Story Matters Podcast

Season Four wrap up! When stories are unresolved, our bodies feel the tension so we often divert by looking for a way to tie everything up with a bow. “It’s fine.” “It’ll all work out.” Even faith language can become a bow we use to exit the pain before we’ve actually felt it. We talk about silver linings that bypass grief, the pressure to explain suffering, and J. I. Packer’s train yard illustrat...

“They will know we are Christians by our love” is true, but what if the clearest proof of love is our ability to repair after rupture? Ryan and Emily Baker dig into why repair is strangely missing as a category in many Christian families, churches, and faith-based organizations and why that absence makes communities fragile instead of safe. We talk about “weak systems” and how good intentions don’...

Betrayal is brutal: it takes a relationship, a community, or an institution that was supposed to be safe and turns it into a source of harm.  We unpack betrayal trauma through the lens of shalom, the way things are supposed to be, and we talk about the “ripple effect” that spreads into your limbic system, your future relationships, and your view of God. We also name the amplification that happens...

Gossip sneaks in dressed up as concern, processing, connecting, or the classic church-friendly cover of a prayer request.  We talk through a gut-check illustration that still gets us: what if a device instantly alerted someone the moment you started talking about them? We expose the hidden contract gossip creates between the speaker and the listener, where we quietly step into the seat of judge wh...

We talk about the motives that bring people to this podcast, narrative-focused trauma care, counseling, and discipleship. We love the desires that drive us, and we also name the risk. When we use Jesus as a tool to get a specific outcome, we shrink the gospel. Drawing on C.S. Lewis, we explore that in seeking God first, we trust that the fruit we’re craving often gets thrown in as a byproduct. Fro...

Emily continues her conversation with author and podcaster Melanie Shankle to talk about her memoir Here Be Dragons and the surprising metaphor that helped her finally see boundaries clearly: her dog’s leg amputation. The loss was painful, but it also removed the source of constant suffering and made room for real freedom. That same question hangs over so many of our lives: what are we still toler...

Some family pain doesn’t look dramatic from the outside, which is exactly why it can trap you for decades. Emily sits down with three-time New York Times bestselling author Melanie Shankle to talk about her book "Here Be Dragons."  We talk about how helping a daughter navigate mean girls uncovered a deeper story of generational trauma, people pleasing, and the old parental scripts that s...

Resistance is something we all feel at times. We know growth is good, we know story work matters, and yet we'd rather stay in “get things done” mode rather than feel what’s tender. We lean into that tension of a nervous system that doesn’t want to shift gears.  When we lack flexibility, we get stuck in one state of being and even small endeavors like journaling can feel costly.  We talk throu...

This is an updated and edited episode replacing the one we accidentally published two weeks ago.  In it we discuss how your mind can say “I trust God” while your body quietly braces for abandonment. That tension is not a character flaw, it’s often a story. We sit with the hard reality of a divided self: the logical part of us reaches for faith, while the limbic system carries old alarms that flare...

In this conversation, drawing from Mark 9, Romans 7, and Romans 12, we unpack ambivalence. Two opposing truths can freeze the body, fog the mind, and keep the heart guarded. Rather than calling one wrong and another right, we ask what each part is protecting, and we invite Jesus to carry the burden those defenses have held for years. We explore why evil can look orderly and why legalism masquerade...

Ever set a bold goal only to watch your body reach for the old comfort? We pull back the curtain on why change feels like a tug-of-war, showing how the limbic system, dopamine, and attachment history shape cravings—and why that makes perfect sense. Rather than shaming the body or glorifying willpower, we map a kinder route to lasting transformation where faith and neuroscience meet. We unpack the...

We kick off Season 4 with a timely exploration of goals, Lent, and the deeper workings of the human heart. Drawing from neuroscience and Christian spiritual formation, we unpack why 80–90% of our daily actions originate in the limbic system and how that reality reframes change, healing, and sanctification. We define the “inner world” of the heart—emotions, memory, and subconscious patterns and the...

