Square Roots - THE Classic RPG Podcast

Final Fantasy XII Part 6 Stay tuned past the credits for a very, very special bonus Level Up! Today on Square Roots: we learn all about the origins of meatloaf, Al-Cid's assistant goes from schoolgirl to business casual as things get serious; Jim and Matthew get a sweet new comic idea; the gang questions the transport infrastructure of another fantasy world; we meet the greatest hunt of all time;...

Final Fantasy XII Part 5 Who would kill Judge Judy? We have the answer, and it's not who you think on this political intrigue packed episode of Square Roots: Topics included for your approval: Vanessa takes a third taco option; Sega conning John into buying $80 Yakuza games; sub-nipular body hair; one of our crew mixes up the words to Peter Gabriel's Sledgehammer and Information Society's What's O...

Final Fantasy XII Part 4 So much political dramatics. Will Vayne kill Larsa? Will Larsa kill Vayne? Who are all these Senators? Do these judges want to kill Vayne or Larsa? What happens if you leave deifacted nethecite in the oven just a little too long? FIND OUT. Also: Vanessa does stand up, wedding ring re-use is discussed, we dive into physiological gender divergence among the Viera, Vanessa ma...

Final Fantasy XII Part 3 We descend into the spooky depths of the Tomb of Raithwall to help prove that Ashe is really a princess in this sand-filled, Star Warsy episode of Square Roots. So many questions that we may or may not answer in this episode. Does Vaan also hate sand? Does Larsa have a crush on Penelo? Is Fran the Chewbacca? Are there any zones in this game that aren't vaguely desert-y? Wh...

Final Fantasy XII - Part 2 Have you seen Judge Reinhold? He was last seen in the company of a mysterious woman with hair described as "Lord Vayne-like". If not: take a listen as we push through dungeons and mines and fight goopy cloecas; we meet Final Fantasy XII's cast of Judges, including Gabranth, Ghis, Judy, and Joe Brown; Matthew insults the entire cast of Wet Hot American Summer; there's far...

Final Fantasy XII - Part 1 The gang gets exposition overload as Final Fantasy XII opens the firehouse of names and places of importance in the world of Ivalice. But that's not all! Jim got incepted and doesn't remember a thing from his last playthrough. What are they trying to hide? Other topics discussed include: Kevin Spacey's punchability, Cardassian shoe lines, levelling down, Vanessa's theory...

Persona 3 - Part 10 Please be aware due to the nature of the game suicide is discussed. Finally, we end the scourge of Nyx, the Death God and finish Persona 3! Topics covered today include: casting Persona 3 with TGIF sitcom stars; visual metaphors for finger stuff; sudden difficulty spikes; and a return to Matthew with his Secrets of Life segment. Many questions are answered: was the MC just slee...

Persona 3 - Part 8 THE NEXT GAME IS ANNOUNCED! YOU WON'T BELIEVE ONDORE'S THIGHS! Please be aware due to the nature of the game suicide is discussed. What is the meaning of life? Why live in terror when you could die in peace? Ryoji offers these questions in his final bargain as we close out the year in the classic Atlus JRPG Persona 3. There's more exams, we go on Christmas dates, and there's an...

Persona 3 - Part 8 Please be aware due to the nature of the game suicide is discussed.   Things don't go super well for the Persona gang, but Jim, John, Matthew and Vanessa aren't worried. It's zag after zag in a twisty, plot heavy episode of Persona 3! We meet Ryoji! There's a trip to Kyoto! There's a stealth section! Questions asked include: Are eyebuds gonna be a thing? Can you get sick from sw...

Persona 3 - Part 7 Please be aware due to the nature of the game suicide is discussed. 12:00am 11/04/09 On a Wednesday... Square Roots: The Gang Gets Crucified! Join Matt, Jim, John, and Nessa for the latest ep of Square Roots! We talk Persona 3 Full Moon Operation 7! We drink too much and smoke too much and vape too much and curse too much and generally do things that teenagers would think is coo...

Persona 3 - Part 6 Please be aware due to the nature of the game suicide is discussed. So many important questions today as we press through September. Was Liam Neeson in Surf Ninjas? Was Zangief originally a villain? Is Ted Cruz the Zodiac Killer, or merely three children stacked up pretending to be a grown-up? Did Kenny go all The Good Son? Was Anne Heche in The Good Son? What was the one weakne...

Persona 3 - Part 5 Please be aware due to the nature of the game suicide is discussed. What happened to Cerberus? Did the Ninja Turtles take the red pill? Why does John pronounce Tarot weird? Does Lolligoth really like Junpei? Is Chidori inspired by Steve Martin? Why did John not get a date to the summer festival? Is Fuuka's ab-abber machine doing more than tickling her? What happens when Junpei m...

