Sober Friends

Send us Fan Mail One of the biggest turn offs for people considering a 12 step group or even those already in, is the topic of God, religion and spirituality.  But what exactly is spirituality and why does it go hand in hand with self knowledge of alcoholism? Both Matt and Steve have some challenges with the view of the religious higher power.  This topic was brought up by a friend in the rooms, w...

Send us Fan Mail What is the end goal of recovery?  Is it to die sober? Our friend Scott L recently passed after a fight with lung cancer.  Scott died sober with 5 years of recovery.  It did not come easy for Scott but when he got it, he got it. Steve and I talk about what dying sober means, is it the end goal and how recovery folks feel when we see an obit that says, "They died sober."...

Send us Fan Mail We are so fortunate to have Ash Butterss, host of the podcast, Behind the Smile.    Ash has been sober since February 2020 and has a family history of alcoholism.  For Ash, recovering out loud is a core value.  She doesn’t want those in recovery living in the shadows, she wants those who are considering putting down the bottle to see that not only is recovery possible, but that yo...

Send us Fan Mail We talk about loss and emotions in this week's episode of the Sober Friends Podcast.  Each week, my two girls go to a farm where they clean stables, wash and care for horses and then learn the different aspects of riding. Their favorite horse was Holden, a 29 year old horse was very gentle and the logo for the farm.  My daughter Annelyse has significant anxiety and Holden mad...

Send us Fan Mail It feels like we are weak when we ask for help but it's the opposite.  When you ask someone else for help, it's a sign of strength.  In sobriety, it's so important to have a network of people you can lean on.    That phone you have to call out on?  10,000 points and 8 foot buttons.  We talk through on this podcast about how asking for help is so important in sobriet...

Send us Fan Mail (Sigh)  I'm feeling some work stress.  Things in the day job have changed dramtically.  We've been undergoing pretty significant change since COVID hit.  Reorgs, process changes, new product releases and so much more.  Our company values the ability to embrace change and pivot and it's a strength of mine.  There also comes a time when there is so much change to so m...

Send us Fan Mail “Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.”  This is one of the most important traditions guiding Alcoholics Anonymous.  So important, it's the other “A” in “AA.”  The idea of anonymity is that the member and fellowship is protected.  There has been stigma for decades with alcoholism, that it'...

Send us Fan Mail Those of us with alcohol use disorder can shift from one addiction to another.  We are very obsessive. Gardening Eating Sex Work So many other things to ease our emotions.  It becomes a problem when it takes you away from your family, impacts finances and health. Steven and Matt talk a bit of their experience with those addictions that pop up that replace the drink. Support the sh...

Send us Fan Mail I was not prepared for how my family would react to the work I had to do to stay sober.  Specifically, going to meetings.  Going to a lot of meetings.  At one point, my wife asked me, "When do you stop going to those meetings?"  How do I tell my wife I don't ever stop, just like I don't ever stop being an alcoholic. Steve and I talk about our challenges with ge...

Send us Fan Mail Matt and Steve have done a lot of learning about the construction of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous from reaching "Writing the Big Book," by Bill Schaberg.  In today's language, the chapter, "To Wives," is troublesome.  In the context of 1938, it reflected the times. Men were alcoholics Alcoholics were white, Christian men Women supported the man in...

Send us Fan Mail At three months sober, Matt's wife asked, "So how long are you going to keep going to these meetings?" "Uh-Oh." There is no cure for alcoholism.  There is only a daily reprieve.  We need to find ways to continually treat our illness.  For people like Steve and Matt, that's 12 step meetings.  For you, it might be something else as no one has a monopoly...

Send us Fan Mail Bill Schaberg has arguably written the definitive history of how the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous was written.  Bill produced “Writing The Big Book,”  and his wife calls it, “the other big book,” because it’s 650 pages, before the appendixes. Bill completed the book after 7 years of research from the source material.  Bill is a rare book collector and seller and it all started...

Send us Fan Mail Bill Schaberg has arguably written the definitive history of how the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous was written.  Bill produced “Writing The Big Book,”  and his wife calls it, “the other big book,” because it’s 650 pages, before the appendixes. Bill completed the book after 7 years of research from the source material.  Bill is a rare book collector and seller and it all started...