In Season 1 we had a conversation the week of Thanksgiving that we want to share again as we conclude Season 3. Holiday tables can be warm, funny, and deeply desired—and they can also be minefields of subtle jabs, old roles, and unspoken rules. We name the ache beneath nostalgia and share a grounded, faith-based way to move from autopilot to awareness so you can keep your peace without losing your...

What if the shortest path to joy runs straight through your tears? We sit down with Mary Ellen Owen to unpack why uncomforted harm teaches us to banish tenderness, how that “closed book” stance blocks love, and why grief— often done in the presence of a safe other—becomes embodied surrender that restores our capacity for connection. This conversation bridges trauma theory, attachment, and Christia...

We sit down with counselor and artist Mary Ellen Owen for a candid, life-giving conversation about why tears matter, how to tell when your present reactions are hooked to old stories, and what it takes to move from self-protection to genuine comfort. Mary Ellen unpacks the crucial difference between acute grief—the wrecking ball moments of death, divorce, and diagnosis—and the quieter, lingering g...

A simple question can expose a lifetime of scripts: what do you want? We unpack why that prompt can feel threatening, trivial, or strangely blank, and trace the roots back to childhood moments where wanting was ignored, shamed, or made expensive. From birthday wishes to high-stakes life decisions, we show how many of us learned to kill off desire or tailor it to others’ capacity—and why that strat...

We explore how triggers reveal unhealed wounds, and how integrating top‑down truth with bottom‑up practices helps the body and mind trust each other again. A biblical story of David’s overreaction, real‑life examples with horses and rivers, and practical disciplines show how redemption replaces denial. • what a trigger is and why reactions can be disproportionate • understanding the brain with eas...

The word “triggered” has wandered far from its clinical roots, but we all hear it referenced often. We pull the term back into focus by walking through what actually happens when the brain’s alarm system misfires and how prior wounds teach the amygdala to sprint while the prefrontal “watchtower” is still lacing its shoes.  We break the triune brain into plain English: the thalamus gathers the data...

We make a clear, biblical case for "story-work" or anything under the umbrella of understanding your narrative in view of God's redemptive story.  We explore why people resist it—from theological objections to fear of feeling—while offering a simple, practical exercise to begin writing memories with courage. We move through four response categories and end with an invitation to set...

What if the advice you hate—“just sit in it”—isn’t a brush‑off, but a doorway to God’s presence, clarity, and change? We unpack why the phrase so often feels passive or even harmful, especially for those with abandonment wounds, and then rebuild it as a grounded, embodied practice of waiting with God. This isn’t wallowing and it isn’t spiritual bypassing. It’s a stage in healing where we refuse fa...

Genuine listening has become a rare art. In this episode, Ryan and Emily Baker break down ten practical strategies that transform ordinary conversations into sacred encounters. Whether one-on-one with a friend or in a small group, deep listening builds safe spaces for people to feel known and loved. In a polarized and sound-bite world, we hope this discussion will inspire and equip people to live...

What if integrity isn't about moral perfection, but about truthful living? This conversation explores integrity as the alignment between our inner and outer worlds – not a flawless character, but an honest one. When we experience trauma or painful events, our minds often fragment as a protective mechanism. We compartmentalize, hide away vulnerable parts, and create false narratives to help us...

Shame traps us in impossible situations where every path seems wrong. These "binds" leave us feeling anxious, stuck, and desperate for solutions that never quite materialize. But what if the way forward isn't finding the perfect answer, but naming the trap itself? In this concluding episode of our shame series, Ryan and Emily Baker tackle the question they often hear when pain is fe...

In this episode, Ryan and Emily Baker unpack the subtle ways shame operates as rocket fuel for our accomplishments—from Michael Jordan fabricating opponents' trash talk to motivate himself, to the high-achieving Christian who serves tirelessly but never feels like enough. They explore how shame doesn't just make us feel inadequate; it actively drives us into cycles of performance that pr...

Shame is not just one of many emotions we stumble into but rather the alienation we feel from God from conception that persists even after becoming a Christian. We explore the shame grandiosity cycle, where we attempt to cover our shame through performance that inevitably leads to falling and confirming our original self-contempt. What's particularly insidious about this cycle is that our see...