Sober Powered: The Neuroscience of Being Sober

When I first quit drinking I was very nervous about how people would respond to me. I worried about what to say to them. In this episode I will give you my advice for answering this question, both what I recommend doing and what I recommend not doing. I will also share 5 examples of when people gave me a hard time about not drinking and how I navigated it. Thank you Jamie for submitting this quest...

Fatigue and brain fog are two of the more unexpected symptoms you may experience in early sobriety and they can drag on for a bit. In this episode you’ll learn why you may be exhausted when you quit drinking and why you have trouble focusing. Just like with extra anxiety in early sobriety, fatigue and brain fog can increase the risk of relapse too, so understanding why this is going on is the firs...

I’ve realized over time we forget parts of the struggle. In interacting with my community I get reminded of the things I went through in my first few weeks and months. I know a lot of people look for sober tips, so I asked the members of my Living a Sober Powered Life community to share their favorite tips with you. I’ve collected 55 tips all from regular people just like you in various stages of...

One of the most common issues I see with people is that they lose their motivation to stay sober and keep going back and forth getting a few days or a couple weeks in and then drinking again. We search for inspirational quotes on Instagram and wonder why everyone else can figure it out and not us. Your lack of motivation to stay sober is not because you’re a loser, like with everything I say it’s...

Work is a major trigger to drink and it has been one of my biggest struggles in my adult life (aka my stupid belief). In this episode I explain my career struggles from when I was a teacher to working in biotech, and why I decided to quit biotech. You'll learn where my stupid belief started, my journey with not getting a PhD, and how I achieved my biggest life time dream this year. I started worki...

The back and forth cycle is frustrating and depressing and it can feel like you’re never going to figure it out. It also really hurts our self-esteem, which makes it even harder to not drink. This topic came up in one of my meetings this week and I want to share why it’s important to keep trying. In this episode, I am covering 3 things that may be keeping you stuck in the back and forth struggle a...

If you’ve quit drinking for any amount of time then you may have experienced a drinking dream, which is a dream where you relapse and drink alcohol. They seem really real and can be upsetting. It’s normal to feel panicked when you wake up because it takes a moment to realize it was just a dream. I had a drinking dream recently, at 3 and a half years sober, so I thought this was a perfect time to d...

If this is your first summer without alcohol, then you might be really nervous because warm weather makes you want to sit outside and drink, there are extra parties, and vacation time usually means drinking too. In this episode I’ll cover 5 different challenges that the summer brings to sobriety and how you can navigate them. What to listen to next: E143: how to stay accountable in your sobriety E...

People with anxiety or depression are much more likely to experience negative consequences from their drinking, even when they drink exactly the same amount as people without anxiety or depression. It’s not the quantity or frequency, it’s brain differences and self-medication. In this episode I discuss a new study that came out a few weeks ago on this topic, the concept of telescoping and how ment...

There are a lot of different ways to quit drinking and what works for 1 person won’t necessarily work for everyone. I think everyone has tried things that haven’t worked, so in this episode I’m going through some of my experiences. You’ll learn why these methods didn’t work for me and hopefully this will help you make some decisions about the ways you are trying to quit. If you've been trying to q...

One of the reasons emotions can be so overwhelming is because we don't have coping skills to deal with them, so we run right for alcohol every time we feel discomfort. Workshops are a new part of my Living a Sober Powered Life community, and here is a sneak peak at our workshop on coping skills. In this workshop I explained why stress accumulates and taught about 5 coping skills to try. My members...

I used to spend so many mornings Googling, “how can I moderate my drinking?” I thought if I could just figure out the right strategy, then I’d be able to control my drinking. What I didn’t realize was that I spent nearly all of my time drinking or thinking about my drinking, which meant that my drinking was already controlling me. To celebrate this milestone episode of releasing 150 episodes of th...

