Slop Quest

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, the gang covers Andy getting chemical burns on his hands from throwing urinal cakes at people in elementary school. Then, they talk about Bloody Mary being back in full effect for a whole new generation. Things take a dark turn when they find out about the dude dating S...

Helix is offering up to 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows four our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BeachCops. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, Andy brings in a survival tool for show-and-tell with...

Shop now at dietsmoke.com and use the code BEACHCOPS at checkout for 20% off your entire first order. That's dietsmoke.com , code BEACHCOPS at checkout for 20% off. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this spicy episode of Beach Cops, O’Neill brings out his childhood fingerboard and tries to skate on Andy’s nipples. Th...

Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/beachcops. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops O’Neill is back from his tour with a brand new debilitating ski injury. Was it another curse by Boon? Who knows because O’Neill found doodie stains in the...

This Episode is sponsored by Better Help To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops We recorded this bad boy on Friday the 13th, and it’s pretty spooky! O’Neill makes everyone watch the Skinamarink Horror trailer, and Aaron and Andrew want nothing to do with it. Andy reveals a secret about adult film stars. They talk spooky cele...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, Danish and O’Neill try to give the Bushman a proper eulogy, but they just roast him to Andrew‘s horror. (It’s what he would have wanted!) And, O’Neill meets the ultimate Scrooge Karen at a grocery store. There's much more on the Patreon side, so check it out if you have...

The episode starts on a somber note, as we mourn the loss of Los Angeles' beloved mountain lion, P-22. However, O'Neill is quick to point out that he feels that P-22 wasn't euthanized, but instead, there was foul play involved. Different P-22 theories and ideas emerge, as we give him the goodbye he deserves. Andrew talks about his body and the different colors certain body parts are. He also calls...

The episode opens up with Andrew talking about Dolph Lundgren's TED Talk. After that, there's some parrot and Stockton, CA talk. There's then a smooth transition into discussing a UFC fighter who has the last name Holtzman. We also have some mortician talk. Andrew decides to write a letter to O'Neill's wife to apologize for some past comments he's made on the show. It goes super well. That goes in...

This episode starts with the entire gang having Wendingo nightmares to report. Then, O’Neill sets a fire during Thanksgiving Dinner via the dreaded Green Bean Casserole preparation. Andrew brings up a point about ancient sculptures, which triggers an O'Neill vs. Andrew debate on ancient art as it pertained to weiner size in statues. And the show ends with the guys listening to a great new river pi...

Ryan tells a story of having an encounter with a Native American trickster spirit (a wendingo) in the dream world, and Andrew thinks it followed him home. What does this mean for the Beach Cops? Andrew reads the tarot (on his phone) for Ryan, and the devil is revealed once again. There's also some talk about cold weather pole-licking. Enjoy! 

Aaron starts off the episode with a wild cautionary tale of athletic supporters and emergency dumps. This leads Andrew to demand jock strap lingerie equality for men. Then, a business idea erupts that involved Danish’s Jewish Christmas tree menorah patch, and they debate how many and what kind of birds could lift Andy for a flying show. This leads to O’Neill coming up with a kissing booth idea for...

More recycling can talk! Then, O’Neill says goodbye to Aaron. A discussion starts about lunch ladies, and the question "have you ever seen a man serving school lunch?" is asked, which gets DeWitt raving about his school's calzone. This leads to him craving calzone and pizza throughout the episode. Duran Duran comes up, and O'Neill takes a few cracks at singing their hits. This episode is brought t...

It’s tire pressure season in Los Angeles! And, Andrew opens up like a bat out of hell with a tire pressure story that will keep you on the edge of your seat. O’Neill sees how tall Andy is with sciatica and talks about a documentary he saw, which gets Andrew going on some classic impressions. There's also some long legged mack daddy discussion!

The boys talk cutting-edge political news and brilliant current event riffing before…who am I kidding? This episode goes off the rails immediately as the boys spend almost the entire episode making soup jokes when they find a website that has hundreds of soup jokes on it. This may be divisive but the soup jokes are decisive. It’s a recipe for soupcess! 

This episode was recorded on Halloween day but is obviously coming out after the fact. DeWitt gets scared when he arrives at a spooky, empty studio. O’Neill hides his toilet comics after he found out DeWitt reads them. Danish has an amazing report on Holtzman’s “Roast of Dracula”. Also, DeWitt takes a chronic masturbation mental health test. Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code [BEACHCOPS]...

Another booger gets thrown away in the DeWitt household. And to make matters worse, Sorbitol farts keep DeWitt up all night. A new segment called “Let’s Google Things to See If They Exist” is debuted. Danish reveals that a lot of young people hate the “thumbs up“ emoji, and DeWitt and O’Neill fight about it. Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our l...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops There’s more can talk from the DeWitt family as they take their empty beer and weed soda cans to school for recycling day field trip points. Then, a new show idea emerges: “The Real House Santa’s of Atlanta”. Ryan proposes an X-rated partnership with ATC. Also, the gang remembers that t...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops An age old debate comes up: were Pazusu's (from a documentary about a wannabe cult leader who called himself Pazusu) ladies hot. Hear who's on the right and wrong side of history. Andrew opens up about a creepy weed dealer from his past, and his friend, Bruce Doo’Tay who is being scamme...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Brian Holtzman is finally on Beach Cops, and boy, does he come in hot, singing "My Sharona" and plugging his new book, "A Bar Girl in a Woke World". He even talks eating ass with DeWitt and airs some comedy grievances. He also plugs a hot stand up date he has for the roast of Dracula! I...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of Beach Cops, the gang gives Aaron his first Wizard Name! Andrew's wife tells the "hilarious" divorce story at a party and it doesn't go according to plan. They come up with some legitimately great business ideas including a birthday party garbage truck and Pizza Pantie...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Reminiscent of the good ole days of Boner City USA, Andrew and O'Neill are at each other's throats as Andy derails entire segments to talk about weight loss, buttholes and the usual stuff that enrages O'Neill. Danish finally gets credit for his luxurious hair. Black Mirror Style questio...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops   On this action packed episode of Beach Cops, O’Neill threatens DeWitt with an actual real life taser to prevent tickling then Danish pulls up pictures of Prince King Charles’s hot dog fingers. Danish and O’Neill grill DeWitt about how his entire family hangs out with him while he’s on...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops   We open with a John Little update. Then, Andy is accused of some donkey business. Later, he tries out his new presidential impressions. He also opens our eyes to the ultra secretive world of restaurant supplies. After that, it's a hilarious tale of almost divorce.

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops   Jeff takes over summertime attire duties after Andrew starts slacking. Then it's tuber talk. Andrew talks about popping a wheelie, which ends with catastrophic results. Then, it's puppet time in the DeWitt househould. After that, we discuss the controversial 21 and over whipped cream...

PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops   Hello! And welcome to Beach Cops with Jeff Danis, Ryan O'Neill, and Andrew DeWitt. Andrew kicks off the episode by mentioning what he has in common with our sound man, Aaron (he gets to this by breaking out into a song). O'Neill has a tale that falls in the hiking gone wrong category. After that, Andrew talks about the stain on his shorts and how he onc...