Social Skills Coaching

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home 00:01:34 Talk WITH people and not TO them. 00:03:07 Dr. Karl Albrecht in Psychology Today 00:15:53 Sustain Conversations with Conversational Threading and Useful Acronyms 00:22:50 Useful Conversational Acronyms The acronym HPM 00:25:17 Another useful acronym is EDR Hear it Here - https://bit....

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ExtractInfo 00:01:16 From Patrick King's book how to Extract Info, Secrets and Truth, let's take a look at the importance of eye contact and then spend some time discussing active listening. 00:03:34 Effects of Eye Contact and Social Status on the Perception of a...

Hear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu • People-pleasing behavior can stem from a harsh inner critic, who is the one telling us that we are not worth anything unless we serve others, or that we do not deserve to have our needs met or boundaries respected. • We can push against our inner critic by becoming aware of its voice and honestly answering some questions, such as: is the choice I’m making ultimatel...

Easily listen to Social Skills Coaching in your podcast app of choice at https://bit.ly/social-skills-home https://adbl.co/3shIydQ 00:01:33 What to Say, What Not to Say 00:03:34 Avoid Diminishing 00:05:00 Avoid Dismissing 00:06:14 Avoid Leading Questions 00:07:11 Avoid Advice or Personal Anecdotes 00:09:31 Acknowledge Their Courage 00:09:56 Ask Empathic Questions 00:10:48 Compliment Their Characte...

00:05:40 Posture and Body Orientation 00:09:33 Eye Contact 00:10:54 A study led by Dr. Arthur Aron 00:11:53 The Power of Eye Contact by psychologist Michael Ellsberg 00:13:03 Kara Ronin’s “triangle technique” 00:13:41 Paralinguistics 00:15:08 The Four Ps of Voice 00:17:37 How to Improve Your Vocal Variety • When reading someone’s body language, pay attention to microexpressions, their overall post...

https://www.audible.com/pd/B094NZS81Q/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWU-BK-ACX0-258377&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_258377_pd_us 00:02:54 “Stimulus Generalization as A Mechanism for Learning to Trust” by Oriel Feldman Hall 00:03:23 “Trust in Close Relationships” by Rempel, Holmes, and Zanna 00:03:56 More Is Better 00:08:59 “Attitudinal Effects of Mere Exposure,” researcher Robert Zajonc 00:09:43 Credibili...

Hear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu 00:03:25 Feelings Are Never Right or Wrong 00:05:26 People Are Responsible for Their Own Feelings 00:07:30 Understand What the Goal of Communication Is 00:09:18 Applying Self-Knowledge and Asking for What You Want • Assertive communication is not about force or coercion (aggressive) or pandering and submission (passive-aggressive) but about speaking confidently from...

00:03:07 Can I just observe without judgment or evaluation? 00:07:41 Brian Grazer is the author of the bestseller A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life. 00:10:39 Type 1: Diversive Curiosity This refers to being attracted to novelty. 00:11:03 Type 2: Epistemic Curiosity Epistemology is the philosophical branch of inquiry related to the theory of knowledge itself. 00:11:51 Type 3: Empathic Cur...

Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag 00:01:58 Mirroring and Matching 00:03:03 In the 1970s, Richard Bandler and John Grinder introduced NLP 00:05:24 Way 1: Match and Mirror External Communication Cues 00:07:31 Way 2: Match and Mirror Voice and Language 00:12:16 Way 3: Match and Mirror Internal Communication Cues 00:16:56 Way 4: Match on Content 00:18:38 Way 5: Chunking • Good conversation is firs...

Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/ExtractInfo 00:04:28 Elicitation Practice If none of the above work, that’s where the practice of elicitation comes in. 00:08:15 Ellen Naylor in her 2016 book Win/Loss Analysis wrote about six specific elicitation techniques to get people talking. 00:08:27 Recognition Practice Human beings are social animals. 00:10:56 Complaining Technique This technique works with so...

Hear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu 00:01:27 In 2019, Matthew Berry and Steven Brown did research on the vocal tones 00:06:14 Jo Emerson is a confidence coach 00:07:10 Watch Your Body Language 00:08:33 Maintain Comfortable Eye Contact 00:09:26 Dress the Part 00:10:38 Develop Your Personal Sense of Poise • Assertiveness is something you can fake till you make! Be mindful of your body language (stand tal...

Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3shIydQ 00:03:35 Psychologist Dr. Ann Vertel uses reflective listening in her practice 00:04:35 How to Master Reflective Listening 00:13:48 Psychologizing—A Peculiar Kind of Invalidation • When we listen empathically and reflect, we go quiet and still within ourselves so we can receive as accurate a picture of the other person’s account as possible. We use mirroring...

