So Very Wrong About Games

The dam has burst, and the flow of large player-count games rushes without signs of abating. We are willing to be sufficiently foolhardy to gather in larger groups, so the demand for 6+ player games has skyrocketed; and with it, the chance to return to old favourites. Dare we call it... a party? Games Played Last Week:02:22 -Guards of Atlantis II (Artyom Nichipurov, Wolff Designa, 2022)07:46 -Thor...

Walker yearns for a universal grammar, a sort of iconograhic Esperanto. That is a bridge too far for Mark, but they nonetheless find common ground on certain time terms and certain graphical conventions. They may be alone, of course, but they would rather that everyone deferred to their intuitions.01:17 AYURIS: The Castles of Tuscany (Stefan Feld, alea, 2020)Games Played Last Week:03:17 -Unsettled...

After a purgatorial thirteen months, Mark will be released from his Cain-like wanderings and allowed to repatriate to Kingston where he will get to be home. He figures that if Immanuel Kant got to be world famous before the age of global communications without leaving a 50 kilometer radius of his hometown, he has more than paid his dues. If anyone wants him to attend a function in the future, they...

Multi-Deck System Games! Canadian content! Kevin Bacon! So many digressions in an episode packed with so much culture it couldn't even fit in one of Vin Diesel's muscle shirts. We do, however, focus on games long enough to rhetorically ask--with several stress patterns--of David Thompson: who is this guy? As a note, during the time of the taping of this episode, David Thompson released five more e...

On Mark's drive across Canada (the first time), he stopped in Drumheller, Alberta for some dinosaur tourism. It has a truly impressive nodosaur specimen. The nodosaur is a close relative of the ankylosaur, a key difference being the former's lack of a thagomizer, the club-like appendage at the end of an ankylosaur's tail. Mark bought a plastic ankylosaur as a souvenir. Its name is Angie. Persevera...

We received a number of questions of a more personal nature which we have decided not to address. This is only partially out of a sense of privacy. Rather, we are firmly of the editorial position that the show is best when we focus on games, rather than the personal details of the hosts. We pride ourselves in only wasting a certain amount of your valuable time, and were we to indulge in more perso...

Inquiring minds demand to know, and we, your humble servants, must perforce answer. Mark resists the urge to elaborate on Kant and Macross! Walker resists the siren call of nineties hip hop! Such feats of iron will are the least of what our curious and/or trolling listeners deserve.(It's the curious trolls that always get you in the end)01:21 AYURIS: Babylonia (Reiner Knizia, Ludonova, 2019)Games...

I wanna be where the patients areI wanna see, wanna see 'em coughin'Buildin' your wings, you don't get too farClients are required for billing, chargingUp where they sneeze, up where they shudderUp where they stay all day just to sufferTreatin' for a fee, wish I could bePart of that world01:37 AYURIS: Cosmic Frog (Jim Felli, Devious Weasel Games, 2020)Games Played Last Week:04:10 -Wonderland's War...

Preparation is important. We very carefully do our advance research here at SVWAG, but occasionally mild errors do creep in. For this week, Mark studiously crafted notes and observations on such issues as four octave vocal ranges, Nickelodeon celebrity culture, and whether boredom of a third party constitutes necessary or sufficient conditions for breaking up with one's girlfriend. Sadly for Mark,...

A tragedy of consuming media or goods is that sometimes, regardless of how diligent you are, you cannot keep up with new releases. The creators you love might keep putting out new products, and even a casual enthusiast of a given medium might be disappointed to learn that they missed out on an offering. What I'm trying to get at is that HOW DARE they make a new Macross tabletop game and NOT TELL M...

Yes, we are but slaves to the new releases, which is why we are reviewing a fifteen-year-old game. "But that's impossible!" you reply, "No one was alive back then!" Records are scant, but there is a rich oral tradition that people have been playing games at least since the release of Nirvana's Nevermind. Archeologists are still trying to carbon-date that period exactly, though. Games Played Last W...

Kids in the Hall reviewing Great Western Trail:"What's the point of what we do?""Sorry, I don't follow you.""Well, I mean, we travel 250,000 light years across the universe, abduct cows, probe them, and release them.""Yeah, and?""Well, doesn't it seem kind of pointless?""I don't think I should question the leadership of our Great Leader.""Oh, come on. We've been coming here for fifty years and per...

Let us not, as the saying goes, hold the perfect in opposition to the good. We here at SVWAG always encourage the lowering of standards, which the hosts tend to do by their very presences--dragging down the average of any group of which they are a part. We offer but a portion of an episode, but let us be optimists and observe that that allows us to be less wrong.01:34 AYURIS: Versailles 1919 (Geof...

