Straight Wife Trans Life

Our son just finished his first school year in a new country. This episode is a quick check-in of how it was, if he feels the perception of having a transgender parent is different here, and if he has any advice for other kids with a transitioning parent.   Due to current events in the US: Rainbow Railroad TransLash:  Trans Relocation Guide -- Finding Trans Aslyum and Safe Havens Transgender Law C...

We've all seen it and some of us have done it: the people or companies who show allyship during Pride month and then pack it all up at the end of June and store it away until next year, like it's a holiday. In this episode, let's explore what performative allyship is, why it is harmful, and how to avoid it. Mentioned or related to this episode: Library of Congress: 1969: The Stonewall Uprising Riz...

I call baloney on anyone who suggests that only a man and woman can lay the foundation for a so-called nuclear family. As someone whose marriage began in the heterosexual sense and morphed into a mixed orientation marriage, we remain more traditional than most. In this episode, my spouse and I chat about the term nuclear family and why it is anti-LGBTQ+ at the core. Mentioned or related to this ep...

A brief dive into how anti-transgender hate bills and laws are set in motion. It is a well-coordinated, 50-year-running long con to dismantle democracy.   Mentioned or related to this episode: PBS LearningMedia: How Laws are Made in Congress Rock the Vote:  State Legislatures, An Explainer   American Bar Association: What is an Executive Order? Video: Human Rights Campaign - Who's Behind the Anti-...

New laws are trying to erase transgender people and Law SB 244 that recently passed in the U.S. state of Kansas is a prime example. Transgender people are here to stay and in this episode, I touch on how wasteful and cruel this law is for the transgender community, a sliver of the population who are people like the rest of us.  Mentioned or related to this episode: ACLU: Understanding the SB 244 L...

In this episode, my spouse shares whether she has regrets not coming out sooner and touches on the topic of what might have been missed since she came out as an adult. Due to current events in the US: Rainbow Railroad TransLash: Trans Relocation Guide -- Finding Trans Aslyum and Safe Havens Transgender Law Center Resources Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips...

The new season begins with a reflection on the fourth year post-disclosure and how things looked then versus now.  Mentioned in or related to this episode:  PFLAG and International PFLAG : Support, Education, and Advocacy for LGBTQ+ People and their Loved Ones Due to current events in the US: Rainbow Railroad TransLash: Trans Relocation Guide -- Finding Trans Aslyum and Safe Havens Transgender Law...

The season ends with a message of hope and an encore interview with special guest, Abbe Kruger. Abbe is a life coach who dedicates herself to supporting cisgender and straight spouses or partners, and couples, managing changes in sexuality, gender identity and gender expression. Abbe can help you anywhere in the world, you can contact her here .   The podcast returns in January. Thank you for list...

It is an ongoing calculation to decide when to tell someone new that your spouse is transgender. Everyone in your circle may know, but one still has to decide if it is necessary, if you think your spouse will be okay with it if they're not there, and whether it is even up to your spouse when you feel like it is the right moment to share that piece of information with someone new. In this episode,...

I asked my 12-year-old to share his perspective on moving abroad and squeezed out just enough to create a short episode. It is a reminder that kids are resilient and can handle big things as long as there is a support network to lean on — in this case, he has his parents plus family and friends from afar.  There are lots of books, podcasts, resources and groups online to help you and your kids wit...

In this episode, my spouse shares her feelings about moving abroad. "We are not chess pieces," she says, regarding the current anti-transgender climate in the US. That says it all.   Mentioned or related to this episode: USA Today: Safest States for Gay and Trans People Rainbow Railroad TransLash: Trans Relocation Guide -- Finding Trans Aslyum and Safe Havens Erin in the Morning: Countries Should...

You know how we sometimes dissect our night out on the way home from an event — you think about things you said, what others said, what you would do differently. That's what it feels like I've been doing after living abroad for two months — looking back and wondering if things are as bad as I thought they were, and if we made the right move. This can't be covered in one episode but let's explore h...