Send us Fan Mail "WHY DOES THAT PERSON ALWAYS DO THAT TO ME?  DON'T THEY KNOW IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY?" I heard a wise old-timer at a meeting recently say, "I brought out the defects of character in others." I never thought of that!  Maybe my rotten behavior brought out the worst in the other person, whose bad behavior now gave me a resentment. Steve and Matt talk about other...

Send us Fan Mail Ugh!  You need to stop drinking!  How do you handle going to meetings or whatever your sobriety method is and handle the responsibilities of being a parent and partner? This week, we got you covered!  Matt and Steve both had to deal with this issue when they got sober.  We tell our experiences and how to balance family and recovery. Support the show 📫 Get more honest conversation...

Send us Fan Mail Joe Kelley had everything going for him.  He was a high school football star.  Joe’s family were all first responders - His father a firefighter an uncles in the police department.  Eventually, Joe followed in their footsteps to join law enforcement.  Joe described his job as a police officer as strenuous and as someone who had been physically fit all his life, loved it.   Joe Kel...

Send us Fan Mail Peter L is one of the many people in recovery to get sober during the pandemic and have is first experience with a 12 step group be over Zoom.  Podcasts like Sober Friends and Recovered Cast helped enhance his sobriety, during a time when getting together in person was not happening. Peter L’s sobriety date is December 3, 2020.  Peter was the kind of guy who thought he could drink...

Send us Fan Mail Joe and Charlie were actually three men who travelled the country providing Big Book Seminars. Joe McQ Charlie P Joe McC Joe and Charlie were big book enthusiasts who studied the book Alcoholics Anonymous.  They were fascinated with how the book was constructed and went on to give seminars on the meaning behind the book. Though Joe, Charlie and Joe have all passed, their work live...

Send us Fan Mail Jean McCarthy is the host of the podcasts, The Bubble Hour and Tiny Bubbles.  Jean is also the author of Take Good Care, The Ember Ever There and the Unpickled series of recovery books. Jean was terrified to walk into an AA meeting when she got sober.  It was an epiphany for Jean to quit drinking when she was ahead, instead of waiting until she lost it all.   She was active and vi...

Send us Fan Mail The podcast audience comes and goes over the course of a show.  As we move past 100 episodes, you may not have looked at the back catalogue we have put together.  This is a great opportunity to look back to the past at some of our favorite shows.   My wife brought Tyler to my attention.  She grew up with Tyler and knew his story.  This show had an incredibly positive reaction when...

Send us Fan Mail Andrea from the Adult Child Podcast joins the show this week.  Andrea is honest, vulnerable and in your face and this is a raw conversation about alcoholism and the trauma received of being an adult child of alcoholics. Matt and Andrea are both sober and both children of alcoholics.  In this show, Andrea discusses: Their path to getting sober at 18 Getting to 7 years of sobriety a...

Send us Fan Mail Our guest this week is Gregg Champion who just celebrated 28 years sober.  Gregg has a fascinating story you will easily find a way to relate.  Gregg believes he was an alcoholic at 4 years old, when his father died in a car accident.  Alcoholism was in his family and he coped with fantasy, girls, and giving in to his anger. When he was a teen, alcohol and drugs came into the pict...

Send us Fan Mail We are into our third year!  To kick it off, we invited Pete B back to talk about the history of Narcotics Anonymous.  If you know about 12 step groups, I bet you know a lot of Alcoholics Anonymous, but what do you know about NA?  Well, we knew next to nothing.  Pete B was involved with writing the original text of NA back in the early 1980s.  Who better to talk about how NA start...

Send us Fan Mail Thank you for supporting the Sober Friends Podcast for 100 Episodes!  We started this in November 2020 as a way of spreading the message of hope that recovery is possible, when outside meetings were still very hard to find, in person.  We will continue to spread the message that sobriety is possible, no matter your path to get there. For our 100th episode, Matt J takes this one so...

Send us Fan Mail What does it mean when we hear people say, "Don't Stop Before The Miracle Happens?"  It means toughing it out during the hard times, now matter how long it takes.  Because if you do the work long enough, you will be able to handle life on life's terms, without taking a drink. On this episode, Matt, Steve and John talk about their own experiences with the impati...