Smeared Mascara

Send us Fan Mail Welcome back, loyal listeners! The Smeared Mascara audio department is doing its best to give you the quality content you deserve.  La Presidente of the Pod aka B-Rock made the executive decision to destroy our overworked storage card after this episode.  Listen and you’ll understand. You’ll still hear our smart ass comments and our loud laughs through some choppy cuts. You’ll sur...

Send us Fan Mail The ladies of Smeared Mascara have once again created a pod-tastic masterpiece for your listening pleasure. Brooke recaps the Little League World Series, shitty Bay Area traffic, and haircut class woes. You may find yourself questioning thinning shears and their use. Mandy gushes over a newfound podcast, and has survived another brutal season of parenting.  The Hazel Cafe TikTok d...

Send us Fan Mail Thank you for joining Brooke and Mandy in today’s very important discussion about retirement. The ladies of Smeared Mascara will guide you in making some of the most important choices that you will make in your adult life.  Serious topics such as ideal home decor and poolside socialization opportunities are in today’s episode. Learn how to live your best retirement life while rema...

Send us Fan Mail The ladies try something new this week by broadcasting live on TikTok. You’ll hear Brooke and Mandy professionally explain their origins story and expertly manage this new element of recording. No… so for realsies you’ll hear these babes figuring out how TikTok Live works and telling their new viewers all about Charli XCX’s wedding among other topics.  Some highlights are Brooke s...

Send us Fan Mail Step into the Smeared Mascara Time Machine and travel to the summers of the past. This week Brooke and Mandy talk about childhood, teen, and early adult summertime. Hear how these divas survived without air conditioning and smartphones.  Language is spicy as always. If you’re surprised you must be new here. Welcome!  It’s time to pause the VCR and take a pod break because Smeared...

Send us Fan Mail This week Brooke and Mandy describe their Too Short concert experience. The vibe was chill and the ladies were loving it. (Check out the Smeared Mascara socials for dancing, rapping, and more from the show!) The Bezos wedding is judged harshly from wardrobe choices to the guest list. Like Countess Luann sang, “Money can’t buy you class.” Luckily the people of Venice used their cre...

Send us Fan Mail The world is in shambles and you probably need to tune out from reality. Luckily Brooke and Mandy are here to help.  The ladies of Smeared Mascara make fun of the political jerk-offs so you don’t have to. Relax while petty insults are thrown at RFK and his homies. KN is missing and there’s no trail of extensions to follow. This is a code Red, White & Blue. Keep listening to he...

Send us Fan Mail Welcome back to another installment of Smeared Mascara. This week Brooke and Mandy talk about the nationwide No Kings protests, grad parties, and Father’s Day. Mandy shares her support for Miley Cyrus, and Brooke reveals her true feelings about the Dodgers. Is this now a sporty spice and political podcast? Nope, it’s still the same shit talking pop culture podcast fueled by undiag...

Send us Fan Mail This episode the ladies discuss life’s general fuckery. Topics range from protests to sphincters. Brooke introduces us to her new Dyson, and Mandy recounts her trip to SoCal. There is a brief Diddy trial update, and some major Mario Lopez hateration.  So buckle up and get ready for this raunchy ride of podcast amazingness.  As always, the language is foul. Plan accordingly. Rated...

Send us Fan Mail Get ready to smize and work the runway with Brooke and Mandy. This week the ladies talk about the beautiful and diverse bodies of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Fashion Show, eighth grade audacity, and all things pop culture. Real-time reactions to the college softball World Series can be heard in the background which ultimately set the pace for this episode.  Enjoy the return of...

Send us Fan Mail This episode was recorded on Memorial Day of 2025. Brooke and Mandy discuss how blessed they are to be alive during this time of equal rights and economic prosperity. <<record scratch>> Okay, jump in the DeLorean and get back to reality.  The ladies discuss everything from softball supers to the latest in tv and TikTok.  Of course Hulu’s Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is...

Send us Fan Mail We solemnly swear to judge pop culture, politics, and any other topics we see fit. Join us in the Smeared Mascara courtroom, won’t you? The Honorable Judges Brooke and Mandy are serving unsolicited opinions and lewks. Listen to the ladies recap their weekends. Brooke witnesses geriatric drama, and Mandy visits the suburban version of Chuck E. Cheese. Sporty Spice News returns, and...

Send us Fan Mail Welcome back to Smeared Mascara, the religious and political podcast. (Insert record scratch) Just kidding! There’s mention of these taboo dinner party topics but in the way that gets you sent to hell.  This week the ladies recap their Mother’s Day activities and how hashtag blessed they are. Did YOU take your kid to an anime convention over an hour away like Mandy did??? Brooke t...

