Speaking of Teens

In this episode, I'm breaking down one of the most emotionally charged challenges parents face...teen friendship drama...and sharing exactly what to do (and what not to do) when your teenager comes home in tears over a falling out with their friend group. You'll also learn why social rejection genuinely feels life-threatening to the adolescent brain, how boys and girls navigate friend co...

In this episode, I'll completely flip your understanding of teen discipline — because if grounding, taking the phone, punishing, and lecturing haven't worked, it's not because you haven't tried hard enough, it's because those approaches are working against your teen's developing brain.  Today I'm breaking down exactly why traditional punishment backfires every si...

In this episode, I'm sharing some of the most powerful, science-backed strategies you can use to help motivate your teen to change their relationship with substances — without the yelling, punishing, lecturing, or ultimatums that likely haven't been working.  Drawing from the highly regarded book Beyond Addiction , I walk you through two of the most effective tools available to parents o...

Today I’ll explain exactly what to do when you discover your teen is drinking, vaping, or using drugs. You’ll learn how to have a calm, connected conversation with your teen, how to understand why your teen is using substances, how to approach them with empathy instead of confrontation, and practical strategies to keep them safe while maintaining trust.  I also review the critical mistakes we pare...

In today's episode I break down the neuroscience behind why teens are so vulnerable to substance use—and explain what you can actually do about it. If you're worried about your teen using alcohol, vaping, or marijuana, this episode is for you. I explain how the adolescent brain's reward system, weak prefrontal cortex, and neuroplasticity create the perfect storm for risky behavior....

Today I'm going to share why your teenager seems so lazy and unmotivated, and what you can actually do about it that won't backfire.  I'll explain what's happening in that unmotivated brain of theirs and why punishment, rewards, and nagging to get them to do their homework or study are only making things worse.  Plus, I'll walk you through Dr. Adam Price's (author of...

In this episode, I explain how you may be unwittingly overparenting (aka, helicopter parenting) your teen—and why doing too much for or controlling your teenager actually sets them up for failure as a young adult.  I'll explain what helicopter parenting really looks like and the psychological damage it causes to our teens, young adults, or college-age kids. You'll also learn practical st...

It seems reasonable and logical that drug testing your teenager at home could keep them safe or at least keep them accountable. However, the opposite is actually true. Today I discuss the damage we cause when we drug test our teens at home and why drug testing is simply not practical and isn't the solution you may think it is. I'll also explain what you should do instead if you want to d...

Today is the eighth and final episode in my Fundamentals of Parenting Teens podcast series. If your teen shuts down around you, keeps things from you, has big emotional reactions to everything you say, or is acting out in risky ways, you probably have a connection problem.  In today's episode, I explain exactly what connection means, why it's critical for parenting emotional teens, and h...

Today is the seventh episode in my Fundamentals of Parenting Teens podcast series. If you're dealing with a teenager who seems to push back against everything you say, punishment or consequences aren’t the answer and will probably make things worse.  In this episode, I'll explain why traditional discipline backfires with teenagers and what actually works instead.  You'll learn why p...

Today is the sixth episode in my Fundamentals of Parenting Teens podcast series. Do you feel helpless in the face of your teen's emotional meltdowns? Today, I'll teach you a scientifically proven technique for helping your teen actually calm down. It's called emotion coaching and it will transform how you handle your teenager's big feelings and emotional outbursts. We're g...

Today is the fifth episode in my Fundamentals of Parenting Teens podcast series. Want to stop the power struggles with your teen? The secret isn't changing them—it's changing YOU. In this episode, discover how your thoughts, emotions, and reactions directly influence your teenager's behavior. I'll show you how to reappraise situations, manage stress, and create the space you ne...

Today is the fourth episode in my Fundamentals of Parenting Teens podcast series. (Previous episodes in the series: 234 , 235 , and 236 ) If you're constantly battling with your teenager and their behavior seems to be getting worse instead of better, the problem might not be your teen—it might be your approach. In today's episode I'll explain why supporting your teen's autonomy...

Today is the third episode in my Fundamentals of Parenting Teens podcast series. (Previous episodes in the series: 234  and  235 ) Why do teens do such “stupid” things? Why do they take such risks? In this episode I explain the science behind why your teenager does dangerous, stupid, or reckless things—from driving too fast to sneaking out to experimenting with drugs and alcohol. Learn how your te...

Today is the second episode in my Fundamentals of Parenting Teens podcast series. (The first episode in the series: 234 ) If you're struggling with your teen's anger, emotional outbursts, and irrational behavior, this episode will help you understand and manage better. I'll explain the neuroscience behind your teenager's emotionally driven misbehavior...including how your teen&...

Today is the first episode in my Fundamentals of Parenting Teens podcast series. I'm revisiting this series that I first published back in episodes 130 through 137. I'll be walking you through the basics that we cover in my course, The Field Guide for Teens , that you get inside Parent Camp . This is the framework I formulated over thousands of hours of research , which has helped change...

I made some critical mistakes with our teenage son when we were struggling with his behavior issues. Some of us are so deeply entrenched in certain parenting strategies that we don't even recognize they're not effective (and may actually be making things worse). Life is so busy that we're usually in "reaction" mode and have little time to think in advance or look for a bet...

Are you struggling with difficult teen behavior, constant conflict, and feeling like nothing you do actually works?  In today's episode I explain that the secret to better teen behavior isn't administering the right consequences or enforcing stricter rules—it's developing your own emotional regulation skills. Your emotions and your emotional reactions directly impact your teenager&a...

Are smartphones and social media really destroying teen mental health, or are we panicking as we have many times in the past? From novels, radio, and comic books, to TV violence, and violent video games...they've all been blamed for corrupting teenage minds and harming their mental health.  Listen to today's episode to understand why the current research on teen mental health, smart phon...

A calm, structured, predictable home life is as important for teens and tweens as it is for children. Scientific research shows that the opposite will have a negative effect on adolescent's mental health and overall wellbeing and could lead to behavioral issues. In today's episode I talk about 5 ways you can interject more calm into your home with teens to help alleviate their stress (an...

Struggling to get your teen or tween to school? You're not alone.  If your teen is refusing to get out of bed for school, constantly leaving early, or complaining of physical symptoms like headaches and stomach aches when it's time for school, this isn't laziness or defiance—it's likely school refusal , a real emotional and physical response that affects up to 25% of teens aged...

Thoughts lead to emotions, which lead to actions. If we don't take time to examine our thinking, we can become stuck in some very unproductive cycles in parenting our teenagers (and in other relationships). Just because we think something doesn't make it true or correct. And if our thoughts are untrue, what does that mean for our emotions and behavior? Today I talk about how cognitive bi...

Neurotypical teens, teens without any mental health disorders at all, experience emotional dysregulation from time to time (some more than others). This is simply a byproduct of their changing brain and an oversensitive threat detector (the brain's amygdala). But teens with ADHD, certain mood disorders, and personality disorders are much more likely to experience intense mood swings and even...

I talked about parenting out of fear in the very first episode of this podcast. Because my own fear is what led me down such a long hard path with my son, I wanted to make sure you were aware of the issues it causes. Now that I've been able to work for a couple of years on refining this message, I'm back to share again why we must not let our anxious thoughts derail our parenting. This i...

When someone hurts your child, physically or emotionally, no matter if they're 10 or 25, you want it to stop immediately.   And bullying is one of those things you may not even be aware of.  You won't see it and you won't likely even know about it unless your teen or tween tells you. In this episode, I'll tell you what to watch out for, how to talk to your teen about their bull...