The range of new features our merch line has opened up is endless. Who wore it better?, SVWAG Hypebeast, Project Runway SVWAG, Making the Cut SVWAG, the possibilities abound! Get me Tim Gunn on the line, I'm sure he's heard of us. I'm sure we'll see His Grace, Professor Doktor Doktor Vincent, Duke of Diesel, esq. O.B.E. in a t-shirt two sizes too small before long. 01:07 AYURIS: Imperial Struggle...

Much art is discussed this week, from French Romantics, to pirate stuff, to conspiracist vision boards, to whatever Walker is doing when he uses clothespins on felt. Mark wonders whether he can justify leaving in dead air and calling it "bold use of negative space," but the deeper worry is that too many people would prefer the silence. Games Played Last Week:01:14 -Ark Nova (Mathias Wigge, Feuerla...

We're always on the lookout for new potential taglines here at SVWAG, as our earlier efforts "that one where the guy talks to that dude" and "we shout into a can so you don't have to" have been deemed insufficient. "We like it hard" was put forth by Walker, but the editorial staff are afraid it is apt to be misconstrued. "We weaponize children" was rejected for the opposite reason, namely that it...

We are Canadian, and thus must perforce apologize for those we may have slandered, misquoted, or used their name in vain: Warmboy, Alan Turing, Dewey, Peggy Lee, Dick Pound, Bruno Faidutti, and His Grace, Professor Doktor Doktor Vincent, Duke of Diesel, esq. O.B.E. We are honoured to have inadvertently tarnished the reputations of such grandees. Games Played Last Week:00:52 -The Quest for El Dorad...

It is a strange thing for one's hobby to be utterly infused with a nominally competitive structure. I would venture to say that knitters, for instance, devote precious little thought as to whether they can knit more or less well than their fellow crafters. Perhaps it is different for scrapbookers, I don't know, they seem like a ruthless lot.01:16 AYURIS: Aristeia! (Alberto Abal, Jesús Fuster, & Da...

The So Very Wrong About Games line of Action Princess Dolls (TM) are coming to a store near you! Thrill to all your favourite characters, like Huey, Dewey, and Louis, each with weird monochromatic accessories and some spring-loaded gimmick that'll bruise some kid in Oregon and thus be regulated into weaksauce! Plus, get the Kingston Action Playset. Your parents put it together, batteries not inclu...

No, dear listener, we haven't played that one regional trick-taking game popular in the Adirondacks where the only red card is the 9 of diamonds and you play counter-clockwise and the bid is called in pig latin and you have to wear your socks on your hands. I'm sure it's a blast. We are but tourists in the wide world of taking tricks, and to some extent it can be a hobby unto itself. Contract Brid...

It's a star-studded eleganza extravaganza, featuring your two least-favourite SVWAG hosts giving you an incomplete capsule summary of a terrible year of great games. Of course, they neglected to play That One Game, of course, which means that all their observations are utterly useless, but how does that differentiate this episode from any other? This offering is more classy, however, as in a conce...

In the 14th Century B.C.E., the pharaoh Akhenaten attempted to shift Egypt into monotheism centered on the cult of the god Aten. Apparently there's some who argue it was possibly instead henotheism, whereby many gods are acknowledged but one is elevated above the others--a claim advanced about many ostensibly mono- or polytheistic religions, even some practised today--but at any rate is was except...

Some things, of course, from Josie and the Pussycats have aged poorly. The idea of "record stores" and CDs (that could, in turn sell out like they were PS5s or something) is downright quaint--especially given the format of this show. I'm pretty confident that the cultural moment of Moviefone Guy has well and truly passed, despite the continued use of both movies and phones. Do people still know wh...

The hosts are, briefly, back in the same room again, and this has had the unfortunate effect of bringing out the very worst in Mark. Don't worry, he doesn't spend ten minutes complaining about the implied political claims of kids' shows, but his mind naturally went to the gutter of abominable puns. You have been warned. Games Played Last Week:01:16 -On Mars (Vital Lacerda, Eagle-Gryphon Games, 202...

We skip over substantial portions of our hosts' stories, of course. No mention is made of Walker's extensive experience with Gilbert & Sullivan. Mark's stint as the Official Pokémon Master of Canada is glossed over. The deep tribal conflict of Jocks versus Geeks, of which Walker is destined to be the bridge (think Dune but even more messianic), is only alluded to. Someday, the whole story might be...