Send us Fan Mail This week Brooke and Mandy use their finest screenshots gathered from the World Wide Web to discuss The Met Gala. Get dandy with us, won’t you? It’s also an early birthday celebration for B-Rock. Hear how she plans on spending this milestone day.  Conclave Couture could make an appearance.  Mandy is crushed over the conclusion of The Righteous Gemstones. Jesus take the wheel becau...

Send us Fan Mail The ladies of Smeared Mascara are back and ready to talk some smack! Warning: Strong opinions are shared about sandwiches, movies, concerts, and podcasts.  Clips of Katy Perry’s latest stage show are hitting socials and viewers confused.  Does space travel decrease a human’s ability to perform?  Our sources say maybe.  TikToks showcasing Cowboy Carter concert lewks are being poste...

Send us Fan Mail This week’s episode of Smeared Mascara focuses on the three Cs: Coachella, Conclave and Chisme. Find out details from Mandy’s festival field correspondent, and what this reveals about Gen Z. Brooke gives us a behind the scenes story about Beauty School Fight Club.  It’s as intense as that blue mascara from the 80s.  Pop in those AirPods and tune out the world because Smeared Masca...

Send us Fan Mail Put on your shorty shorts and your flower crown because we’re headed to Coachella! Actually Brooke and Mandy are reporting about Coachella via social media. Did you really expect these babes to travel during the school year? In this economy? The ladies hypothesize the logistics of possible festival hookups, and navigating the desert landscape in a wheelchair.  Brooke tells us abou...

Send us Fan Mail **This episode contains SPOILERS for the season 3 finale of White Lotus** This week Brooke and Mandy talk about the nationwide protest that took place over the weekend. The signs were signing and the people are pissed. Mandy spills the tea about a bachelorette party in wine country. Lessons were learned, and memories were made. Both ladies give their opinions about the last episod...

Send us Fan Mail This episode is popping with pop culture. Brooke and Mandy have a mature discussion about appendages and Italian desserts. The ladies also talk about the challenges of raising Gen Z-ers, “remixing” your life, and their current favorite streaming shows. This is definitely not the episode to listen with your kids or conservative friends. It’s giving the sex, drugs and HBO MAX vibe. ...

Send us Fan Mail Have you ever accidentally texted the wrong person? We absolutely have. Have you ever accidentally added a journalist to a super, ultra, mega confidential political message??? And then the journalist publishes the message? And THEN the White House press secretary gets involved???? Well Brooke and Mandy have never done that, but that would be totes embarrassing. Listen to the ladie...

Send us Fan Mail St. Patrick’s Day is a big deal in any city named Dublin. Mandy and Brooke experienced this holiday in their hometown like never before. What started out as a normal Saturday morning turned into an afternoon of lip syncing for their lives. Lucky for all involved, there is video footage.  Put on anything green and set your leprechaun traps because you are now entering The Smeared M...

Send us Fan Mail This week Brooke and Mandy talk about the joys of being a woman and marvel at the amazing progress that we’ve made as a society and culture over the centuries. Then we bring it right back to reality remind ourselves of the dystopian society we are experiencing. Fight the power! The ladies discuss self worth and confidence along with churros and Lent. It’s time to get comfy and unw...

Send us Fan Mail Welcome back to another episode of Smeared Mascara. Brooke and Mandy are trying a more structured and focused episode this week. We received some “constructive criticism” from some “fans” and were trying something new. There is talk of the Oscars, the red carpet, and the chisme. The ladies also express their newfound interest in a 90s political pariah/pop culture icon. Hint: Her n...

Send us Fan Mail This week Brooke and Mandy rave about the Dsquared2 fashion show. Doechii and Naomi Campbell walked. No crumbs.  A drag name for Brooke is being workshopped. Ideas for last names are being accepted. Drop us a text or email with your suggestions. The ladies are still mesmerized by Garbanzo the cat, and Walton Goggins’ teeth. Check out TikTok for Garbanzo and The White Lotus for the...

Send us Fan Mail This week’s episode of Smeared Mascara covers Saturday Night Live’s 50th Anniversary show. Of course Brooke and Mandy didn’t watch the entire 3 hour show. They watched clips on TikTok like normal people. Duh. Naturally there is discussion about our nation and opinions are shared about leadership. This shouldn’t be surprising to our regular listeners. Do you know us?  There are man...