So Very Wrong About Games

I mean, maybe, possibly, hopefully, with luck, theoretically, given the right group, hypothetically, in time, conceivably, eventually, if I push hard enough, imaginably, as a favour, I could imagine, someday, perchance, play this again. Weather permitting.01:36 AYURIS: Cerebria: The Inside World (Richard Amann, Viktor Peter, István Pócsi, Frigyes Schőberl, Nick Shaw, & Dávid Turczi, Mindclash Game...

Old conflicts are put to bed, taxonomies are shelved, and instead we take refuge in sweeping declarations. Walker focuses on the ad hominem, trying to dissuade people from game design because they are insufficiently hardcore; Mark focuses on games, declaring that you can't base games on random spat out tiles. Nuance is for the weak, and qualifications are for those lacking character. Mostly. Games...

We take a break from heady issues this week; so we instead touch on what constitutes a trick, what friends are good for, and colonialism. You know, light discussion. 02:35 AYURIS: Core Worlds (Andrew Parks, Stronghold, 2011)Games Played Last Week:04:09 -Fort (Grant Rodiek, Leder Games, 2020)09:15 -Ascension Tactics: Miniatures Deckbuilding Game (Justin Gary & Ryan Sutherland, Stone Blade Entertain...

"Put down your chainsaw and listen to meIt's time for us to join in the fightIt's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboysIt's time to let the bedbugs bite...Talk with your mouth fullBite the hand that feeds youBite on more than you chewWhat can you doDare to be stupid"-"Weird Al" Yankovic, noted Lovecraft scholar, "Dare to Be Stupid"Games Played Last Week:01:07 -Project: ELITE (Konstantinos...

Walker is a force of nature, a pent-up human-shaped mass of pure rage. The only outlet that can sate his furious destructive impulses is the ecstasy of the uninhibited flick--the catharsis of venting all of his power on a disc and then watching it careen around the board (then off the table, off someone's skull, off the floor, under the bookshelf, and then embedded in the drywall). He ten thunders...

“The game which our enemies have laid before us is, in so far as the French dictated it, is a monument of pathological fear and pathological hatred; and in so far as the Anglo-Saxons dictated it, it is the work of a capitalistic policy of the most brutal and cleverest kind.” –A deliberate misquote of Count von Brockdorff-Rantzau reviewing Versailles 1919Games Played Last Week:01:40 -Nippon (Nuno B...

Walker feels he has missed his calling, and tries out his tight five as an insult comic this week. He directs his barbs at the typical targets--Mark, board game covers, games no one asked for, Mark, media he finds unengaging, and Mark. The latter (and former) does his level best at being supportive in the classic tradition of Ed McMahon, but one remembers why Don Rickles and Triumph the Insult Com...

"From the discovery of New France to the 1981 Referendum, all of Quebec history is based on a single fallacy: that the British actually wanted to own Quebec. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. The British already had a surplus of colonies in the sunny Caribbean and took little interest in the Canadian icebox later dismissed by Voltaire as nothing more than 'quelques arpents de neige...

We return, ill-advisedly, to the heavily-mined waters of classification and taxonomy. Mark will put up with it because of his love of Mac Gerdts, and Walker will put up with it because he gets to troll Mark with contrived classifications. 01:10 AYURIS: Gloomhaven (Isaac Childres, Cephalofair Games, 2017)Games Played Last Week:03:24 -Reichbusters: Project Vril (Jake Thornton, Mythic Games, 2020)07:...

Editorial standards are constantly evolving here at SVWAG, and they lately proceed largely from Walker's unilateral declarations. Things get to be pronounced however he wills them. Prior utterances by anyone are rendered immediately obsolete if and when he deigns to acknowledge something. Comparisons are now his exclusive purview. Walker has spoken. Games Played Last Week:01:52 -Hour of Need (Adam...

Change is exactly like a starving polar bear, in that it is a frightening beast that will bite your face off. Despite that, we have changed the format of our episode notes in a startling act of courage. That said, as Robert Browning wrote, "One taste of the old time sets all to rights." It is in that spirit that we began, with the blessing of the Government of Ontario's health guidelines, to actua...

"Please note that there are only two references to sports in this book... and both are appropriately dismissive. If you wish for sports information, might I kindly refer you to every other aspect of our culture?"-John Hodgman, "The Areas of My Expertise"Games Played Last Week:-Commands and Colors: Napoleonics 1m40s (Richard Borg, GMT Games, 2010) -Wingspan 3m08s (Elizabeth Hargrave, Stonemaier Gam...

