Story Time

**NSFW WARNING** The last of the "Lost Episodes" is finally here! David's girlfriend Michelle joins the boys as Santell re-tells (again but for the first time) the final two chapters of everyone's favorite Victorian erotica! This summer is sure to go out with quite a bang, so come play "hide the slipper," take a mystery drug chocolate from India, and learn what to do when there's just not enough d...

The holidays are well and truly upon us, and to...celebrate Michael has brought in another duo of yule-time tales. Listener beware, one of these stories he describes as "the saddest story I've ever brought into the podcast," and he isn't wrong. But also whistles and Santa and barrels of brine! How fun is that?!?

Time for the next installment of a classic switcheroo, and talk about raising the stakes! 16th century political upheaval, angry child-targeting mobs, and the introduction of a charming new stranger! Are they friend or foe? Can they sit down? Find out this week! 

The holidays are upon us, so Michael decided to try and help David boost his Christmas spirit by bringing in a couple of short holiday tales. Learn why the youth are the future and why the answer is literally always for some reason Jesus. 

Boy oh boy, the boys are back with more stories about some boys! Edward and Tom's troubles get bigger, and so do the words! Fancy parties, abusive fathers, and the most intense itch you've ever seen!

Boy oh boy, did Michael dig himself a hole this week! Join us as he struggles through another Japanese tale- of a brave prince, a selfless (to a problematic degree) wife, and maybe some slight magic! BONUS: Optional drinking game rules established!

It's David's turn to bring a story, and for the first time he wasn't sure what story to do! Join us for a fun tale of lofty dreams, mistaken identities, and terrible Gran Dams! Did you know this was a Mark Twain story? We sure didn't!!

The boys are back alone this week as they almost forget to celebrate their 50th episode! Michael brings another fairy tale, complete with talking heads, jewels, and of course, racial insensitivity! Special shout out to Michael's wife for letting us record on their wedding anniversary!

Em Hantke (@Emburger9) returns (with booze!) again for the next vaguely steamy, definitely scandalous, and overly depressed installment of the barely Harry Potter based fan-fic, My Immortal. Get ready for a gazillion bullets, at least 2 satanists, and the fastest rising star in the gothic metal band scene, Bloody Gothic Rose 666.

We finally made it to the end of days! Em Hantke (@EmBurger9) joins us again as we are forced to re-record one of our "lost" episodes - The end of the Bible itself! Join us as we take a trip through the fever dream full of scorpion locusts, apocalyptic horsemen, and even a prostitute! 

We're back after a brief technical interruption! We have a dear friend Em Hantke (@Emburger9) in person to tell us only the best of the best of Harry Potter fan-fiction. Get read for angsty bands and LOTS of outfit descriptions.

This is it, the end of days for Norse myths! Learn everyone's dirty secrets, feel the loss of some of our favorite gods, and as always... F**K LOKI!

If you're thinking this story is going to be centered around a golden bird, boy are YOU wrong (and so is David).  Come learn the benefits of recognizing a pattern and following directions, at least when given to you by a talking fox. And of course: Don't. Trust. Brothers.

David finally delivered on his promise of Thor stories, and boy did he! Join Thor, Loki and the gang as they travel to the Giant capital, deal with overdrunk guests, and wade through a gross and surprising river! 

David has been sick all week, so Michael thought he'd be nice and bring him a story with practically no conflict. Ever wanted to see a hare and a monkey wrestle? Wonder no more! Super strength 8-year olds, sudden rivers, arm wrestling and more! 

It's time to return to Asgard! This week's stories all feature everyone's favorite trickster, Loki! What's the deal with Idun's apples? Could a skier and a sailor ever make it work? Would you have a multiples doing one for a pretty necklace? All this week!

**NSFW WARNING** Michael returns with the next installment of everyone's favorite incest-laden Victorian era British erotica! Who is the mysterious "older" woman Mrs. Leslie? How much champagne before butt stuff happens? Did you bring narcotics for the drive home? Find out this week!

It's the thrilling conclusion of the long awaited Jesus story! Join David and Michael for a run through of some of the more famous miracles, parables, and eventually the torture-packed endgame! If you think you know how this one ends... you're most likely totally correct. This is one of the most famous stories ever told.

David goes back to his roots to finally start the New Testament of the Bible. That's right, it's Jesus time! From the immaculate conception to a brief stint as a vintner and beyond, come hear the first part of the story that gave us Christmas!

It's a special Saturday episode of Story Time (meaning just that it was recorded on a Saturday, nothing else is different)! Michael brought David a classic fairy tale, and David gets pretty upset about a door. Plus, the debate rages on about whether or not you'd die if you ripped yourself in half.

We're going back to Asgard, Niflheim, and all the realms in between with more Norse myths! Stories with dangerous deals, magical blood-honey, and an evil family with a TERRIBLE reputation. Please excuse Michael's joke to start things off but he was just so proud of it.

Michael takes a break from bringing us Victorian erotica to bring us another Hans Christian Andersen story, but this one is a little different. Take a peek into the world of Elf and Goblin geopolitics, hang out with the bone-horse and grave-pig, and don't forget to eat a big helping of window grass and rusty nails!

**NSFW WARNING** Boy oh boy, Michael is back with more Victorian-era erotica! Things get much dirtier as a new addition to the group makes for even more old-timey orgasms. David thought he was ready for everything this episode had to offer, but was sorely mistaken. Be warned, there is definitely some objectionable content in this one!

Michael and David felt bad that they didn't have a full story for this week, so to make up for it have unearthed an unused mini-story! Get ready to meet the Devil and his sooty brother, learn the value of following directions, but above all #WWDD (what would Devil do?)

It's David's turn again, and that means old myths! This week we take our first steps into Norse mythology, and all the difficult spelling that comes with it.  We've got frost giants, insult carrying squirrels, and of course, Ginnungagap. Get ready for some Viking violence!