Speaking of Teens

Does your teenager dream of making millions by playing video games? Streaming to millions of adoring fans and landing huge sponsorship deals? Do they play on an e-sports team or dream of going to a top e-sports college? No doubt our job as moms got a little harder when gaming became a “sport” or something you could make millions of dollars doing. The argument that they’re “practicing” or “working”...

How does your teen or tween feel about the amount of homework they have? Are they staying up late to get it done and constantly playing catch up on the weekends and complaining because it takes time away from other activities or socializing?  And how much time do you spend thinking about and talking to them about homework? For many families it's a major source of conflict, drama, and stress....

This week’s episode is the second part of the conversation we began last week in episode #42 with my guest, Kriya Lendzion , an addiction and prevention specialist and adolescent clinician. Last week we discussed how today’s substances are vastly different from those of our youth, why our kids try them to begin with (despite all our warnings), how easily they can become addicted and how we should...

One of the most significant and potentially troublesome issues we face as the parent of an adolescent is their potential use of substances (alcohol, nicotine, weed, party drugs, etc.) Depending on our background, our upbringing, our experiences with those substances, we can develop vastly different perspectives and attitudes about our kid’s potential use. Some parents see drinking or smoking weed...

Parenting the neurotypical teenager is not a job for the faint at heart, but when your teen has an ADHD diagnosis, it can feel downright daunting. In this week’s episode, although my guest, Dr. Mark Bertin , (a board certified developmental behavioral pediatrician, on the board of directors for the American Professional Society of ADHD and Related Disorders) specifically addresses parents of teens...

This episode is marked explicit because of language contained in soundbites and quotes from Andrew Tate. I believe it’s absolutely necessary to hear the exact language to understand the totality of his dangerous message.   Andrew Tate - or “Top-G” as his legions of fans call him - has also been called the "King of Toxic Masculinity” by those who are not as easily duped. Teachers know about hi...

Lying. It’s always up there with “Cheating and Stealing”. And none of it sounds too good when we’re talking about our own teenager.  No one wants to believe their kid could lie to them. And once it happens, it’s terribly hard to for us to trust them again. They may directly lie to us, conveniently leave out specific information, or even avoid our questions entirely by steering the conversation. Wh...

There’s never a shortage of news stories about someone in a position of power or authority who has physically, emotionally, or sexually abused a child or an adolescent in their care. We’ve seen it in schools, churches, sports organizations - anywhere adults are in charge of young people.  And for all the high-profile cases, there are thousands more that perhaps involve fewer kids or a not-so-famou...

For many people food is a non-issue. They eat regular meals, snack when they feel the need, indulge now and then but don’t beat themselves up about it. But some people develop a strange relationship with food – often one that started in adolescence. It may start innocently enough – a fad diet, a decision to go “gluten free” or become a vegan. But, as we learn in our discussion with Dr. Marcia Herr...

The broad range of violence that teenagers inflict on one another is staggering. Dating violence, sexual violence, bullying, cyberbullying, physical assaults, gun violence, suicide, verbal violence, hate speech and emotional abuse.  Of course, the physical violence is most terrifying for parents. Middle schoolers carrying guns and knives. Fights breaking out at ballgames, parties and in the halls...

Self-compassion may not yet be a household term, but it turns out there’s some very persuasive research regarding the positive impact of this fairly simple practice. It appears to be a powerful way to combat “self-negativity”.  And who among us tends to be the most self-critical, filled with self-doubt, and internalized negativity? That’s right, adolescents. Their brain is changing in such a way t...

If you’ve never been bullied, you’ve at least known a bully or seen one in action. And a teenage bully with the internet and a cell phone at their disposal is about as bad as it gets. Teens and tweens are still gradually learning to have empathy for others – it’s not an innate ability. That’s one of the reasons we see kids treat each other so badly, so often. And, again, the internet just makes it...