To be clear, we're not giving or receiving any awards this week--rather we're discussing their use, possible abuse, and impact on the hobby. Were we to deserve an award for this episode, though, clearly it would be for the quality and quantity of top-notch segues. Play style leads to play style, mechanism to mechanism, all flowing as naturally and as smoothly as a natural and smooth thing. Note th...

We sometimes don't understand the appeal of food-based games, friends and neighbours. To be sure, we adore Food Chain Magnate, but that is not parasitic upon our sincere appreciation of (say) lemonade and pizza. There seem to be many games based on enthusiasm for beer, coffee, whiskey, spicy food, wine... Wait, I'm noticing a trend. Is our indifference to alcohol poisoning yet another area of life...

Podcasts are often a discursive medium, and so naturally we find ourselves touching on many and diverse topics. This week, we delve into poetry and Star Trek, just in case you were under the illusion that we were anything other than unreconstructed nerds. Walker, being part jock, had to be restrained so as to not spontaneously give himself a wedgie. AYURIS: Crusaders: Thy Will Be Done 2m06s (Seth...

There are so many life lessons to be learned from the presidency of Richard Milhous Nixon. For one, shave before debates. For another, hire limber secretaries with flexible standards on truth. Always be sure to hire expert lockpickers. Make sure your vice president will have your back (Nixon at least got a mulligan on that one). I mean, he's not a role model of mine--I wouldn't get his face tattoo...

Subtitles are to be used with discretion. Some people can't be trusted with them, and most of those people seem to work in Hollywood and non-fiction publishing. We resist the urge much of the time, but every once in a while the dam bursts and we must find an outlet for our pent-up subtitling impulses. We have over twenty this time. We're sorry. AYURIS: Teotihuacan: City of Gods 3m53s (Daniele Tasc...

A rulebook generates expectations, and whether and how those expectations are met or frustrated is an interesting phenomenon. Sometimes you get exactly what you want and that's a good thing--and sometimes the rules promise a set of experiences that never manifest. Over time, you start to get a better feel for what a game might be like by virtue of its rulebook, but even experienced gamers can be t...

“Imagine that you are creating a fabric of human destiny with the object of making men happy in the end, giving them peace and rest at last. Imagine that you are doing this but that it is essential and inevitable to torture to death only one tiny creature...in order to found that edifice on its unavenged tears. Would you consent to be the architect on those conditions? Tell me. Tell the truth.”― F...

No daunts are asked and no daunts are given this week. "I don't give a daunt" is tattooed on Walker's back, no doubt an homage to Rhett Butler's famous ending line. We needed a little breather this time--a break from two-hour epic experiences. A little palate cleanser to ease us into a purely digital gaming life; because, to be frank, in this stage of isolation, we felt a little daunted. We will p...

Isolation gaming continues, so we turn our lonely eyes to gaming alone--an endeavour that predates plague-induced solitude, but is certainly thriving now. Many a gamer is experimenting with those (increasingly frequent) variants for the first time. We understand--any port in a storm. Let us game alone together. AYURIS: Coimbra 1m48s (Flaminia Brasini & Virginio Gigli, eggertspiele, 2018)Games Play...

A little throwback for you, our dear and loyal listeners, a small taste of the pre-summer schedule splendour and abundance where we spoil you with both a topic and a feature game. It happened organically, you see, what with all the social distancing -mandated two-player gaming we've been doing. That, and we want to try to give you a little more in light of the world giving you a little less. Of co...

Ripped from the headlines, as Dick Wolf is wont to say, we present to you the most timely of discussions. Of course, Walker takes us down theoretical tangents once again, whereas Mark rolls his eyes and tried to keep things on track--the standard roles that our hosts always seem to fall into. In Walker's defense, the Kool-Aid Man is a pressing philosophical issue. Fortunately, boardgaming has reso...

All of your burning questions shall be addressed! Why is there something rather than nothing? Quid est veritas? War, huh! What is it good for? Why do birds suddenly appear every time a Knizia game is near? Rest assured that the topics covered are vast--Macross, objectivism, fictional Thai kick boxers, and so much more. Featuring special guests Dan Thurot (spacebiff.com), Charlie Theel (playerelimi...

Warning: there is some implied discussion of the existence of the health care field in this week's review. No jokes were made about current viral events, though, and given the general low-brow nature of this podcast that's a minor miracle. The only jokes about current affairs are related to hip hop, and even those references are dated to over twenty years ago. Games Played Last Week:-Street Master...