Slop Quest

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, please go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of Beach Cops, Andy is recovering from Covid, and the C...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Andy brings in Nerf guns, and it makes the opening of the show extremely chaotic. Then, he gets (fake) cheese lip so bad it gives him a lip pimple. He also has some new surf tales  and claims he popped the supposed lip pimple boogie boarding. O’Neill makes fun of Andy’s favorite spice s...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of Beach Cops, Ryan goes hiking drunk, Andrew recounts an old story about Taco Bell Gorditas that goes wrong. A dude gets shown racy pictures on a plane by a lady, and Air Marshal Andrew catches them. Danish reads a political article about farts. Then, they find out abou...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops O’Neill has a family incident with fireworks and then launches so many Roman candles he looks like a chimney sweep. Then, the gang imagines Andy’s "pirate" teaming up with Somali pirates. There’s some more black powder talk. After, there’s some AI talk mixed with some Scottish Lords tal...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Andrew “thinks” he saw an extremely tall lady adult film being filmed in an alley. Someone’s wife goofs through the metal security door and then her and Andy do prairie dog noises, while O’Neill is on the toilet. Andy finds out about an AI app that generates erotic stories and goes nuts...

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of Beach Cops, Ryan reveals that his goofy wife won’t stop doi...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON:  https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Andy gets stuck in his own apartment and has to drill his way out. Ryan talks about Breaking Away and Indiana history. Then, the stream goes down again. A butter fire is suggested for burning notebooks. Andy enjoys VR adult content, where he has to outrun male genitalia, which Danish a...

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON:  https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Come celebrate 200 episodes with a Mad Lib the fans sent in that doesn’t matc...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of Beach Cops, the gang talks about catering movies to 4DX seating, which Andy loves. Then, Ryan makes fun of Yoda’s clothes, which really bothers Andy. Andrew reminds the gang how much his dad loves "Cool Runnings". Danish talks about using a sexy cashier voice to say s...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won’t last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. Andy starts the show, talking about his tragically famous Dutch ancestors, and...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON:  https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, Andrew has a disappointing urination stream due to a soap fiasco. Danish goes to Disneyland, and people walk off a ride in the middle of it. Andy finds body grooming tips on YouTube (guess which body part) that blow his mind. Then, Danish finds a human interest story a...

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON:  https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of Beach Cops, Aaron finally becomes one with Beach Cops as h...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON:  https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Be forewarned: Aaron is on fire with the wordplay this episode, so plan accordingly. Andy comes out of the gates with excitement over having something in common with Mark Normand. What he has in common makes Danish and O’Neill ask Andy how far he’d go for his "special interest". Andy t...

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops We open with O’Neill being delighted that Chinese throwing stars are legal aga...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON:  https://www.patreon.com/beachcops The show opens with more misremembered historical ramblings from DeWitt, including a guy who ate strawberries and cream until he exploded. O’Neill suggests that Andy’s vision board needs more business goals and less stuff about butts. Then, there’s some Vince McMahon talk. Danish debut...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode, Andy opens with a Romeo and Juliet fart parody song based off the 1969 movie, and O’Neill is not impressed. Then, O’Neill has an insane list of demands for the aliens should they ever kidnap him. Danish talks about Israeli cars that run on hummus. Then, he pulls up a vi...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Aaron wins a gigantic trophy for softball, and O’Neill goes for stolen softball trophy valor antics. Then, they ask Andy if he would have his mouth surgically altered as a way to become more popular. After that, they roast the lineup from Coachella. Andy has an amazing business idea cal...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this episode of Beach Cops, Andy has been watching more Milf Manor. O’Neill fears the Presidential power of Bill Clinton’s sexual energy. Danish exposes a fitness beef between John Little and Earl Skakel. Then, an improv sensation sweeps the nation as Andy and Ryan take on the roles...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders including the Helix Kids mattress AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to HelixSleep.com/BeachCops. This is their best offer yet and it won’t last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. On this episode of Beach Cops, Andy reveals t...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops This one starts with the gang talking about Andrew being concussed with a basketball while he was dressed as a viking in high school. Then, things get real when the Ghost Pepper Challenge mentioned on the previous episode becomes a truly scientific paper, spoken by DeWitt, transcribed b...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops It’s St. Patrick’s day on Beach Cops, and Ryan demands respect for his heritage. Andy reveals he is 2% Vietnamese, and Ryan says he can tell.  Then, the gang comes up with the new craze: The Ghost Pepper Challenge. Speaking of peppers, listener Hot Hot Peppers has advice for O’Neill abo...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON:  https://www.patreon.com/beachcops The show opens with the boys receiving some amazing gifts from fans. After, Andy wears smart boy glasses and shares a "drawering" he did of the boys as fantasy wizards. Andy talks about a hilarious "milking machine" Twitter incident with a certain public figure he's drawn criticism for...

Helix is offering up to 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners! Go to Helixsleep.com/BEACHCOPS. This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long! With Helix, better sleep starts now. To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops On this ep, the "teacher" finally changes Andrew and Ryan's seats, so th...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops The boys return to the dark for a full episode to get the creative juices flowing. O’Neill refuses to participate in a standing ovation at a theater and becomes violent at the idea of being forced to stand. DeWitt’s family has anxiety about all their ESP. When O'Neill comes up with a sc...

To listen to this full episode and get other bonus content, go to our PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/beachcops It comes out that Andy has been keeping a “productivity journal” while O’Neill was out of town. Danish reads O’Neill the journal, and he loses it because it’s mainly tracking bowel movements and "self-love" time. Danish and O’Neill have a eulogy for Bob from the Comedy Store, which puts...