Speaking of Teens

Your teen's autonomy, the level to which they are allowed to make their own decisions, their ability to handle mistakes and the natural consequences from those mistakes - all of this has a huge impact on their later independence, and ability to cope as an emerging adult. Today I’m going to talk to you about how, despite your best intentions to protect your child from all the bad stuff, keep t...

Most of us sail on through life without ever stopping to examine our own thoughts, emotions and behavior...without doing some deep introspection to discover why we think and feel the way we do about things. But if you want to change, you want to bring more calm into your life, you have to truly know yourself. You need to know the why behind your behavior (which lies in your thoughts and emotions!)...

Did you know that 98% of teens lie about at least one issue or another? And guess what? The general consensus among researchers and mental health professionals is that this is not only normal, but it would be a little worrisome if they didn’t lie a bit. The good news is, this is not a character flaw or a sign that they’re going to grow up to be a liar. By the time people reach adulthood, about thr...

If you're like every other parent of a teen or tween, you've dealt with your share of attitude, disrespect, snarky comments, and maybe even a hefty does of mean digs. Why do teens and tweens act this way and how can you manage it without causing even more conflict between you? Join me today to discover just how to approach your teen's smarty pants comments and help them learn to tur...

Teen and tween behavior can be maddening, frustrating, and confusing for parents. Those feelings can consume you and cause you to miscommunicate, scold, lecture, and punish.  Understanding why your teenager behaves the way they do, will not only help you manage your feelings about it but will help you respond to them more appropriately.  Join me today as I explain some of the most common teenage b...

ADHD in teens and tweens is much more complicated than you may understand. Yes, it can have a major impact on your teenager’s ability to focus and do their schoolwork, but the social and emotional fallout can be even more problematic. Today I’ll talk about how ADHD is not only a skills-based issue, but one that causes additional stress in your teenager’s daily life, affects their ability to regula...

Getting your teen to do what they're supposed to do (or not do what they're not supposed to do) is a sticking point for so many parents. You probably feel like a broken record most days and then still can't get the cooperation you want (and many times end up in arguments and power struggles). Well, in this episode I review a) the basics that you need to understand even before you tr...

Today's episode is the 3rd and final installment of my 3-part Teen Anxiety Series. In episode 215, I talked about the signs and symptoms of Teen Anxiety. In episode 216, I talked about the diagnosis and treatment for Teen Anxiety. And today, I'm discussing a variety of strategies and tools parents can use to help their anxious teens and tweens (alongside therapy). Helping your teen manag...

How do you know if your teen is experiencing normal, everyday anxiety or their symptoms indicate an anxiety disorder ? And, as the parent of an anxious teen, who do you reach out to for help? Which professionals do what and how does it all work?  Today I'll explain everything you need to know about having your teen or tween evaluated and treated for an anxiety disorder, including the roles of...

Anxiety in our teens and tweens is far too commonplace. Understanding how it happens and being able to spot the signs and symptoms is extremely important for parents. Parents often mistake anxiety symptoms for typical teen misbehavior. If you treat your teen's anxiety as something to be "disciplined" out of them, you will make their anxiety, your relationship, and their behavior so...

In today's episode I talk about the things I find myself repeating most in live sessions with parents of teens. These are changes you can make that will make an enormous difference in much influence you can maintain in their life.  I'll talk to you about:  a) remembering that your teen doesn’t think like you do,  b) staying calm when you engage with them, and  c) discussing issues with t...

Today's episode was first published at the beginning of this school year and is worth a second listen if you've already heard it.  At the time I recorded it, I had just coached a parent who needed help talking to her teenager about her friendship issues, without getting too involved in the drama and causing disconnection with her teen. What do you do or say when your teen shares with you...

We parents have been led to believe that for our teens and tweens to learn to behave appropriately, we must instill a little fear in them.  At the very least, we have to "show them we mean business" when they fail to meet our expectations or do something wrong. But discipline, it turns out, is not about retribution or fear or punishment (especially when it comes to parenting teenagers). ...

Parenting a teenager means dealing with new and often complicated issues on a daily basis.  There are constant requests to do something they've never done before and requests to change the current house rules, breaking the rules, their inability to live up to certain expectations, and on and on.  This is all part of parenting a teen or tween--but it's exhausting and often produces more a...

The conversations your teen or tween initiates are an opportunity to connect. But you often you miss that opportunity because of your own agenda to turn everything into a teachable moment . Your need to constantly correct how your teenager thinks, feels, and acts, interferes with your ability to connect with them on a deeper emotional level. You're inadvertently creating arguments and power s...

What's the scientific truth about ultra-processed foods? Kids and teens often survive on foods that would easily fall into this category.  Additives such as preservatives, artificial sweeteners, and food dyes can negatively impact a teenager's, a tween's, or a child's mental health and emotional regulation and behavior.  Listen and learn how substances in foods and beverages yo...

You know all those emails, texts (or even calls) you receive from your teen or tween's school about their assignments or grades?  How do they make you feel? How do they influence your parenting? Join me today as I advise you on how to avoid the issues these communications can cause between you and your teen. And you'll want to read today's Substack post where I talk about the mistak...

I have a special mini-episode today based on my time away in the mountains of Virginia this weekend with my stepdaughter and her boyfriend.  My stepchildren are so very similar in intellect and temperament but their personalities and lifestyles couldn't be more different.  This weekend's experience left me pondering (once again) the way we teach our teens the meaning of success or having...

Having talked to Casie Fariello ( Other Parents Like Me ) on the podcast last week about her son’s mental health struggle and their experience with his inpatient treatment, followed by a Substack post about getting insurance to pay for residential treatment—I realized I still had more to say on this topic. So, on today’s episode, I explain that sending your teen away from home for treatment for th...

In today's episode I'm speaking with Casie Fariello of the parenting support platform, Other Parents Like Me . All three of Casie's teens struggled with their mental health but it was her middle child that required a residential treatment center and a therapeutic boarding school. Her experience navigating these issues led her to launch her company to help support other parents like...

Parenting a teenager can be difficult--full stop.  But parenting a teen or tween with ADHD often presents next-level issues that we often don't associate with ADHD. These issues have more to do with an inability to manage their emotions than focus on schoolwork.  Emotional dysregulation is an often overlooked symptom of ADHD that can wreak havoc in adolescents' ( and parents' ) live...

Human behavior is complicated and depends on many factors including our own thoughts and emotions (which are impacted by the behavior of those around us). Adolescent behavior is further complicated by neurobiological changes. Their thoughts and emotions are not at all like ours and they don’t have the self-control that we have.  So, while we’re not necessarily at fault when our teen mis behaves, w...

If you just knew what to do to avoid all those arguments, power struggles and temper tantrums with your teen, right?! Well, that's what I'm hear to tell you about today. As parents of teens and tweens there are a handful of really big mistakes most of us make that cause us so much grief and we don't even realize it. Listen in and learn how to avoid so much of the conflict, the tempe...

In today's 201st episode of Speaking of Teens, I'm sharing the framework I teach inside Parent Camp, how I developed that framework, and why Parent Camp may just be the answer you've been looking for. If you've been listening to the podcast but you're still trying to figure out how to implement some of the strategies I discuss, you just might need the extra help you'l...

There's no world in which, after punishing, lecturing, or yelling at your teen for their misdeeds, they will say: "Thank you for that. I now understand the error of my ways and I will henceforth endeavor to adhere to your behavioral standards." Not gonna' happen. In this 200th episode of Speaking of Teens, let me help you understand why authoritarian, obedience-first, behavior-...