Sober Powered: The Neuroscience of Being Sober

A rock bottom moment isn’t required to get sober, although it obviously helps. We have no control over what will be our rock bottom, and often we stack consequences for a long time before enough is finally enough. In this episode I discuss what to do if you haven’t had a rock bottom yet. You’ll learn about 3 key things I’ve noticed that dabblers do that prevent them from getting sober for good, an...

Quitting drinking doesn’t automatically change how you think, it just removes the numbing. For many of us, that means we’re left with a mind that defaults to worst-case scenarios, criticism, and hopelessness. Sobriety gives you a chance to rewire negative thought patterns, but only if you’re aware of them and actively work to change them. In this episode I discuss the shift from defaulting to nega...

In sobriety our brains are still stuck in survival mode. We zoom in on small problems, assume they’re huge, and feel overwhelmed by everyday stressors. Minor stressors make our lives grind to a halt. But with time, our thinking shifts and we learn the skills we need to zoom out. In this episode, I’ll explain where this tunnel vision comes from, what it looks like while you’re working on this, and...

Learning to manage emotions is one of the most difficult parts of sobriety. Many people don’t think they were drinking to cope, only to find out once they try to quit that they were. When I was drinking and in the first couple of years of sobriety, I used to make things more difficult for myself because I couldn’t manage emotions. I would ruminate, avoid, or escape with other self-destructive thin...

When we think about getting sober, most of the focus is on not drinking, but we don’t think about what to start doing to actually rewire the brain and move forward. In this episode, I’ll explain why white-knuckling doesn’t work. You’ll learn about why willpower is not the most important factor for staying sober, how being “strong” prevents us from getting support, and what you can do differently t...

Join me for a special Q&A episode. We talk about my story, my work, my gaming history, book writing, what I've noticed in the sober community, and more! Thanks to everyone who submitted questions Work with me: Community & Meetings: Living a Sober Powered Life https://www.soberpowered.com/membership Sober coaching https://www.soberpowered.com/sober-coaching  Weekly email: You’ll hear from me on Fri...

On June 25, 2020 I decided to start this podcast. You’ll learn the story of how this podcast started, how it’s changed my sobriety, how it’s changed me professionally, how it’s helped me do my own “work”, and some of the hurtful things people have said to me over the years. I want to share about the shifts I’ve had to make to sustain being a public person. These are, addressing my addiction to wor...

Besides not drinking, one of the simplest ways to heal the damage left behind from your drinking days is to exercise consistently. In this episode, I’ll explain how exercise helps to heal the body and brain, specific types of exercise that are beneficial, and how exercise can increase the likelihood that you’ll resist cravings and stay sober. You’ll learn 5 ways to get started if making exercise a...

When we quit drinking, it’s pretty common to pick up another crutch or transfer the addiction to something else like food, work, cannabis, shopping, etc. Your brain still wants comfort, relief, stimulation, and escape and it’s easy to use other methods of relief instead of doing the emotional work and not needing relief. In this episode, I discuss the desire to replace alcohol with something else,...

Learning to put effort into our lives, be patient, and not rely on instant gratification is challenging. Alcohol teaches us that we can have what we want immediately and with no effort. Real life doesn’t work that way. In this episode, I explain alcohol myopia, which is how alcohol narrows our focus and prevents us from accurately thinking about the future. You’ll learn about how your brain is wir...

Maybe your drinking isn’t/wasn’t that bad, but does that mean it’s good? If you don’t truly face what you’re doing, then how can you expect to change and move forward? In this episode, we dig into the psychological tricks we use to protect ourselves from the truth about our drinking- minimizing, rationalizing, and rewriting the past. I explain how cognitive dissonance, memory decay, and emotional...

When the sun comes out, so do the memories of “fun” drinking days, but are those memories even accurate? In this episode, I break down how your brain edits the past to make alcohol look better than it really was. I’ll explain how dopamine, emotional memory, and the fading affect bias distort your perception of your drinking life, and why the “good times” are often more fantasy than fact. You’ll le...