In the U.S., the current administration has fueled a hate-filled climate toward transgender people that is false, dangerous, and manipulative. It is a loss for the U.S. when smart, kind, caring people who have the burden of carrying the stigma that the transgender label brings — leave the U.S.   In this episode, I share why our family of three, plus one dog, packed up decades of life into nine sui...

The big news in this episode is that I am taking a little hiatus until mid-September due to a big move with my spouse and our son. I'll miss you until then! I leave you with a few self-care tips that I hope are fresh enough to help carry each of us forward as we wade through these uncertain times.  Chin up and onward we go, together.  Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF)...

It is easy to get distracted and drift off in one direction a little more than anticipated; sometimes we need to pause and hit the reset button when that happens. Recently, I have been laying it on thick as an ally to my spouse while forgetting about my own needs — not too difficult to do in these crazy times. While I reset, I reshare a talk with my son regarding his perspective about when my spou...

A heartfelt thank you to the listeners, even my spouse, who brought it to my attention that the individual I previously interviewed and had in this slot was not presenting themselves in a truthful manner. I consider the podcast a community where resources, ideas, and honest opinions can be shared. This means that I will dig deeper to ensure this doesn't happen again. Accountability matters.   Info...

In this episode, meet Renée Yoxon, a gender-affirming voice teacher who has created a suite of online voice courses to help you or the transgender or nonbinary person in your life to feminize, masculinize, or find something in between to shape that preferred this-is-me sound when speaking. Renée discusses their background, tips for voice health, and not allowing your fears to prevent you from begi...

Two weeks post vocal feminization surgery, we hear what my spouse sounds like as she slowly recovers. She was on vocal rest for the past weeks and we talk about how she communicated, her reasons for opting for vocal surgery, and what she hopes the outcome will be in the months ahead.   My favorite word in this episode: otolaryngology. Say that ten times. Mentioned or related to this episode: Text-...

On the eve of her vocal feminization surgery, I talk to my spouse about surgeries she has had at this stage of her transition, the surgery decision process, and how she is feeling going into this one.  Mentioned or related to this episode: GLAAD: Transgender Day of Visibility , March 31  FOLX : LGBTQ+ health care provider HRC: Get the Facts on Gender Affirming Care Information for allies: PFLAG Gu...

In this episode, I talk to my mom in her eighties about her reaction when I told her that my spouse had come out as transgender. My favorite quote from our talk: "You're not the one who has the right to judge."   Mentioned or related to this episode: American Field Service (AFS) Book my parents read:  She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders , by Jennifer Finney Boylan PFLAG National for friend and...

Telling your parents that your spouse has come out as transgender can be quite stressful; no two family dynamics are the same. In this episode, I talk to my midwestern, cisgender, former United States Navy officer, highly educated dad in his eighties about his reaction when I told him that my spouse had come out as transgender. My favorite quote from our talk: "The only change would be our nasty a...

The news headlines about attempts to erase the transgender community can do a number on us. Partner up, it's going to be an unpredictable, bumpy ride. Rest when you need to, stay hydrated, and keep being you. Allies, time to step up.  Trans Lifeline: Resources for Dealing with Post-Election Grief Mentioned or related to this episode: USA Today: Utah bill would ban Pride flags in public schools but...

Misinformation and fake news are abundant, and knowing what's real and what's not can even take the savviest person by surprise. Transgender people are the current target and as the saying goes, repeat a lie enough times and people start to believe it. Let's change that. In this episode, I share tips and thoughts on how to spot fake news and stop others from spreading it. Mentioned or related to t...

It has been three years since my spouse came out to me as transgender. This episode reflects on how the first two years look from here, plus how things are going and where they are headed.   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look f...

It's a new year and as we wrestle with what the future holds for transgender people in this moment in time, we begin the season with a glimpse of the potential for positive change. My spouse decided to visit her family in   México to celebrate her dad's 80th birthday this past November. It has been a difficult road for their relationship since my spouse came out and only recently have they been co...