Hear it Here - https://bit.ly/3GAwNag 00:03:29 “But I thought you meant X!” 00:07:00 Preconceived Attitudes. 00:12:34 Judgment and Premature Evaluation. 00:15:11 Other Bad Communication Habits to Avoid. 00:17:12 Constantly Interrupting. 00:19:10 Using Qualifiers. 00:20:22 Equating Your Experiences. 00:20:27 “I know exactly how you feel!" 00:22:24 Waiting Instead of Listening. 00:23:14 Fluff and Fi...

Hear it Here - https://www.audible.com/pd/B094NZS81Q/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWU-BK-ACX0-258377&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_258377_pd_us Asking questions is an active way to deliberately elicit information from a person, but they need to be targeted and not too obvious. A few seemingly casual hypothetical questions can reveal a person’s deeper values, perspectives, and goals, for example asking wha...

Hear it Here - adbl.co/3To6NDu • Everyone has a right to have boundaries. Try to reframe how you think of boundaries—they are there to protect and prioritize what’s important, and not shut someone out or offend them. Trust your own feelings and judgments instead of avoiding them. • State your boundary and don’t overexplain or ask permission. Then, if a boundary is violated, follow up with appropri...

• The best mindset to adopt in order to become a better communicator is the one that will best allow you to connect, meet your needs, solve problems, and express yourself. • Begin by asking yourself what your default communication style is: aggressive, passive-aggressive, or manipulative. None of these styles actually achieves the ultimate goal of communication, however. • The way you communicate...

• Body language signals cannot be interpreted in isolation. Rather, first seek a baseline of behavior to help interpret a particular new observation – a baseline helps you identify incongruent behavior and spot a deception. • Look for mirroring, pay attention to overall energy, and remember that body language is dynamic, so you need to gather as much data as possible. Then consider this data in co...

• Use mirroring, paraphrasing, or reflecting to show active listening. • Body language can be empathic too, and when your body mirrors another person’s, this is a way to show physical “active listening” of the body. • To show that your body is listening, face the person, make comfortable eye contact, and seek to concur with “yeses” or head nods. Then mirror their words, voice, posture, or other id...

One of the most useful tools in the people-pleaser’s survival kit is the ability to say NO. There are at least six different kinds of no to learn and practice: the direct no, the reasoned no, the reflecting no, the rain check no, the enquiring no, and the broken record no. Each can be used in different circumstances, according to the boundary you need to set. Whichever form you use, you’ll need to...

• Ex-FBI agent Joe Navarro has some tips for reading body language, and they come from an understanding that body language is inbuilt, automatic and ancient, and based on fight, flight or freeze response in humans. For examples, “pacifying behaviors” like covering the neck can indicate the person is trying to manage stress. • Note how the body is occupying space, and whether it is generally closed...

• To listen effectively and empathically, we need to let our egos take a back seat so the other person can lead. If we are sensitive, alert, and respectful, we can listen without an agenda. • Listen with maximum attention without getting distracted by anything other than the perspective being shared with you in that very moment. • Seek to understand, not to judge, appraise, or evaluate—in fact, yo...

• People-pleasers can be conflict avoidant, but this is actually a high-risk strategy, and you may gather resentments only to explode later (“gunnysacking”). Instead, use “and” instead of “but” in conversations, or try the “Five Whys” technique to get to the heart of what you’re really avoiding. Show notes and/or episode transcripts are available at https://bit.ly/social-skills-shownotes Learn mor...

• It’s possible to extract loads of useful information from people merely by using the power of observation. • First, observe the face, tiny, quick and involuntary movements of the face can “leak” a person’s true emotions – there are six universal ones: anger, fear, surprise, disgust, happiness. Look for microexpressions that contradict what is said verbally. #Ekman #Macroexpressions #Microexpress...

• Your perspective on life is what makes you unique, but it can also be a source of isolation, misunderstanding, and conflict. • A pre-conceived notion about who another person is may be the single biggest obstacle on the path to genuine empathy for them. Getting rid of bias is about more than guarding against sexism or racism and more about consciously choosing to remember that all people are uni...

In the face of trauma and conflict, some people respond with anger, some respond by fleeing . . . and some, like Person A, respond with a flood of appeasing, soothing, and conciliatory behavior. “Fight or flight” is an option for some people, but for those with a history of trauma, another option when faced with threat is to go into fawning mode and try to make it all better. Picture an animal def...