Are these harmless thoughts or do they lead to relapse? In this episode you’ll learn what is going on in your brain when you romanticize alcohol, how this can make being sober more challenging, and 3 ways to break the romanticizing loop. I’ll share a story from 4 years ago about when I romanticized alcohol, how I used tools, and what that same situation would look like today. What to listen to nex...

When we start doing “the work”, it’s normal for your behavior to swing hard in the other direction. Emotions become more intense, old memories flood back, or you may feel like everyone needs to know how they’ve wronged you. This is the pendulum effect. We are learning how to do life without alcohol, and that process takes experimentation. In this episode, I explain why the pendulum effect happens,...

We’re used to intrusive thoughts about drinking while we’re trying to quit and in the early days, but these thoughts can continue to pop up months or even years later. Does this mean you’re on the path to relapse? In this episode I’ll explain where intrusive thoughts about drinking come from and 3 strategies to deal with them. You’ll learn the 4 most common times when someone thinks about drinking...

I thought getting sober was the end of the story. I did it, I succeeded, now life will be amazing forever. But the parade never came. Instead, I started to get uncomfortable and notice patterns in my behavior that I didn’t like, and without alcohol around, I couldn’t unsee it. This is where a lot of people fall off. Their work begins to show up, it gets uncomfortable, and instead of facing it they...

Many people experience a noticeable shift in mental clarity around 60 days sober. When it happened to me I felt like I was waking up from a long dream and I could finally use my brain again. This may feel like being present, having patience, better focus and attention, improved memory, and reduced mental clutter. In this episode, I’ll explain how alcohol causes cognitive impairments, why we have m...

Alcohol damages every area of the body, but in this episode we are focusing on the heart. I’ll explain 3 ways that alcohol damages the heart, how the heart heals after we get sober, and 5 things you can do to have good heart health moving forward. What to listen to next: E232: The 3am Wake Up E266: Can You Drink After Taking a Break? E268: Is Moderate Drinking Healthier? Here’s Why So Many Studies...

Your brain is wired for quick hits of dopamine, or high-reward, low-effort habits that feel good in the moment but sabotage your long-term goals. Over time, this conditions your brain to expect rewards without effort, making real change feel harder than it actually is. In this episode, I’ll explain how these patterns destroy motivation, fuel inconsistent effort, and keep you stuck in the cycle of...

We believe alcohol is required for vacations, unwinding, dealing with stress, celebrating, and socializing. We have built up powerful associations in our brains to reinforce these beliefs through dopamine and repetition. After you get sober, facing life without alcohol can feel impossible. Everything reminds you of alcohol. You start to notice how prevalent it is on TV and in movies. In this episo...

When we develop a problem with alcohol, it becomes the center of our lives and most or all decisions are made after taking alcohol into consideration. When you remove alcohol, there’s a big empty hole in your life. You can fill this hole with other substances, sex or relationships, gambling or shopping, sitting around sad, or you can make some changes in your life. I’ve slowly made changes over th...

“I function just fine, it’s not like I’m missing work”, I said until I started missing work. “I have a masters degree, I couldn’t have gotten this far if I was an alcoholic.” Have you ever thought things like this to yourself? Most drinkers are able to function. Most will never reach the stereotypical alcoholic that we think of. High functioning doesn’t mean not a problem, and in this episode we’l...

You probably expect that the more sober time you have, the less you crave alcohol. That’s true for some people, but others experience an effect called incubation of craving. This is where cravings build up over time and peak around 60 days, then again around 6 months sober. In this episode, I’ll explain the research on incubation of craving, what you might experience, why this happens, and what yo...

Regular drinking and early sobriety often feel like living on autopilot, where we are repeating the same routines without conscious awareness. Alcohol changes the brain to increase mindless activity, which can lead to rumination, excessive self-focus, anxiety, and addiction-related thought loops. In this episode, you’ll learn about how alcohol affects the brain and puts us on autopilot, how this k...

Making new friends as an adult is difficult enough, but when you're sober, it adds an extra layer of difficulty. In this episode, we're talking about how to find friends in sobriety with a focus on what's the block from putting yourself out there, what do we have control over, how much armor do we have up, a fear of rejection, and how we can start attracting the right people in our direction. My g...