Softly Unfiltered Podcast

In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are talking about something that every Black woman in a predominantly white space has felt but does not always have the language for. The invisible labor of performing palatability. The exhaustion of scanning every room. The pressure to shrink yourself, over-explain yourself, and apologize for taking up space. And the very real question of how you stay pro-Black wh...

Welcome to Season 3 of Softly Unfiltered . Formerly known as Suburban Black Girl Podcast , we're back with a new name, the same mission, and a season opener that felt only right. Because what better way to kick off a rebrand than by talking about what happens when life forces you to change direction? In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn unpack the pivots, redirections, fear, and even grief that come...

In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are getting into something every woman has experienced but rarely says out loud. Why do female friendships sometimes come with unspoken competition instead of pure support? Why does the energy shift the moment you start surpassing someone? They get into jealousy, passive aggression, social media as a hater detector, and what it actually means to protect your peace...

In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are getting into something a lot of women have felt but couldn't always name. The difference between being fed up and being truly done. What settling actually looks like in real life, not the dramatic version but the quiet everyday version where you're pretending you're happy and dimming your light to keep the peace. And why you were never asking for too much. You...

In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are talking about something that does not get said enough. Why is a woman's life never allowed to just be enough on its own? Why does a successful, accomplished, thriving single woman still get treated like she is missing something? And why is it always a man that is supposed to complete the picture? They get into the double standards, the societal pressure, the da...

In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are breaking down something that a lot of high achieving women have felt but could never fully name. You can be the most confident, accomplished, successful woman in the room and still not believe you deserve the things you have built. That is the difference between self-esteem and self-worth. And in this episode they get deeply personal about where that gap comes...

In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are getting into something deeply personal and rarely talked about. The dating insecurities that come from growing up invisible. They talk about what happens when you grow up as a Black girl in predominantly white spaces, how not feeling chosen early on shapes your confidence, your standards, and your entire approach to love and dating as an adult. We got into: • H...

In this episode we are getting into something that a lot of women have experienced but not always been able to name. Dating the potential rich man. What happens when you believe in someone so much that you start abandoning your own timeline to help them stay on track with theirs? When does patience become emotional labor? And at what point do you have to look yourself in the eye and say this poten...

In this episode we sat down with Erica, The Confidence Coach (@theconfidencecoach), for a conversation that had us taking notes from start to finish. Erica is a mindset coach dedicated to helping women build self worth, set boundaries, and show up as their most confident selves. And she did not hold back. We got into: • The difference between being loved and being needed and why real love feels li...

In this episode Blake and Ashlyn are getting into something every woman can relate to but Black women feel on a whole other level. Why do we spend $500 on beauty without blinking but feel guilty spending money on anything else? From hair as mental health to corporate America's beauty expectations, to the moment you realize marketing has been manipulating you the whole time, this one hits. We got i...

In this episode we are getting into the money talk nobody actually wants to have about dating. We are talking about financial expectations, effort and intention, and whether the real issue is men being under prepared or women raising their standards as they level up. We also get into the transactional nature of all relationships, why equally yoked has to mean more than just financially, and whethe...

In this episode, we sat down with Asya, content creator and founder behind @conqueringasya, to talk about what it really looks like to build a platform as a Black woman in beauty and lifestyle. From navigating double standards with brand deals to unlearning the strong Black woman role in her relationship, Asya kept it real from start to finish. We got into: • How Asya started creating content in 2...

In this episode, Blake and Ashlyn get real about something nobody talks about enough. What happens when you actually get what you worked for and it just feels... flat. We talk about the anticlimactic feeling that comes after achieving a goal, why the chase can feel better than the arrival, and how we have both struggled to sit in wins without immediately moving the goalpost. We got into: • Why rea...

In this episode, we sat down with Caitlyn Kumi, Forbes 30 Under 30 honoree, founder of Miss Empower Her, and content creator, to talk about building a career, a personal brand, and a full life as an ambitious Black woman. We got into: • Why protecting your peace can sometimes mean you stop seeing red flags • The kind of corporate feedback Black women know all too well • Why your personal brand can...

In this episode, we’re talking about one of the biggest gray areas in modern dating: taking things slow. Is it emotional maturity and healthy pacing, or is it just avoidance dressed up as self awareness? We unpack the difference between intentional slowness and prolonged confusion, why so many people benefit from undefined timelines, and how easy it is to get stuck in situationships that look deep...

In this episode we’re talking about feminine energy and the pressure women feel to stay soft even when the relationship dynamic doesn’t feel supportive. We unpack why survival mode changes how women show up in relationships and how quickly attraction shifts when partnership starts feeling like parenting. What we discuss: • Why feminine energy feels impossible without safety • The survival mode man...

What happens when one person has done the work and the other hasn't even started? This week we're getting into a conversation that so many women are having behind closed doors but not enough people are saying out loud. In this episode we talk about: • Why survival mode shows up in dating and kills emotional intimacy • The difference between being a supportive partner and mothering a grown man • Ho...

In this episode, we’re talking about a season that does not get glamorized enough: the lonely in-between. What happens when life gets calmer, but your circle gets smaller? When you start choosing peace, setting boundaries, and outgrowing chaos… but the new version of your life has not fully formed yet? We talk about the difference between intentional isolation and loneliness, why peace can sometim...

In this episode, we unpack a question that hits deeper than people admit: Is outgrowing people a natural part of adulthood… or a failure of loyalty? As you evolve, set boundaries, and prioritize alignment, not everyone can come with you. And when you start choosing growth, people don’t always call it evolution they call it selfish, disloyal, or “you’ve changed.” We talk about the difference betwee...

In this episode, we’re asking a question that might make people uncomfortable: Do Black women from stable homes get dismissed, doubted, or overlooked because they don’t have a dramatic struggle story? We unpack the unspoken expectation that pain equals credibility and trauma equals depth. We talk about how growing up in a healthy environment can sometimes make you feel like you have to downplay yo...

In this episode, we unpack why choosing peace can feel less impressive than chasing ambition, especially in a culture that glorifies burnout, busy schedules, and visible success. We talk about hustle culture, the pressure to always be “doing something,” and why rest can feel like falling behind, even when your life actually feels better. We also get real about identity, boundaries, and how overach...

In this episode, we’re getting into why women’s confidence gets mislabeled as “ego” and how that label quietly pressures us to shrink, soften, and apologize for simply knowing who we are. We talk about how insecurity shows up as projection, why confident people aren’t threatened by other confident people, and why “humility” is sometimes just code for likability and compliance. We cover: Why confid...

In this episode, we explore what happens when healing starts to disrupt old dynamics especially with people who were most comfortable when you stayed quiet, over-explained, or made yourself smaller for the sake of peace. We talk about the difference between being self-aware and being emotionally regulated, why insight alone doesn’t equal growth, and how healing can feel uncomfortable not just for...

As we heal, we change. And not everyone benefits from that change. In this episode, we explore what happens when healing starts to disrupt old dynamics especially with people who were comfortable when you stayed quiet, over-explained, or made yourself smaller for the sake of peace. We talk about the difference between being self-aware and being emotionally regulated, why insight alone doesn’t equa...

In friendships, honesty is often framed as conflict and silence is framed as maturity. But what happens when keeping the peace starts to cost you emotional safety, self trust, and real connection? In this episode, we unpack the difference between healthy sisterhood and relationships that rely on you staying quiet. We talk about why growth is often labeled as “you’ve changed,” how boundaries get mi...