that moment, and what it was like to tell me.   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality...

Emotions and questions are aplenty when your spouse or partner comes out as transgender. Sorting through it all is complex and there can be conflicting feelings. You can be happy that the person you love has figured out this piece to themselves while struggling through the loss of what you had together. Compartmentalization could be helpful. Mentioned in this episode: Psychology Today: Compartment...

Our son has asked repeatedly if I could interview him for the podcast and I always turned him down until now; transgender hate and misinformation changed my mind. It could be helpful to hear from a child how insignificant his parent's transition has been for him. A helping factor has been that my spouse and I remain respectful of one another and keep our emotions and the deeper discussions away fr...

Oh, the things we take for granted. Traveling as a family used to be something that was never given a second thought. Now, we travel on high safety alert with careful planning and awareness of our surroundings. This episode touches on a recent flight we took to Chicago, a family event in Indiana, and things to consider when traveling with or as a transgender person.   Mentioned in this Episode: Fi...

Today is Father's Day and this is the first Father's Day our family has replaced with a new day, a new way to celebrate. As my spouse likes to say,  we are in a new situation and the old rules don't apply. This episode offers alternatives to celebrate a transgender parent when Father's Day or Mother's Day no longer apply: you can c reate a date to celebrate, share the traditional date, or consider...

Groups can be disappointing but now isn't the time to go it alone. If your spouse or partner has come out as transgender, it is beneficial to find others in this situation to help you heal, navigate the ups and downs of the transition, and move forward. You'll be surprised, there are many of us out there.  Places to find peer-to-peer support: PFLAG National and International Open Reddit group may...

The anti-trans movement can be overwhelming for those of us with transgender loved ones. This episode touches on the term transmisogyny and how transgender women tend to be the target, plus how we can support the transgender community. Mentioned in or resources related to this episode: ACLU: Mapping Attacks on LGBTQ Rights in U.S. State Legislatures Equality Federation: All Anti-Transgender Legisl...

If you want to clear a room, mention "relationship boundaries" and see what happens. This topic makes everyone cringe but boundaries are there to help your relationship, not hinder it. This episode explores how to set healthy boundaries with your transgender spouse or partner as they transition, you transition, and your relationship transitions. Yes, it's all a transition.   Mentioned in this epis...

This episode offers a glimpse of what it is like to be out at dinner or visiting our child's school as a family with a transgender person. There are a lot of raised eyebrows that range from the curious what-am-I-looking-at stare to the negative look of disgust. My tip: ignore people you don't know and you'll have a great time like everyone else. Kudos to allies who make life feel normal for transg...

My spouse told me that if there was a "reverse pill" to avoid being transgender, she would take it. It is a heartbreaking time in the U.S. to see an increase of anti-transgender laws being introduced while living with a loved one who is trying to navigate their transition and live in peace. This episode explores how our treatment of transgender people can mean life or death. U.S. Suicide and Crisi...

These are the top five questions I'm asked as the straight or cisgender spouse of a transgender person. Questions are great, just be sure to "read the room" and make sure the person you are asking is ready or open to talking about their situation. Thank you to those who check on spouses and partners; we are in a unique situation and appreciate you.   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a...

Telling your family that your spouse or partner is transgender takes a little finesse, planning, and a solid mindset to accept any outcome. You have no control over the reaction of others but you can be content knowing that you gave it your all.   Mentioned in this episode: National Geographic Documentary Gender Revolution: A Journey with Katie Couric   Sam Killermann , author of A Guide to Gender...

Telling friends or acquaintances that your spouse or partner has come out as transgender requires preparation. First, you need to reach a stage where you accept that this transition is reality. This way, you are ready for the relief, acceptance, or rejection that follows. Two things I've learned at this point: 1) people you know may surprise you in the best ways and 2) you can handle any outcome....

Telling your child or children that a parent is coming out as transgender is one of the scariest moments. There is a lot of fear of the unknown; so many questions and sleepless nights leading up to sitting them down to share the news. Two things I've learned: 1) how you and your spouse or partner treat one another will impact your child and 2) kids really are resilient. Mentioned in this episode a...

It is normal to feel grief when a spouse or partner comes out as transgender, this is a big change. Give yourself time to work through the emotions and focus on how you would like your future to look. Take the steps, write down goals, to move toward a new version of happy. Mentioned in this episode: OurVoices podcast, season 4, episode 4 with guest Priscilla Tuft HER podcast with Gabbi and Priscil...

This episode focuses on therapy and support groups after a spouse or partner comes out as transgender. Throw out any stigmas about therapy and keep moving forward.   Mentioned in this episode: PFLAG National and International (great organization, highly recommend) Local example - Pacific Center for Human Growth Local example - Ingersoll Gender Center Psychology Today Please note: the link to one s...

Disclosure: the moment you find out your spouse or partner is transgender. It's like a Hollywood produced explosion minus the special effects. Results are permanent but be patient and give yourself time to grieve, be angry, adjust, and accept. In this episode, six coping methods are mentioned from a graphic in an article online. I was not the target audience for the article itself but the graphic...

Trailer for Straight Wife Trans Life podcast. Follow the journey of a straight wife after her husband comes out as trangender after 13 years of marriage. First episode drops January 1.