Be sure to first listen to episode 32 , Teens, Sexting, Revenge Porn, and Sextortion (Yikes), before coming back here to episode 33. Last week we learned about teens, sexting, revenge porn, and sextortion. And in the first part of today’s episode, we’ll discuss how to talk to them about these issues (see download below). In the second part of the episode, we’ll talk about the potential legal ramif...

It appears that at least 15% of teens have sent a "sext" and at least 27% have received (at least) one. And 90% of teens and tweens believe that most everyone else is sexting. The scientific data on this issue is still in its infancy (as is the phenomenon itself) but from all appearances, many teens accept this new form of communication as part of their sexual exploration. It also appear...

Becoming the parent we want to be can seem daunting when we’re learning a new way of thinking or feeling or acting (or all three). Learning to parent without fear, remembering to acknowledge their feelings, to listen to their opinions, to negotiate, to hold back on our advice and our instinct to jump in and fix things for them…it can be extremely difficult for some of us. Just remembering what to...

Our various mindsets, the lens’ through which we interpret our world, not only influence our parenting but greatly impact the relationship with our teens and tweens and the way they think and behave. There’s a lot of talk about how important a “growth mindset” is for our kids and teenagers. But what about our mindsets? A parent’s mindsets are critical to their kids’ overall wellbeing. We’ll talk a...

Speaking of Teens is sponsored by https://neurogility.com , an organization I founded after our family went through a couple of difficult years with our teenage son who struggled with ADHD, learning issues, horrible anxiety, major depression and all the associated academic, social, self-medication, legal and behavior issues. When we finally got on the right track, I decided to learn everything I c...

How much faith should you have in your teen’s mental health diagnosis? Exactly how does someone diagnose a mental health disorder like generalized anxiety, major depression, or bipolar disorder in a tween or teen? Who can make these diagnoses and upon what basis do they make these weighty decisions?  When we ask a professional to assess or evaluate our teen or tween for a possible mental health is...

I’m recording episodes every other week between now and the end of the year, but I wanted to tell you what’s been on my mind this week. I’ll be back next Tuesday the 29th with another full episode. If you’re in the US, have a Happy Thanksgiving and thank you for listening! Show Notes Find our FREE Parenting Guides Here     "I just wanted to let you know that I'm so thankful for your podc...

Have you ever wanted to peer into your teen’s brain and see exactly what they were thinking? While they can be pretty darn “vocal” when they’re upset, they’re most often unable to fully articulate what they really want you to understand.  Often, however, they’re able to write about it later or talk to another adult about it…and that’s what I’ve got for you today - the skinny on what our teens and...

Teens, tweens and “young adults” (all adolescents ) are some of the most emotional creatures on earth! Not only is their brain wired for automatic negative emotions (with no thinking required) but they are also very prone to automatic negative thoughts, which also lead to negative emotions. And negative emotions lead to negative behaviors like the typical sulking, yelling, door-slamming (and worse...

I was going to try and push through my flu to record an episode for today but I just couldn't do it. Instead, I have a quick personal message. Thank you for your patience and I'll be back next week (fingers crossed).  Speaking of Teens is sponsored by https://neurogility.com , an organization I founded after our family went through a couple of difficult years with our teenage son who str...

Maintaining a deep emotional connection with our child is not just important for our relationship, it’s critical in keeping them mentally healthy and physically safe. Our influence with them now depends on that connection. We no longer have as much control over their life. All of our influence in the way they think, feel, and behave lies in our connection with them.  Today we’ll talk about some of...

NOTE: If you haven’t listened to Part 1 - Episode 24, I recommend that you stop here and go back and listen and then come back and listen to this Episode 25. Last week in Part 1, we examined the backdrop of societal and cultural issues, social norms, gender stereotypes and the justice system that combine to make sexual harassment and sexual violence the norm among our teenagers. Today we’ll dig de...

The topic of consent is so multifaceted and complex, one episode just won’t do it justice. Before we can talk to our teenagers about consent, what it means, how you get it and how you give it, we really need to understand the bigger issues at play and what we’re up against.  We must examine the backdrop of societal and cultural issues, social norms, gender stereotypes and the justice system that c...