Persona 3 - Part 4 Please be aware due to the nature of the game suicide is discussed. Yukari finally confronts Mitsuru on her drama and the Countess throws wine in Theresa's face; things get very Ghostbustersy ten years ago thanks to the Kijiro Group's shenanigans; the very regrettable Operation: Babe Hunt; the detailed simulation that is Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball; there are several...

Persona 3 - Part 3 Please be aware due to the nature of the game suicide is discussed. We discover what happens when Matthew is missing from an episode: we get super, super creepy. Topics covered this episode include: nonconsentual clothing options, Marduk, and the Male Gaze; more Adam Jr. and the Bachelorette; the legality of Japanese Love Hotels; pink goo; that one teacher who got pregnant from...

Persona 3 - Part 2 Please be aware due to the nature of the game suicide is discussed. We storm the school in this week's Square Roots! An epic, spooky ghost-story filled Full Moon Operation is just the start though, as we get some new team members, battle some baddies, and maybe, MAYBE talk about mid-terms. Topics covered include: John's disturbing paternal instincts; Parent Fight Club; we rename...

Persona 3 - Part 1 Please be aware due to the nature of the game suicide is discussed. ALRIGHT! Finally, we move on to a real meaty, grindy, turn-basedey game! And we LOVE it. In this episode we answer a lot of questions: Bernie Janders or Best Jugs? Are evokers real guns? Does sleeping in class make you more popular? Is Shuji a creep? Who would show up at GeckoCon 2016? What's the difference betw...

Kingdom Hearts - Part 7 We push to the finish of Kingdom Hearts in record time, reflecting on the journey as we destroy the... six?... forms of Ansem. Other topics enjoyed today: Race Jenkins PI; Finding Kurt Zisa; Come Guardian / Eldritch Backpack / Come Kazooie / Banjo Cthulu; this is the new flesh: a floating turducken of biomechanical anime tropes; Pluto just being really into pup play; KINGDO...

Kingdom Hearts - Part 6 NEXT GAME ANNOUNCEMENT! Matthew has audio problems throughout this episode and kind of disappears for a bit. Highlights of this episode include: it ain't no Hollow Bastion; we get randomly ditched by Donald and Goofy; Vanessa, Jim and Matthew defend the virtues of the Goofy Movie; an analysis of the later works of Clarabel Cow; Riku's Super Saiyan Suit; Banksy's See n' Say;...

Kingdom Hearts - Part 5 Check out our new, limited time only store: http://coachsassistant.gtmsportswear.com/squareroots Vanessa, Matthew, Jim and John tackle two more worlds in this smashing episode of Square Roots. Questions resolved include: who directed A Nightmare Before Christmas? Is Tinkerbell thicc? Just who is Chris Sarandon anyway? Is flying the only element of childish joy in Matthew's...

Kingdom Hearts - Part 4 Check out our new, limited time only store: http://coachsassistant.gtmsportswear.com/squareroots What is vore? John explains. This is relevant: today we get swallowed by Monstro before heading off to the Little Mermaid world of Atlantica, where Ursula also tries to swallow you! Also: being eaten alive by snakes, BRIAN BLESSED RETURNS, we imagine Dreamworks Hearts, puppet fe...

Kingdom Hearts - Part 3 Check out our new, limited time only store: http://coachsassistant.gtmsportswear.com/squareroots Do you know where you are? You're in the jungle, baby. You're gonna die! Is there any way to tell what age Joseph Gordon Levitt is in any particular role? Is Angels in the Outfield a good movie? Not only do we debate blue genie versus red genie on kiss softness, stealing from Wi...

Kingdom Hearts - Part 2 Check out our new, limited time only store: http://coachsassistant.gtmsportswear.com/squareroots We begin with Vanessa's Corrections Corner as she realizes there may have been some factual inaccuracies in the previous podcast. Also: Vanessa unleashes a sick burn, John debuts Level Up Classic to much consternation, Encyclopedia Van Zandt does sound detective work over Vaness...

Kingdom Hearts - Part 1 Check out our new, limited time only store: http://coachsassistant.gtmsportswear.com/squareroots It's a relatively smut-free episode as we take a raft through the galaxy that is Kingdom Hearts. All the hosts are amazed by John's flawless and totally not terrifying Donald Duck impression as well as David Boreanis's acting. Other questions today include: what's a gummi ship?...

Super Mario RPG Part 4!  Check out our new, limited time only store: http://coachsassistant.gtmsportswear.com/squareroots We start off with 65 Rules For Dating My Gay Friend John, the terrible 6 Doors of Disappointment, the insane boss rush that is the final stage, discussing the physiology of Exor, casting a new hypothetical Super Mario Brothers movie, we trade Culex strategies, Matthew relies on...

Hi Sqooters! John here! With only hours to spare I'm here to post the #Trypod special. Here's a chance for you to share the Comrade Radio podcasts with non-podcast listening buddies, and a chance for you to check out what's up with the other Comrade Radio shows. I'll allow Malcolm to take over: Here at the network, we're nothing if not sheep, and as such we're fiercely devoted to the latest social...