Alcohol can cause your nervous system to become dysregulated, which puts you in a state of constant stress. Then we feel compelled to drink to cope with the stress. In this episode you will learn all about the nervous system and how it’s impacted by your drinking. You’ll learn how alcohol throws off the balance between the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems, the effects of binge drink...

When I was drinking I was very dramatic and immature. I was a toxic person who blamed everyone else for my problems. One of the hardest realizations in sobriety was coming to the understanding that I contributed to my own problems, and maybe even caused some of them. I’ve learned a lot of skills over the past almost 3 and a half years and here are the top 5 that I believe have made the difference...

We spend a lot of time avoiding our emotions to try to reduce the amount of pain and discomfort we feel, but you can’t numb the bad without numbing the good too. Trying to avoid pain closes us off to the amount of joy and love we can feel too. In this episode, I explain 3 ways you can start embracing your emotions and why it's important to stop numbing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit mega...

Have you ever gone through something so hard that you didn’t know how you were going to make it out the other side? Often, we use alcohol to numb the pain and make it a little bit more tolerable. If you’re sober though, you don’t have that option anymore. I’m going through something very painful right now and it has given me an appreciation for anyone who’s had intense emotional pain and coped wit...

People tell me all the time, “I just can’t accept that I have a disease”. We hear that addiction is a disease of the brain, but not everyone wants to accept that they have a disease. In this episode you’ll learn about the disease model, the choice model, and some newer models of addiction. I’ll explain what these models say, where they came from, and at the end of the episode I’ll share my opinion...

There are a lot of people in the sober community getting adult ADHD diagnoses, so what’s going on here? There is a strong link between struggling with ADHD and developing a problem with alcohol because just like with anxiety, trauma, or depression, alcohol can be used to self-medicate the symptoms of ADHD. In this episode you’ll learn why alcohol and ADHD are linked, what is going on in the brain’...

Self-sabotage is a common experience for many people who struggle with alcohol. Despite our best efforts to quit drinking, we find ourselves continuing to drink anyway. Sometimes you may even drink without understanding why. It can be frustrating and disheartening, but understanding the root causes of self-sabotage can help us break free from this destructive cycle. In this episode we’ll cover sel...

I was recently talking to someone and they mentioned all the opportunities there are in my life for relapse- for example, the podcasting conferences I go to and how I work for myself alone in my house. The thing is, although I have a lot of opportunities to drink, I don’t, and I believe there are 2 main reasons why. I have accepted that I can never drink ever again and I have built up a lot of bar...

Hiding your addiction is a full time job. It requires a lot of mental energy to keep up appearances and seem like nothing is wrong. Laura Cathcart Robbins was in a high profile marriage. She wanted this amazing life, but once she got there she realized it wasn’t the life she wanted. The pressure continued to build once Laura became the first Black PA President for her children’s school since 1972....

You can’t shame yourself sober, and you can’t punish yourself into change, but similarly, we need to recognize our patterns and be willing to tell the truth. I am so excited to welcome Laura McKowen, author of the new book Push Off From Here, to the podcast. Laura and I get into this idea of a blame story and what personal responsibility really means. In this episode we discuss the chaos we live i...

It’s very triggering if you’ve stopped drinking, but aren’t feeling better. You may observe others on their pink clouds and think you’re the only one feeling this way. It takes time for the body to heal and that’s why I invited on Dr. Brooke Scheller to talk to us about how our nutrition impacts our cravings for alcohol and the way we feel. In this episode you’ll learn what to do if you stopped dr...

If you’re going back and forth between drinking and not drinking, then you are not alone. It’s a journey from the time someone considers not drinking to the time they actually stop drinking for good. Even though this back and forth process is pretty typical, it’s really frustrating when you feel like you just want to be sober but you keep drinking. In this episode I’m describing 5 reasons why you...

One of the most empowering things I’ve learned in my research is that not everyone experiences alcohol in the same way. When I got sober, I started talking to my husband more about his experience and I started interacting with people in the sober community who shared my experience with alcohol. Over time, I realized how different my husband and I were. In this episode I want to talk about 5 ways w...